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Tuesday, July 21, 2009

keep holding on

i don't know why..
recently i cant control my emotion...
a small matter only, i will suddenly feel wanna cry out..
i just keep hold on the tear..
wont let it flow..
but then i failed..
i rush to my room,
close the door
and cried alone..

i don't know what the heck is happening to me..
this is so different from the last me..
why I'm changing to this kind of people...

a lot of thing are really bothering me right now..
i cant find any reason for me to keep smiling..
even now,
I'm avoiding my housemate,
i locked myself at the room..
I'm afraid that i will suddenly cried out loud again..


darn..
i also have difficulty in breathing..
there are time, i nearly faint down at school
i cant breath..
keep holding on, so that i wouldn't faint down and give trouble to other..

i wanted to call home and tell my mum all the thing I'm suffering right now..
but i don't want them to worried bout me,
i wanted them to know that i can do it,
i don't want to disappointed them again..

am i too childish?
I'm too dependable on my parent..
i guess if i keep acting like a kid here,
i would never be independent..


what can i do?

1 comment:

tohoshinkilkv said...

CRY YOUR HEART OUT MY DEAR. THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO POINT FOR YOU HOLDING BACK YOUR TEARS. WHAT;S THE POINT. YOU R MAKING UR LIFE HARDER N UR HEART ACHE MORE. OK NW I'M NT TRYING TO COUNSEL U IT JZ TAT I TRIED TAT B4 SO I UNDERSTAND SUM OF UR SITUATION. I DOESN;T MATTER IF U CRY ALONE AS LONG AS U FEEL ALRIGHT AFTER TAT. MAYBE U CAN THINK BACK WHAT U'VE DONE TAT MADE URSELF CRY.I'VE CRIED ALONE. WHO CARES? BE BRAVE TO OVERCOME EVERYTHING. FOR ME IT IS NT NECESSARY TO TELL PPL WAT UR PROBLEM IS IF U R MATURED ENUF TO TACKLE THE PROBLEMS URSELF. IS A LEARNING PROCESS. NT EVERYBODY WILL FOR US ALL THE TIME. EVEN THEY LEND THEIR EARS N LISTEN TO UR PROBLEMS WAT ELSE THAY CAN DO?
U MIGHT FEEL BETTER BT IN THE EBD U R D 1 WHO DECIDE WAT U NED TO DO NEXT RITE? SO DUN THINK SO MUCH. U HV FRIENDS HERE. SHYUAN ME, PENG, CHUEN,YCHING. V WILL SUPPORT U. NO WORRIES MY DEAR. MAYBe i dun hv d right to tell u ALL THESE BT TIS IS WAT I FELT YA. SORRY IF I WRITTEN SUM TRASH MAN.