its 7.++a.m
first in my life time, i spend so much time on it to do...
feel so proud to myself for be able to finish 2 reports!! each have at least more than 8 pages..
still then,
have to say thanks you a lot to some of my group member..
i use the some word, because not everyone is participating in doing this assignment..
throughout this process, i learn a lot of thing...
i learn that in this world, there is people who thought can gain all the benefit or achievement without giving any effort.
oh yea, you are totally damn wrong to think that I'm a good people..
thanks to all my supportive classmate and my other group members,
i decided to report this case up...
maybe this will not affect anything to your mark and you may hate me forever..
but when all of us are doing assignment till the morning for two days,
twisting our brain...
accompany me for the whole process..
what the hell are you doing? sleeping? enjoying playing online game or chit chatting with your friends?

blame me for not informed you or instruct you what to do and how to do?
please wake up you idiot..
if you really concern bout it?
you need me to come and beg you everyday to come and do assignment?
cant you come and ask me the progress of it?
not even once you asked..
even if you asked, also is me the one who started the question 1st...

i really really sick facing you...
even there is still other members in the group did not put many effort..
but at least they concern and helped me...
fuck
cant believe i typed that long for you two..
really a waste of time..
but this is just to keep me awake, so that i wont feel sleepy...






thank you:
Eugene, JiaMing, HockSan, WoeiChyuan..(supportive classmate)
gowri, Jay, Darren, KarYan(supportive group member)
BF and her team(for the info)



by the way, i will blog it out next post whether i will really report it or not
(deep in my heart, i feel guilty)

just back from doing assignment..
a big achievement..
although is not as big as the other group..
i think my group member and i had done a lot of thing..

(forgive me if i nag a lot)

we finish our computer studies's poster,
(great job)

finish the public speaking outline
(I'm not satisfy with the point that i think, but since this is a last minute work, cant complained it)

tomorrow is going to be the last day to suffer as there will be two more assignment that going to be hand in this Friday...
i hope everything can be settle on time...

sleepy sleepy..
good night, rejected...

another picture is added.. just for shyuan




time flies,
you online, i online
we seems don't have anything to chat..
not like last time..

hi, how are you
when you come back?
take care
bye

we haven't see each other for so long
too long as i can remember..
i guess whenever you back,
you will see the different me
that what you tell me each time we meet

i feel lazier to communicate with people..
lazy to type thing at msn
lazy to click a mouse
lazy to press my phone
all the thing i expected seems going inversely of it..

after come back from my home..
i feel lazier and lazier to continue,
really feel harder to breath..
why it is getting harder and harder
tired and more tired

thx to my mum who bought me a knife
suddenly i have a feeling to kill myself at here,
seriously, i do thought of doing this these few days
at least i wont dirty my home..
to end it all



just two simple word for my friend
take care

p/s: if i really dead, please burnt me... and throw my ashes to the sea...

forget

there are a stupid thing happen to me
i keep thinking of something that will never going to happen..
maybe this is never going to happen,
so i imaginative it everyday..

sometime, how i wish that,
whatever thing that i imagine will going to be come true
but if it really come true,
I'm afraid i don't have the doubt to accept the fact..
so better everything are live in my imagination world

i still have the thinking that I'm not good enough,
in friendship, i still think that i really not good enough to become a friend..
compare to other, i don't know what is the point I'm here be a friend with them?
causing trouble? step myself into something that is not related with me..
i am not good enough to be a friend to everyone,
trying to improve myself but then i failed..
i failed to do so..
whatever thing had happen, i seem to be the last to know

I'm a failure after all..
like what he said to me from the start..
i never done a thing good..
there are time I've been thinking,
what is the point I'm standing on this earth..
i cant find a life of my own...


