break

taking a break after "study"
can be said a little progress after i back to home so far~~
I'm taking a little break,
viewing picture of others people profile pictures + pictures at facebook...
i pick lots of "friends" that i knew from the school i attended
[which i don't know they listed my as friend or not]
[probably not==]

although they were close to me once and now if they still think i am part of it..
but when viewing the picture let me felt,
i was so far away from them...
i feel like i did not know who they are at all...
maybe the feeling of ending this foundation means everything will be start all over again
a little bit freaking me out...


i had been thinking bout this since i knew I'm going to say byebye to foundation..
one year of it is so 'suck'?
how am i going to keep on for THREE fucking year?
this school is not an entertainment university as i saw from my other friends uni life...
maybe is my opinion only...

by the way,
i saw my exam timetable today,
exam start at 26/4
end at 27/4 sharp at noon...
and I'm going back before the sun set on that days...
as fast as possible i hope...
i do not wanted to spend more time on that place,
meeting people who treated other just like 'that' make me feel sick
and my brain cant help focusing only that 'thing'
it pissed me off...
plus,
i wanted to back home earlier and sleep early,
before it starts...
going to start to earn some money..
i used too much sources,
which decrease my assets and increase my liabilities..

once i started,
hard for me to take off my hand..
i love typing~~
and I'm so addicted to blog out my opinion..

sign off..
p/s: never ask me who is that people I'm mentioning, if you felt you are, then you are...
I'm not going to take back my word here.. because whatever thing i started to write since that days.. thanks to you...

"Holiday"

is been 6days since i back to home,
"LOT" of things have been done by me...
the 1st three days,
someone left,
and out of sudden it wake me up that life is so fragile..
and problem keep rushing in,
just like the wave of the ocean...
there are times,
when you choose to avoid,
but the fact is,
you cant run away from it...
when you choose to face it,
you will realize you cant do a things...

i really hoping i can help a thing..
but when problem occur,
i really did not know what i can do...
there is a limit in my capability...

should forget all this stuff and start packing my mood to study...
short semester is just like it name,
SHORT
everything is short..
maybe good things happen short...


the last three days,
i spend my time watching drama and reading books...
I'm addicted to fantasy fiction right now...
spend most of my time reading all those books
and i finish three books and two drama with 20episodes in 6days..
i must have spend my time "wisely" for these few days...
i bet i will back to my studies place sooner...
because too much entertainment for me at here..
today,
i go out with my mum,
and i swear that i wont walk under the sun again...
the sun hated me...
besides,
since the incident of rape case nearby our housing area,
my mum had forbid me to go out at night..
this had conclude my life really "otaku"
==

p/s: wait me I'll be back soon to have the last yum-cha with U ^^

bless me i get it!!

OFF

OFFICIALLY OFF

my baby Acer condition is very serious now...
according to the expert, Tan Wei Siang..
is going to be more than a month for recovery...
maybe till the next semester i will meet with my baby,
till then...
Goodbye baby..
haih...
not even celebrate 1st years birthday,
baby never separate with me more than a week since it born..
TT
Get Well SOON~~~
but luckily it still under warranty....

hohoho~~
going to spend my day borrowing laptop with other
or
fight to use home desktop with my brother
=='''

night

wish my baby get well soon

EXTRA

i spread it all out again...

i should learn to keep my mouth shut after this conversation...

is been a time i keep this in my mind...

i keep on thinking bout this thing until i tell it all out...

for the very last time i tell this story..

i don't wanna things to get even worst anymore....

a nice chat,

i finally found some one just like me....

T.T

maybe things will be better when she come back this week...

she is wiser than me..

T.T

my mum tell me that i was the extra

although i hate to admit this,

but talk till the end,

everything is a crap...

i will end up as an extra in their story...

maybe she is right,

but i knew it earlier before she told me that i was an extra...

i already walk away from the circle slowly....

by the way,

there is a slight sign that my laptop is going to spoil...

I'm going to send it to be fix..

thanks to my itchy hand who go and touch the screen so hard..

i hope it still can be warranty...

is another good news anyway..

i will send it to be fix for the next two weeks,

i hope by this i can concentrate more on my final..

ngek ngek..

yea...

cant wait for the end of this..

Keep My MOUTH SHUT

=X

Outsider

I'm feeling as if I'm an outsider right now..

no matter what they discuss..

i feel that i have no right to step myself inside..

every opinion/ suggestion seems like did not help out..

or I'm just crap myself out???

even i told them i want to,

but others will thought that i am crapping and ignore me..

they tell me they want to,

when i say yes,

they will find other people...

so what is the point of telling me?

or asking me to tell you?

just because I'm not important?

I'm ugly?

I'm fugly?

I'm not as attractive as others?

i cant be used up like others?

making myself stepping out of this problem,

people will said that I'm selfish..

if i tried to help,

people will said that I'm a troublesome people who just love to stick the ass into the fire..

maybe from the start,

I'm doing all this just to make myself feel better,

then i will not feel guilty when I'm looking or facing you...

