testing testing

i wanted to test to upload some picture.
so i choos some picture i taken with my friends during steamboat dinner...

car show

a peaceful night..

finally

i wanted to update my blog for ages.. actually for only 3days like that staying alone really sucks, the sucks part is only the food i guess.. i did not mean that food at there are bad, just when i hunger, no one buy food for me.. (LOL? TT)
if my brother at there, i can tell him to buy for me, feeling so damn alone..
i guess if i updated my blog, all of it will be miserable dying pathetic whining~~
haha
but now i at home, so i think i wont post it up, just share some unforgettable memories,
the 1st day i got there, the modem died(amen, allehluyah) because of the stupid thunderstorm or because of my stupidness for not switch off the modem?
so that's why the whole days i at there is totally full with boredom.. i think my life will not be so bored if there is a connection for me to surf the net..

another think is a briefing days, i am so damn regretted for not listening to my brother to skip the whole orientation weeks... i when there at around 8.30am something and end up around 2.30pm,the whole time at there we are not given any break for food.. don't they have any brain? to let us at least eat something before listen to the stupid lecture(actually the lecture is good, just because of hunger, all i can see and listen is food)

i felt that i did not bring many important item to go, such as stationary and other stuff.. so this 4 days i at hometown, i will try to buy a lot of things to fill those missing part at my life there


( i need download lots of song, movies and games)

(i have a sleepless night)

leaving and departure

I've just got home from my study place..(i hate to mention out loud my study place, coz i don't want people know where is my location are right now).. i pack and 'transfer' all those needie stuff at there.. my dad bought me a desk(for study of course although i dint find it useful right now)
bought me a (i dont know is a plastic or what)cup~plastic.. a thing that looks like cupboard(for me to place all my stinky cloth, under wears and socks!! kaka must be very stink)
although my room is hot but i love it.. at 1st i tot is unfurnished, but it end up gt a fridge, water heater, and there got provide kitchen for me to cook..

by the way, i were surprise today.. an unexpected incident happen.. at 1st i thought is a joke, but my father bought me a laptop..(finally)
at 1st i aim for Dell, i done a lot of research of it.. but then end up using Acer which my brother keep said noob laptop(maybe the dealer gave him a fake window)
why end up buying Acer? because of the original provided..(most of the computer shop i went gave fake software and windows) and the main reason is the build in graphic card, i also dont know got what special because im not a gamers..
price is quite reasonable(im not going to tell either)
and the place i buy this laptop got provide me a free lifetime service..
i think is quite good, since im going to spend most of the time at there and its near, i no need have to take bacj to my home town if really wanna fix this comp
kakaka

ok stop talking bout my laptop..
what i wanna share here is my housemate..
the very first time i saw her, she is very lovely kind of girl, good looking..
but my brother said is like kanasai.. cz she look like me(==)
for some reason i felt that she is selfish, but at the same time, i think she is a good people, easy to communicate
kakaka..
hope we can get along wellm although we are not same room...

choice

from the start you have plan it all..
and then u asked me for my opinion
but my answer cant seem to pleasure u all the time
the expression of your face make me feels that you hate me..
are you regretting?
do i have the chances to speak what i really want and will you consider the things that i had said?
you believe him more than me, then what for you bring me to there?
what for you need my opinion?
what for you need me?

the things that will be owned by me, but i don't have the right to choose..
the things that involving me, but whatever things that i said you seems don't care at all..
the things i wanted, but you never remember compare to other..

everything that i said or voice out will be banned or you all just ignored it
sometimes it really hurt.. bot sometimes, is every time..

I'm invisible?
you cant see me?
you cant hear me?
if like this
then don't buy anything for me..
is like I'm forcing you to do so!!!!!!!

leaving and departure

argh.. my house are attacked with colony of ants~~
i think in my whole life, the most living thing i killed is ants
more than a soldier who kill enemies at wars. (amithaba)
oh the soul of ants, please don't come and find me..
haha

yesterday were quite fun an enjoyable day i had with my friends,
evening, i went to KFC with my buddies, sit and talked a lots of past times, it is so memorable and we laughed most of the time, since we are going to be separated from each other, i think i will missed that moment very much...
at night, i went to steamboat with my other buddies, although we dint chat much, coz most of time, we prefer to eat more than chat, but many funny incident happen..