LOVE?
everyone desire to have one??
everyone wanted to own one..
a feeling that make you alive?
a feeling that make you feel you are not alone?
sometime i feel that love is a stupid thing..
maybe i don't have the criteria to love and to be love..
but love really need a lot of courage if you wanted to be love
i don't have those..
i still don't think I'm ready to be in a relationship...
and i have no commitment into love
(no one is there either)

god,
i blog it out,
just because, i wanted to forget everything
show me a path, that will lead to my life...

whenever i wake up everyday,
ALONE again,
alone sometime feel sucks,
especially at here,
the feeling of alone grew a lot more stronger...
why there are time i dislike to talked?
no one there wanted to listen
and I'm the one who be blamed, I'm not the type who easily tell out loud all my feeling
even if i tell,
sometime it really feel pain to see other people react with what i tell..
they never concern or bother at all..
i never blame them, is not their fault,
talk till the end, this is my problem..
none of their business also...

maybe in other people mind..
I'm the happy go lucky one,
I'm the joker..
this have to thanks to my brother a lot,
to make that other think that i look like you
sometime, i do hope i am you
maybe you have trouble?
but whatever thing that i can see at you
seems so good..
deeply addicted into gaming world,
have bunch of joker friends
at home,
you seems to be more important...
day have past,
the longer i stayed here,
i lost?
don't have thing to be talked to with my family..
went home is just to sleep for whole day
i wonder how you can create such a lot of thing to be say with other..
really really jealous of you..
really really hope can be half like you



online,
facebook~ing and blogging is the only thing i can do..
scared of disturb other in msn..


i view my phone,
a stupid remainder,
hoping that the person will sms me, but....
hoping that they will call me, but...
we use to sms a lot in past,
is that the way i sms you in a certain period scared you?


the only thing,
that entertained me is the cubic
a thing that i can really concentrate on and forget bout those feeling of ALONE

am i slowly being forgotten by others?
my fault for not putting effort for everyone to remember me?

'will you going to notice me? my feeling?'

messy

my life is messy
my table is messy
my notes are messy
my room are messy
my cupboard is messy
all about me is messy

people asked me,
can u search back your thing in such a mess up room/table/cupboard..
what i can say is
depends.. haha.. what more i can do..
I'm bad in managing my time.. sure don't have time to clean up or tidy up my stuff...
plus.. I'm not the hardworking type
i can be hardworking!!
but for only one or two day..

my mum and dad was hoping that i will change after i come here,
but then, i think the condition becoming more worst..
maybe my mum is not here to tidy up for me,
so it becoming more and more messy!!!
wahahahaha!!
sorry for disappointed u mum


I'm sorry, i cannot change,
I'm living in messy for nearly two decade..
I'm lazy for more than two decade also..
although I'm jealous of my housemate tidy room n their note is so neat..
but

sorry, i don't know how to conclude this..
hahaha!!!
that all...

(realize that i blog a lot this few days)

i hate crocodile

my thinking is so damn x matured
all i know is teasing other, commenting other.
but i never looked myself deeply into the mirror..

did i make u upset
sorry



i hate it actually,
to become a crocodile
taking advantage on others.
and yet, i becoming into this kind of people..
at the hometown,
i rely on other to fetch me out..
I'm scared of dark? she wouldn't scare?
at school,
i rely on other on my homework which are not related with them..
i scare of failing? they wouldn't scare?
homework,
i need someone to help me, he cycle from far, he never scared?

i hate myself for turning into this kind of human
i don't want transform into a crocodile

I'm just a selfish jerk after all

i becoming more n more tired to be independent
there are time, i wish there is a person who done all the stupid job for me..


i did not pampered anyone..
i just don't want to make people have a bad feeling toward me
i apologize,
if i croc you..



shyuan tell me
'inner beauty is the thing that matter'

x important

i realize that I'm not really important..
to my family
to my friend
to the society
to the world



and there are time,
people never notice bout my existence at all....
I'm 19 this year, and yet..
there are many of my parent friends or long long relative does not know bout me at all
but the weird thing is, they knew bout my two brother..
after seeing me, all got a shock!!
'oww!! you have a daughter???!!'

back to home,
make me think a lot..
yesterday till now, i did not step out from my room..
hardly open my mouth to talk also...
a strange thing happen yesterday night..
a bit creepy to me..
not going to say out,
mostly people must be say that I'm dreaming..
but what i can said is.. i totally freak out yesterday night..
i seems like can feel it, although i cant see, but i really can feel it..
not to say feel..
i can sense that i touched...........
it feel so near to me, and.....
i don't wanted to continue it, since I'm going to stay another night at here, i hope this incident wont happen again...