I'm just selfish anyway..

making myself feeling better without taking considerate what other really think and felt...

why the day cant be peaceful like what i see in other people life...

#########################################

just because she scolded her,

she decided to quit the job..

although i can see her smiling when she said she wanna quit it...

but i knew she just cant let the job flew off like that..

just because of us..

even he,

the one who always asking her to quit job ever since i am born

feel the same way as she do...

plus lots of sad things happen in my family....

everyone seems to act like nothing happen,

but...

i just don't know wanna how to describe it...

after knowing them for so long,

then only i realize that,

the happy face are fake...

there are lots of internal affair happen in the family..

i knew it long time ago but i just don't wanna ask about it since family trying to protect all this problem from the younger generation...

now everything suddenly blast out..

i really don't know what i can help out..

maybe standing aside and let the adult done the job really can help them out..

everything will be OK

tomorrow will be fine

HATE me

I'm not a good people.
although there are friends around me,
always says that i am a good friends bla bla bla~~
but I'm the bad one who play all the 'mind' game...

maybe this case is the greatest example of all...
i shouldn't start this conversation with them from start..
now not only them but I also included in this game....
i really regretted..
i should not say out loud this sensitive issues..
now everyone is like playing psychology game..

last time,
i knew you were talking like talking our bad in front of the others..
that is the reason why i did not like approach to you so much..
now things is getting worst when other start this conversation
and i could not help myself and spread it out..
aaaahhh
my bad..

i hate it when other started to hate each other..
i hate it even more if I'm the starter of this things..
erm..
maybe i have high potential in playing this kind of game..

i don't know what i should do now..
sad or laugh???
--
good night..

I = Bad Friend

I am hard to be friend..

i admitted this things since i leave my secondary school...

i told everyone..

i have less friends..

but no one ever believe this..

my mum eventually believe that i am hard to be entertained as friend ==

every time when we chat,

my mum will search back all my previous friendship and ask if we still contact or not..

although i hate to answer all this question,

which is just make me admit that I'm not a good friends...

yes..

i have lost contact with them..

and i don't know why and how???

maybe is because I'm hard to make a move to please others???

even till now,

my mum always asking me the same question about some friends of mine...

although we just less talking or seeing each other..

my mum will thought that we have already became enemy or what..

==

she keep said that me and my brother are the same..

both have less friends..

i always blame my mum for the reason i have less friends..

maybe this is the only way i can feel better..

sorry mum...

plus..

this few days..

I'm turning to be more and more aggressive..

I'm easily get anger by just a small stuff..

friends are being scold by me just like that...

luckily most of them have a wide and open heart..

I'm feel sorry to them whenever i think of that....

but..

i cant change the fact that i am hard to be pleased

and

entertained

this make me the worst friend ever...

but..

one is better than none..

thanks friends for viewing..

DoG

I used to loved dog...

but after today experience..

I HATE IT

I HATE DOG!!!

stupid DOG

aaaaa!!!!!!!

Coming/Changes

They are coming to ROCK the town..

this is the first time i ever feel excited bout their arrival..

maybe i got a feeling of wanna go and meet up with them~~

i view the ticket price..

quite expensive

plus...

they meet up at the place i hate the most...

KL =.='''

maybe this is just a plan that will never going to work out..

I'm thinking of going instead of waiting for things to come to my way...

but my body did not react as what my brain told..

my body cells are lacking of exercise...

breathless

##########################################

by the way..

i make some new friends last week..

for those who really know me well, usually know that i like ICEssssssss

then my new friend told me that

my life span will not more than 50 or 60 if i keep on my habit eating ice..

but

I DON'T CARE~~

since i never plan to live for such a long ages..

being alive for 50years is enough for me....

i never hope for more in reality...

i do hope a lot in my imagination world..

life is tough..

is harder than the imagination...

is more complex than what i thought it would be when i was small...

although there is lot of thing happen that make me regretted once,

i could never ever going to fix it all again,

since i knew it is impossible..

bringing all these and carry on with my life..

still have 30years to go...

i try to ignore the changes happen around me..

it seems like yesterday,

you still look like a normal to me...

i wonder what make you changes till this point...

in some cases,

i may looks like I'm very arrogant or snob...

the reason for this is..

i don't know how to help you feel better...

maybe experience teaches me that,

you have to went through this alone,

until you'll be able to stand up again...

no one can help you except yourself..

###########################################

today,

a cousin of mine will be leaving to further his studies at other country...

all the best DOCTOR..

at these moment,

I'm thinking of ways to upgrade myself much more better..

at least,

when the very next time we meet again with others...

i will change a lots..

i will not smell so kampung

lots of things inside my mind..

i think i should stop writing now

before i keep on crapping...

there is time,

i wish i never wake up