i thought i lost the interest of talking, but when with them, i feel so good..
thanks~

thinking that i will be alone for 3 days really freak me out.. my first time to left the home for a long duration, some more is to stay alone, maybe I'm to dependent to my parents.. my brother will not accompany, still wondering how my housemate looks like.. i hope we can be a good friends since i heard alot of stories from my cousin bout her bad roommate..

two more days, i will be leaving and depart at other place, wish that everything will go perfectly...

do you care?

the truth is...
you talked bad bout people..
and people talked bad bout you..
and the cycle go on and on where there is no end of it..
erm.. yea, there is an end, where people found out, you talked bad of them and you found out people talked bad bout you..
and there started the argument..
which mostly people wont admit their fault including yourself.. you think that what people had judge bout you is ridiculous.. is not true at all..
explanation is just an excuses to cover the untrue thing
sometimes what you think of yourself ain't necessary right, we have to believe on other people eyesight and judgement also..
what make people so hate bout me?
I'm a bad tempered, selfish jerk.. there is so many imperfect stuff of me..

i don't care~~
yea.. this phrase is easy to talk, but am i really don't care of it?

by the way, now only i know that people around me which i feel close are making use of me.. which what my brother tell me from the start..
they said that they are close to us (we have BOND) but we dint make any effort to tighten our relationship.. sometime i kind of sick and fed up to deal with this kind of relationship, i try my best to make our relation good..
but then, are you all really care of us? when trouble come.. we are always the unknown, we are always the stupid people who get the news from other people, we get the blame for everything which is not true..
when there is any good stuff, we also is the last or sometime we dint know at all, is you all who ditch us from every single stuff that happen in your life..

this make me wonder will you help me when trouble came to me.. i think nope.. this will not happen, coz when trouble really happen, you are not here... you don't even gave a damn bother of what is happening to us..
we are just part of entertaining in your life.. a stupid clown..

i know our background is not good compare to you all.. we are stupid and poor people..
until i found it out.. it make me feels that you all really dint care it at all..
just forget it..

梦想永远只会是一个梦想

omg, they release another new track!!
yea is mayday..
kind of like this song from first without listening the lyric..
coz it sound so fun..
then i read the song lyric.. wow.. another meaningful song.. feel like saluting 阿信, how can he think of lyric to suit this song..
trying to search this song without DJ version which im listening right now..

放肆 - 五月天
作词：阿信
作曲：怪兽

就放肆爱放肆追 放肆去闯 放肆是我的信仰
再不去闯 梦想永远只会是一个梦
想太多忧伤太重的梦想 还不如干脆不多想
每一个身后的浪 都会有浪花绽放
我确定边冲边欣赏
如果要我们都活在地上 偏偏我就想要飞翔
要挣脱命运捆绑 要推翻玻璃围墙
要站上巨人的肩膀
梦想永远是逆向 一路都有人阻挡
人们说的荒唐 却是我的心中的天堂
就放肆爱 放肆追 放肆去闯 放肆的大闹一场
不能原谅 如果很多年后我还是这样
就放肆爱放肆追 放肆去闯 放肆是我的信仰
再不去闯 梦想永远只会是一个梦想
哥伦布只要有一颗星光 就胆敢横越大西洋
我还有一把吉他 我还有一群死党
为什么还不大声唱
达尔文假设生命是战场 就让我轻易不投降
把伤痕装满手掌 把不顺装满心脏
把歌声装满肺活量
梦想永远是逆光 只有坚硬的模样
会有什么世界 什么体验 不要去猜想
就放肆爱放肆追 放肆去闯 放肆的大闹一场
不能原谅 如果很多年后我还是这样
就放肆爱放肆追 放肆去闯 放肆是我的信仰
再不去闯梦想永远只会是一个梦想 ~
再不去闯梦想永远只会是一个梦想

dream is just a dream if we dint chase for it..
( i wanted to type in chinese so badly but my comp dint have the programme)TT

hold it

ok.. now only i realize, being good people cant satisfied everyone(not me)
an example is that there is a bad people and good people...
when a bad people did a bad thing or something.. everyone will not take it as big deal..
but when a good people did something or say something bad just once!! ONCE, people will started to say bad bout this good people....
ok maybe the way this good people express the bad thing is a bit over, so people can accept it?
(this is just an example, I'm not trying to said that who is bad and who is good, i have a poor usage of english, so i dont know want how to describe this story, so the character i use is good and bad)