what i had thought?
-the way i act recently is just to grab attention
-no one take whatever thing i said seriously
-no one listen to it/ see it seriously either
-I'm too fake
-if I'm dead now
-there are people beside me
-if i dare to do it


the stronger the person are, the weakest the person is also
the noisier the person are, the many hidden problem that person have
that person did not care, doesn't mean that person is mean/cold blooded
good people can be mean than the bad one

breathing

she tell me is the effect of caffeine,
but i think is the effect of thinking too much...

there are time i feel really guilty to everyone around me, for no reason
there are time i feel that I'm a bit insane, like a a mad people
am i really mad???
i think I'm not, cz mad ppl wont think that they are mad..
i still have the thought that I'm mad, means that I'm not mad


i don't know what more i can say
i wanted to say and type a lot of thing..
but when it is come to creating a sentence in verbal or oral..
i failed to do so..
so at the end,
keep it safely at my heart

they seems don't have any life problem at all??
or I'm the one who thinking too much..
think a lot of thing that are not important at all
a not very important thing become a important thing..
so at the end,
i become like this

I'm jealous of them
how i wish to have a life like them
a personality like them
people around them
everything bout them

people say,
after a rain, there will be a rainbow..
color your life, your everything
but the rain never stop, and it started to flood,
washing away all the thought that can keep me alive
now, pain is the only thing that make me feel that I'm still alive

people say that, they are very unlucky,
nobody listen to them..
but did u ever listen to people?
once? twice?
did you really listen it with your heart?

why?
how come, it sound not important at all???
or is that because, it really not very important...
so, nobody care

i thought i will be happier after i got to home
but the feeling is still the same
just like my room at there
the differences is,
there is no school homework and pressure

i thought i can breath better at here
but it seems to be more difficult,
in a room,
i feel suffocating
breath even harder, in case i will faint down here...

i shutdown or they shutdown?
why I'm always think of I'm the most miserable person in the world...
==''

don't ever emo in front of me,
don't judge me like u know me

the truth is
I'm the rejected one..
I'm the one people always forget
I'm the one ppl neglected


the only place that I'm being accept
is here....

don't comment anything bout this post
a post that have no plot
still finding a place where i can breath well

on the way back
i smile (like an idiot) while on the journey back home
feel so good




i had no picture to post..
but yet, i feel like wanna blog so much,
so i randomly choose some picture i snap...

addicted

the last picture is my cubie~~
still on progress of learning this..
it is so fun
and it help me to focus on a thing without thinking negatively
but it make me talk lesser.. since im too CONCENTRATE to solve this cubie..

haha
love it


just now done a stupid thing to my eye..
now my eye pain like hell....
==''
i hope it wont turn to red

dekstop background

wahaha...
too bored..

keep holding on

i don't know why..
recently i cant control my emotion...
a small matter only, i will suddenly feel wanna cry out..
i just keep hold on the tear..
wont let it flow..
but then i failed..
i rush to my room,
close the door
and cried alone..

i don't know what the heck is happening to me..
this is so different from the last me..
why I'm changing to this kind of people...

a lot of thing are really bothering me right now..
i cant find any reason for me to keep smiling..
even now,
I'm avoiding my housemate,
i locked myself at the room..
I'm afraid that i will suddenly cried out loud again..


darn..
i also have difficulty in breathing..
there are time, i nearly faint down at school
i cant breath..
keep holding on, so that i wouldn't faint down and give trouble to other..

i wanted to call home and tell my mum all the thing I'm suffering right now..
but i don't want them to worried bout me,
i wanted them to know that i can do it,
i don't want to disappointed them again..

am i too childish?
I'm too dependable on my parent..
i guess if i keep acting like a kid here,
i would never be independent..


what can i do?

when will it end??

tomorrow going to have an exam..
till now, I'm havent study anything,
all of the people i know really fight for it.....
i feel like I'm wasting my parent money at here...


somehow, i don't have the mood to continue it
maybe I'm too exhausted..
too tired of every single thing that I'm facing right now
i hate to see the sun rise
how i wish that the night will never end...





what the hell actually on my mind?
i found out that, i cant think rationally ever since I'm here..

