I'm back again...
for a serious topic to talked to..
just now.. was a rush..
just to promote my SS pic =='''
just like what i told you the previous blog..
im watching taiwan drama..
sometimes...
i just hate drama..
drama is like..
creating a fake hope for other people to believe in..
and the thing is.. people do believe for it..
maybe this is what people live for..
living with fake hope..
this same happen to me..
although i knew it that things in reality would not be so wonderful like what we can see
but i just can help myself to fell for it...
where got such a beatiful convinience,
a girl will met up with a handsome and rich guy..
and then save her out of her miserable life...
maybe because that girl is good looking one and type of some one who can speak so good..
creating such a beautiful and meaningful sentences everytime she speak..
if the girl is an ugly and a fat one?
one without any fashion sense..
any IQ or EQ
a dumb and fat girl..
but met up with this type of guy.. will the guy fell for her???
drama are always faking up the life...
it is cruel, when we realize that..
we actually can't live a life like what we see on drama...
this is the reason i hate to watch drama..
as time passes..
the story getting more and more fake~~~
when he ask me bout it..
then only i realize..
sometime i can be quite invisible..
i know that person knew me.. and i knew that person too
but yet.. they would not look at me...
maybe this is my face problem..
or my attitude problem..
i am quite arrogant..
i think this is the limit i wanted to show it out..
im getting more and more arrogant after the holidays..
the way i talked..
sometimes, if think back..
i am quite cocky
the way i glance at people,
if think back..
i am quite snob..
><
[i need a change, sorry if i pissed you]
i knew i treated her so badly..
but i just don't know why i will treated her that way
i feel sorry for her
my body wanna make a move..
but it just cant move..
maybe all of this is just excuses for cover myself
but what for sure is..
I LOVE YOU, mum..
i never said that,
but doesn't mean that I'm not..
I'm just sorry
sorry is what i can say...
sorry that you have this kind of daughter that you cant be proud of
sorry that you have this kind of daughter that make you being critic by others..
just because of my attitude and personality..
I've try to change.. but
i just can't
i love you for accepted the way i am
i love you for being so kind to me
i love you for being able to patiently treated everyone of us patiently even though u being bullied
i just love you for being the way you are
i love you for being my mum...
and sorry..
please forgive me, for everything...
EVERY single thing that I've done and pissed you off before..
sorry for not being able to tell you all this in front of you
I'm a coward..
a jerk
that would not face my mistake..
even i knew I've done wrong...
talked about life..
life is unfair?
god? is this true they exist?
do they really help those in need?
from what i knew from the elder..
we cant blame the life we have right now..
not until we get old..
until we see through everything..
feel and try everything..
maybe it is true that, now you are suffering..
but doesn't mean that you will keep on suffering till the end....
there is actually a lot of path in front of you that might can change your life
the problem is..
you cant find a light to those path..
and you did not fight to find it..
therefore..
you stayed in darkness for the rest of your life
and that is the full stop of your story..
and other peoples will wave and said goodbye to you
have you every wonder..
that everything that you have today..
is you created your own based on your pass?
what i can said now is
"believe the tunnel can end
belive your body can mend
yeah, i know you can make it through
cause i believe in youu
so, let's go put up a fight
let's go make everything all right
go on take a shot
go give it all you got
oh yeah, i know it's not easy
i know that it's hard
no, it;s not always pretty
get up and go,
tale a chance and be strong,
don't look back just go,
take a breath and move on
or you can spend your hold life holding on"
(Go-Boys like Girls)
what i can do to change myself?
I'm getting lazier and lazier as each day pass
i sleep for the whole days..
even though a lot of people said that please wake up and be more energetic a bit
but i just can't do it
i rather spend my day..
laying at bed...
watching TV
or online~ing..
i also don't want to go out..
shopping for girls is like a LIFE
but for me..
i will feel so sicked every time i go to shopping..
i will headache
or start to cant have a good breath(like asthma attacking)
or sleepy...
i knew that a lots of friends is back..
i just lazy to make a move to go out..
even they asked..
i wanted to reject them..
but think back..
just go.....................
rather than staying at home..
being said by my parent for keep sleeping and sleeping and sleeping....
XD
ignore if you hate
accept if you love
reject if you pissed
love if you fall for it
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