i don't know why, maybe it's been a very long time i dint spend time with my friends, Ive change since i work for 4 month..
I've interacting with my workmate more than 8hours a day.. so, we played a lot.. and talked a lot too..
we are not the simple nice way of talking, we shooting ad teasing each other, in a very mean way, very MEAN.. and we act it as a joke and no one keep this joke in heart..
maybe i adapted to this kind of communication style.. so the way I'm talk will be a bit harsh..
and now, when i started to talked with my friends, i have to think twice whether will hurt their feeling or not.. sometime i just cant hold it and pop~~~ it outs..
i don't know it firstly then i think back(yea talk to my friend i usually think back what i had said) they are not my workmates, and guiltiness started to twistering in my mind, should i apologize( of course not, because I'm not that type of human who will said sorry to other)

why i need to think twice wheni talked with my friends?
is because im too care of what they think of me. im not willing to hurt or break our relationship... that all



sometime i just miss my workmates...
miss the time we played and teasing each other...

my hair!!! T.T

just had my hair being mow...
suppose to said cut.. but, but...
i cant continued to talk bout my hair..

the hair cant suit my face
the face cant suit my hair
the hair cant suit along with my spec
the hair cant suit my head
then the head cant suit with my bodies
what i can said is it looked so weird

every time i had my hair cut.. i wont see myself in the mirror..
feel so disgust looking myself in the mirror~~
there is a moment i think to buy a wig to wear.. so damn short..
how am i going to start my new life with this hair!!!
argh.. regretted cutting it into so short..
hopefully the hair will grow long soon..

how am i suppose to face people tomorrow?
my last day will end up disaster, being laugh by my workmates..
haih~~~~~
i look like a nerdie right now.. TT

INDIAN DAY

i read some blogs of unknown just now...
i was like~~ stare with my blank mind for some second when i started to read it..
i knew the blogger is smaller than me, and they wrote extremely high level of English..
(my standard are quite low)
i cant even understand a single sentence of the blog..
i think it is kind of over to me..
some of the sentences can use simple English, but the writer used a lot of complicated word..
it make me wonder, do the writer refer to a lot of dictionary before the writer type or the word just pop up in minds..
or I'm the one who still need to refer dictionary?
:P

by the way..
these few days.. the town are loaded with lots of Indian..
i don't know where the Indians came from... some maybe from nearer housing area around our town.. or far er..
but..
there are quite a lot of indian that came from India..
i dont know whether is India or Bangladesh cause they look almost the same(sorry, not intend to upset anyone)
and most of them, suppose to said is everyone of them don't know how to speak in Malay or English.,
because of that, i have to learn simple Tamil or Hindu language, to easy my work...
haha.. i don't know whether my pronounsation is correct or not.. but they seems to understand and talked back their language with me?
erm.. i don't know wanna how to reply them back because i only know to said

pa te veli=rm10
an ji veli=rm5

and i just said..
pate veli ok... anji veli i lek...
if you duwan then BO(go away)


hohoho... nandir nandri(thank you thank you)

BigBang Feat 2NE1 - Lollipop

Lollipop
Translated some of the lyric to english
source from youtube

Lolli Lolli Oh Lollipop
Lolli Lolli Oh Lollipop

Nah, that's not how we do it
Lolli Lolli Lollipop
Oh you're my Lollipop
Lolli Lolli Lollipop
Oh Lolli-Pop-Pop
Lolli Lolli Lollipop
Boy you're my Lollipop
Lolli Lolli Lollipop

Lolli Lolli Lollipop
come to me sweetly
Lolli Lolli Lollipop
whisper to me
Lolli Lolli Lollipop
come to me freshly
Lolli Lolli Lollipop
i want you
Lolli Lolli Lollipop
girl you're my lollipop
Lolli Lolli Lollipop
oh Lolli-Pop-Pop






i love the mv..
so colourful..
i love the song beat although im not so sure what korean are singing..
but for sure is bout lollipop love~~
XD

im not good?

ok..
i try to learn to point out other ppl mistake.. maybe the way i try to express is quite erm.. how to said? more to protect my own advantage?
so that why people hate me now...

since then i realize that i better keep my mouth shut and just let it be the way they wanted to..
this is other people life and attitude, what for they have to change just because I'm not satisfied with whatever things they had done? who am i?

i think I'm not good, not perfect..
keeping myself in low profile making people felt that I'm good only...

but then,
me myself cant accept critic from other people, will other people accept critics by me?