I'm doing stupid act to hope my friend will look at me..
grabbing attention, maybe??
talking people bad things,
there is time,
I'm talking bout something that is not true
not related
no point

is this happen because of
I'm alone while actually I'm not
I'm thinking everything in a negative side..

people thought that i am very independent..
while actually I'm not
there are time i feel like give up,
give up everything....
the more i think if it, i feel suffocating...
i cant breath........



i just want to end this fast
and have a good sleep...



to my friend,
sorry for my bad behaviour..
sorry for complaining so many unnecessary thing in front of you
just ignore whatever thing i had say before

silent scream

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hate me, hate u

my friend tell me that
'no one will say thank you for whatever damn shit you have done
no one will appreciate your hard work'




you are just an idiot fucktard that act like you are so called 'clever'
but
in fact, you are nobody
a nobody that trying to be somebody
irritate every single people you've met




another you
you you you
are just lucky to be born 'pretty' or 'cute'
but at the end..
you think your cuteness will save you from everything?
erm.. maybe will..
because there is certain people might be crazy over the appearance of you
and
they never
NEVER!!! will care bout the ugly side of you
(steal line from my friend)

and the disadvantages of the ugly people like me....
based on my research from certain people

the quiet type:
will end up become a 'slave' to the pretty one
or will end up hiding around the corner where no one will notice you

the noisy type:
you will have lots of friends
but
if over the limitation, the outsider or the 'pretty' type will say bad thing bout you
'hiao po'

the average one:
this is too random, cant comment much on it..

according to my ex-workmate, mostly the not so pretty girl will end up become a 'slave' to the pretty one..
huh!!
according to a Q&A session with a guy, between a ugly and a pretty
he will choose to be friend with the pretty first..


the most dangerous animal in this planet is girl, woman, lady
because of jealousy,
there started the war....
war of gossiping,
war of backstabbing
war of stealing attention
war of comparing
(my opinion only.. don't sue me for this phrase)

but of course not every pretty girl are that bad.......
there are good type..
depends on how you see..
how come everyone is talking bout the pretty girl???
handsome guy don't have the topic??




well i think,
we don't have the right to do any judgement on people whether they are good or bad...
everything is depend on how you make a perception on it,
and different people might have different type of view


me myself have too many bad habit that I'm trying to fix it...
(i hate myself for being me)
(but im love myself for meeting all of you)

hate is always surround us,
we remember the hate, and the love will slowly leave us
and you never going to be learn to accept the people you hate

if,
we open our heart a little bit,
just accept that and understand them(might be hard)
wont it be a happier world?
peace!!

(im lost, dont know what am i typing through the half way)

am i weird?

at this moment,
how i wish that shin chan will transform to PooPooMan to save me

too many thing had happened,
is getting revealed, people may find out that actually i am not as good as i looked in reality
please don't take my blog post and compare it with me in the reality world
I'm not saying that I'm not real in reality

it is just that whatever thing that i write is based on the feeling i have during that day..
and it is PAST TENSE




no one really care at here..
you famous, or successful
people jealous
you drop down,
people laugh at you

trying hard to keep myself in low profile everyday,
but end up, the outcome of it..
it is not like what i had expected..
i miss those day where i can crap my heart out
and there is my bunch of best friend with me, laughing till the tear drops!!!


i don't know i had hurt how many people feeling at here,
different people from different country need to have a different type of communication skill?
i cant understand why i cant do that with them like i do with other people

am i weird?
love to ask this question to my friends
yea!! I'm totally a weirdo with my emotional changing..
haha.. i scare off some people at here,
they thought I'm angry with them,
dont worry, I'm not angry.....
I'm not upset...........
I'm just
EMO~ing
lol
XD





i miss my home
i miss my mum n dad
i miss my bed
i miss my pillow
i miss PL
i miss my tv
i miss my ego
i miss anson
i miss my bobby
i miss those day where food is prepare whenever i wake up
i miss everything back then but not now..
i guess this is what everyone going through right now...

Mayday五月天-放肆MV

wuhoooo~~
so high!!!
how i wish im the one sitting at the bicycle...
XD

i love Pepsi.. ngek ngek..

relieve

the only thing that i can say is
i feel so relieve.............
after talking to my friend
although talk crap, but at least she listen.....


in this world,
i think very less people can make me really laugh out loud or smile
not only that,
it is very hard to find some one who really want to listen to me
it is really hard for me to find someone for me to talk to

a lot of people which i talked to
but that is not the type of talk i want
a lot of people really make me laugh..
but that is not the type of laugh that i mean..

a simple talk, only need to borrow your ears,
just listen to whatever thing i want to said
a laughter that can relieve my pain, my stress, my sadness.......
a moment of laugh that can make me forget bout all the negative thought

people say blog can help reduce your unhappiness level,
but at the end.. i realize,
whatever unhappy stuff you write here
it did not help much
if compare to talking with some one





i love my bloggie song
listen to it

desperate

hmmm
an exam that tense me up for the whole day
stay awake for the entire night to study for this subject (but frankly say, i did not study anything)
when i arrive at school, there is a lot of people passing tips, an eventually, i started to study for the tips given..
and i was pretty lucky to have the tips...
and the tips is quite accurate..

suddenly i felt that I'm really stupid..
I'm adapting my older life again,
study at last minute and always depend on tips a lot!!
will i ever be improve with the study skill like this???



and then,
i feel that people is always teasing on me about how i act and how i look..
i don't know for them is a joke or what..
deep inside, of course i will feel pain..
TT
i am girl after all.....
and people treat me like I'm not a girl..
i tried not to think bout this,
but every time i meet with these people, i feel so embarrass to face them...


tell myself that is not important to change myself just to please other people..
i don't think it work anymore..
judgement on people at here is really high? i don't know wanna how to describe this..
i live in a town with no judgement on how u look, or your appearance,
yea maybe they will talk, but not directly in front of you..
they do comparison,
between me and she,
her attittude is worst than me, but just because she is beautiful and pretty than me,
so people think it is normal..
and me..
they will say that i looked like a BOY~~

they say to me like that
she tell me that
he tell me that
if one people is saying that, i will treat it like a joke..
but the problem is, everyone is saying that!!!


i don't know the point for me to post this post..
sad
desperate
did not have the mood to study
the pressure at here is really making me tenser and tenser each day passes...
i don't know whether i can survive at here or not...



at this moment if god really exists i really hope that god will bless me
clear all my mind
make my mind open a big wider
minimize all these negative thought...


write till the end,
i realize that appearance really important..
and that is how people judge on you, critics on you...
not saying that i cant accept judgement and critics,
please dont over the limitation

$%@$#$%

i typed an essay that full of grieving and complaining..
but i deleted it..
i said a lot of bad stuff of those who are closed to me
but i think this is the only my perception of thinking
other may said it is not truth if i post the blog out..
haha!!





'you deserve to have a boyfriend!!!
good luck...'

expected too much

I've been expecting too much on this...
everyday, i keep wander myself standing at a place that my parents will proud of..
and then say bye bye to the place I'm staying right now...
say bye bye to the fucking rush assignment that not even have been solve for any single subject..
(i hate group work!!! VERY MUCH!!!!!)
i cant work in a group, because I'm a dictator, i wanted everything to follow in my way.. but lazy to do anything..

i don't know is my problem or my group member problem..
how come we cant solve any single assignment in a discussion which is in more than 3 hour periods???
i cant really understand what the hell are we doing on that time..
the deadline is near, exam is around the corner,
I'm not even study anything,
the assignment thing started to make me sweat!!

whatever stuff that i promised to do last time, seems undone..
i forget everything i promised and back to that relaxing life again...
escaping from homework and played every single days..
i wasted my 1 month time doing nothing..
zz!! i see a lot of people around me, fight for it.. but i sleep for it
wonder how I'm going to survive...

where are you

oh dear~~
where are you??

please reveal yourself
my heart open for you...
you use to very close to me...
till you disapeared


oh!! where are you???
please show yourself to me..
i've been missing you so much
very much,
till i did not have the appetite to eat, to drink, to study
im thinking of you every single second..
wondering where have you been
wondering whether got people bullied you or not
wondering whether you cold or not


please show yourself
dont play hide and seek with me
TT
i really really care for you
i promise i will polish you till shine and clean (bling bling)
promise that i will not simply throw you..

please please please..
give me some clue where are you

8/7/09

nice??
hmmm.... look weird


this is the well known TC group,
you see the people crowded outside the hall, so damn creepy...
make me everyday have to early go to school..
later not enough seat, you have to sit in front with special chair...
do notice that other lecture hall are not as crowded as ours..


out of 31 members in my group, there is only 9 girls include me, and this is some of them..
i know im the ugliest among them.. TT
(deep in my heart, i still pray for something and hope it will happens.... two more days from now!!)


my housemates and me...
that guys are not included, he is one of my housemate BF
today is her birthday,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY~~
^^

i am friendly

last time i used to tease my friends
'you are over friendly, sometime friendly people can be hated by a lots of people'

i really started to believe that don't ever try to talk something bad bout people (actually is not bad, ermm gossip?) because, at the end, you yourself will end up becoming the type of people that you usually commented on..
did you get what i mean here???