全世界都停电

nice song by TANK..
haha love it..
cant wait for his new release album~~


全世界都停电 - Tank
作词：姚若龙 作曲：Tank 编曲：洪敬尧

连你都会残忍隔绝
我的心能要谁了解
眼中烛光摇晃着熄灭
为何把我推向边缘
被砸坏了的一切
卡住了我让我无法往前
囚禁在距离笑声最远的房间
单独隔离 寂寞地盘旋
全世界都停了电 全世界都封了街
我所有窗子外面 被贴上黑夜
我呐喊思念 却没人听见
绝望到极点剩的是疲倦
全世界都停了电 全世界白雪满天
才发觉在我心间 有回忆碎片
一作梦翻身 就刺痛流血
我卷着身体缩成一个圈 像一个句点
连你都会残忍隔绝
我的心能要谁了解
眼中烛光摇晃着熄灭
为何把我推向边缘
被砸坏了的一切
卡住了我让我无法往前
囚禁在距离笑声最远的房间
单独隔离 寂寞地盘旋
全世界都停了电 全世界都封了街
我所有窗子外面 被贴上黑夜
我呐喊思念 却没人听见
绝望到极点剩的是疲倦
全世界都停了电 全世界白雪满天
才发觉在我心间 有回忆碎片
一作梦翻身 就刺痛流血
我卷着身体缩成一个圈 像一个句点



the world black out...
no one can see the tear flowing...
no one cant see if you are smiling...
just can feel it..
what will you do if the world is black out?
sleep la!!!! hahahaXD

it is all my fault

damn it...
i am so stupid
i am so careless

how does it feel to lost such a big amount in a day?
50? 80?
for some of you maybe you think I'm whining for some amount that is not important?
sorry... 80 really means a lot too me..
have to work for 3 days to earn it back...

damn it...
in my whole life.. this is the first time i lost such a big amount of money, some more is sending it to an unknown with my own hand...

after the incident, i stunt for at least 10 minute, then only i start sms my friends for help..
some ask me to call this person, but i think no use also, since I'm not using the same line with this human.. how this human going to pay me back? come to my shop and return to me? if you are the human, sure would not do it also...
so i decided not to call this human, and i thinks is not right to ask my friends to help me eat this amount up...

again, when i call for help, there is one guy said.. 'you lost your money whats wrong with me?'
but from first is i call for help, and U reply me 5 hour late? and you instead wan me to tell the story out...
i just said i need help.. not ask for anything..
maybe I'm too selfish thinking that time..
so i decided not to disturb my friends, is all my fault


anyway, thanks for helping me
doesnt need to pity me cause this is my fault

i am free?

am i look that free to you?
i hate it when people say that

'ask your daughter lar, she seems so free with nothing to do'
and when i reply back
'bo eng'(not free)
you dare and said back to me
'what big business you doing?'

damm you...
i just got one hour break time, i cant stand with your ridiculous requests,
go and buy kopi o peng for you to drink?
ya i know is near..
you said i got big business? your son is so damm free, no need to work, facing comp..
that is counrry big business? you cant call him to buy and bring it for you?

you think one hour is very long ar?
i have to eat like half full only then quickly go bath
even time for me to go toilet pangsai also dint have..
you dare say me back that i got big business to do?
oh please la.. i give you face that you are my uncle only..
if not i sure shoot your stupid son 996

another thing is a stupid aunty..
dare to said to my mum..
'call your daughter go TF buy la.. she so free also no need do work'
this really make me wanna fuck her la..
you so free sitting and tralk crap with my mum why dun you go buy yourself?
i just come back from work and hope to spend my time take a nap awhile also got fault ar?
you try and became me and see..
sit awake for 10 hour..
your job is so damm free and you cant go buy yourself and ask me who doesnt have any BLOOD relationship with you to buy things? some more so damm far...
even my mum also never ask me to do that before...
i also give face to my mum only since you are her friends


p/s:actually im not dare to scold them.... ==