OK forget bout it..
the main thing i wanna say is,
i becoming over friendly people? and some more is the type who talked a lot to unknown people..
like i know you for more than 10years

i used to say this to my friend.
but now, ended I'm being said by other people

erm.. if think back, sometimes..
the way i talked and acted is over creepy..
LOL???


excuses to protect me for being too friendly:

thanks to the 1st week of uni life,
1.i hate being alone,
2.i hate attend lecture classes like stupid where everyone have their friends and gang to sit together...

3.thanks also too all my friends,
i get to know of lots of friends,
my housemate degree friends (some marketing and BA students)
my best friend's friends ( foundation in differ stream)
my group mate friends, (foundation in differ stream)
one and two friend in my neighbourhood

sorry, I'm not trying to show off that i got lots of friends..
but then,
if last time, i wouldn't not do that..
i am a very superbly shy girl, where i only talk with unknown if my friends are around me.. if not, i will not even say hi...

4.thanks also to a friend who teach me a way to communicate with others when i first at here,
just smile to everyone...
humble and polite..


haha!!
my house mate said to me that i am over friendly..
i don't know how to describe it in english..
'hak yan zhang'

i tell myself that i will control myself,
but i cant...








at the end,
i want to appologize to my friend which i commented on her before..
keep on being friendly people..
good job!!
maybe you are the one who influenced me..
hahaha~~~~

random random

well~~ sorry for those who hate my face, i just love to start with showing my 'cute face'..
because i wanted to see back how stupid i looked in future... hahaha


this is a table that given free by our house renter...
OMG he is so generous><
so good


haha!! me and my precious..

it is so unlucky to have me as owner.. because im not good at keeping my stuff clean and tidy.. maybe in a year or two, it will have scratches whole over its body, some keypad maybe cant be press at all...


this table really suit my precious..
haha
if u can see the wooden table that looked kind of messy beside it
yes.. no wrong and no doubt,
that is my table..
haha!!
thats why i wanna conquer this table also..
my table have not enough space for me to put anymore item
really have lots of rubbish..
i cant understand why other people can keep their thing so nice, so well organized


a birthday present!!
the only i receive...... after the cake...
XD
from an unexpected person..
make me a bit guilty receiving it...
but thanks a lots



sorrieeee... i know this picture is ugly,
but i still wanna upload it.. haha..
my two housemate..
thanks to two of them that willing to hear my crap everyday..


actually, i wanna share with you all in this pic is the sunset..
because i lazy to move,
so the motor seems to became the lead in this picture..
that day, the sunset is really beautiful...



me and my best friend motor!!
nothing special, snap for fun


do this looked nice?
erm.. im trying to learn to be a 'artistic' photographer..
still L license..
LEARNING IN PROGRESS

feel

i feel want to eat but I'm not hungry

i feel want to sleep but I'm not sleepy

i feel want to study but i don't understand and don't know how to do

i feel want to shout but I'm lazy to talk or open my mouth

i feel so terrible but i don't know why I'm feeling so terrible




arghhhhh.....
i feel that i will be fell soon...
i should play less and study more, this is what i tell myself everyday, but i failed to do that...
what should i do?(close the comp and study)
what can i do?(stop whining and procrastinate)
what would you do?(laugh at me for wasting my time typing this blog)


OK.. study!!!!! i really will study for economic!!

烦烦的小小事

整个家的气氛都是闷闷的，
考试要到了，又有很多的功各必须要交。
所以我家的朋友们，全部都很努力的读书。
就只有我一个在傻傻的，
每天对着电脑 facebook~ing

看到全部人将努力，
突然觉得很怕，
是我太放松
还是我家的人在给自己压力？


这几天花钱真够力！
打算要给自己每天只能一个限定的钱。。。
又听说 mega sales 到了！
重来没去过，嘻嘻~~
这次要和我的新认识的朋友们去看看。。。



觉得自己一点女人味都没有，TT
跟他们比起，我好像很差，
他们的房间都是香香的，美美的，整整齐齐的。
而我的~~~（不必说了吧）




太久没看华语字了，
有很多事想分享出来，
但又想不到那个字是怎样写的，
应该有很多错字吧！！
我还是用回英文算了。。
哈哈

TT

1st month it seems to be very easy to pass..
until the 2nd month arrive...
i become so damm broke....
i cant even have sufficient money to survive for next week..
i guess i really spend lots of money,
i really control myself from buying food, its been a long long while i dint eat any fast foods.. i dint drink any carbohydrate drinks..
but yet, the money still flow out so fast..
imagine i spend almost RM100 for 7days.. i think it is quite over limit..
TT
i swear not to use money in the bank, but i really cant help it,
if i did not use the money, i guess i will be end up walking to school, sleep outside, arghh the rent is not even settle... and i still owe people around RM20..
TT

I'm sorry mummy and papa..
i really regretted with what I've done and what i spend and what i eat..
it feel so suck to live without money
now only i know money is important and every cent are count......




"i will control my spending and set a budget"

cooking day

haha..
today( i think in my entire life, can be count as the most hardworking day)
once i woke up, i go and wash all my clothes and socks..
after done all the laundry, i started to cook porridge..

huh...
my 1st time cook porridge.. end up making the whole house out of electricity,
because of my stupid ness..
but luckily everything become normal..
and i manage to cook the porridge also.. the taste is.. erm... ok.. not as good like my mum.. put too much expectation on it, thought can be more tasty like my mum porridge..
never mind, there is still got lots of time for me to improve my cooking skills..

sorry no picture for my porridge...

week 5

argh.. this is the week 5 I've been here, the time past so fast..
too fast!!
the faster the time past, the nervous i am..
the assignment are going to be passed up soon, but none of us in my group make a effort or try to settle the assignment.. I'm not going to blame, because, the truth is we don't know how to do!!!
I've spending some time just now writing some of the assignment alone, as a draft at least.. but my house mate said to me that it is wrong for me to do that, because it seems that i did not respect my other group member.. it sounds like im not trusting them or what..
and I've done all this will be quite dangerous for me.. because if anything happen, people will just put the blame on me, if the score is low, people will just blame me..
she have her points, but if i did not do this draft, i guess, we forever will stuck in the introduction lines!!
well at least if I've done this draft, we can together take this as an example to our tutor to correct any mistake that had been done...
but still, i don't even know what am i doing..

finally i found a girl that same age with me, but other people seems to have a shock to know that the girl is older than other.. while when they know that i am older than them, they seems like ok with it..
some even told me that this is a face problem..
zzz!!
arghhhh.. now only i know i look so mature and old.. TT
but at least my mind is still young right?

i realize that i got problem in communicate with other, and the eye contact i make,
i feel that i am so damn arrogant.. I've become so snob!!
what the hell am i doing.. this is so not me..
but then, i end up being this type of human..
so i am really really super sorry to those who i accidentally hurt you..
friend tell me to just be myself and don't care what other people think of me..
this is what happen if i become myself, i will totally make people pissed off!!
im not that goodie type people...
i think i turned to some one who wish to gained attention from other..
turned to some one who wish to be popular among the group..
i need to control myself..







trying my best to study the subject that i dislike
trying my very best to understand what ever the lecturer and tutor teach
trying my very very best to stay awake for all lecture class
i guess the most hardest thing to be done is
revising for exam

studying foundation make me feel that i am studying remove class

SS

i suppose doing tutorial question right now!!
started from 10pm till now, haven't touch any single question..
spend most of my time online~ing, download songs, sing songs...
arghhhh...
how am i going to survive with the study life at here...

then i realize, all the blog list that i used to follow suddenly deleted..
zzz!! what happened???????????
i tried to add back some of the blog i used to follow anonymously but it seems to be very lag and cant connected to the server..
forget it, settle it tomorrow since I'm not going back for this week weekend....

by the way, 1st time play with my laptop web cam,
snap quite a lot of picture..
haha!!!












well
i guess i am still actively SS~ing...
aahahahahahaha.....