why 为什么？

still don't understand why?
why?
you are asking me why?
i also don't know why and don't know how to answer you why
wishing that i can answer the WHY
why the why is so bothering
why i cant find a solution for the why
why the why keep asking me why
how am i going to overcome the why
can i fix the why..

thinking a lot,
confusing
heart is torn into many pieces
cant find the right path
i cant see the light or 'door' of my future
what am i going to do actually?

am i making the right decision?
I'm thinking a lot sound stupid?

i should face the reality as u all said,
but i cant
i just cant
i wish i can


为什么？
到底为什么？

已经知道是知道要走这条路了
为什么心情还是觉得闷闷的

脸上带着了假笑容，
面对所有的事情都觉得很辛苦，
很难很难。

还是觉得自己很失败
我还不能够接受

口口声声说得好像很大不了酱
其实我还是很难过

我还很烦
我到底该往哪条路继续走啊！


because of you
i make a decision to live on
see~ing you suffering everyday to grow me up

曾经有想过要离开这个世界
因为你，决定活了下来
竟然以前已经决定了
所以就要为了你而跟勇敢的活下去！！

using your money that you earn
make me feel that I'm so useless
i don't want to let you see as a useless
suffering day and night
just to forming who am i today
keep broking all my promises that i make
will i be able to make it this time

i hope i can be just like HIM
every word that came from his mouth really hurt, but is true
finally i understand after so many year
reality sucks
i will remember all the thing you said to me
thank you for supporting me...


对不起，
我说不出口
希望你能感得到
真得很抱歉，我无法成为你想象中的人
对不起！

i swear..
i will...
我会~

[finally i cried after so many day]
[i just wanna hide in a dark side, so nobody would notice my pain]
[wearing a fake mask to cover all the sadness in front of other ppl]
[i will continue it]

don't worry i wont suicide.. ^^

法克这个人 - 萧闳仁

听了一首歌
满好听的

萧闳仁---〉法克这个人

其实我只是喜欢其中一段的歌词而已

“你的生命不会像cs一样
怎样 死了都还可以继续“

这首歌都好像再说我（我觉得啦）
每天都发白日梦~
期待一些不可能发生的事情

现在了解，
很多事，如果不努力去做，
那么，我永远都回流在回忆里面~



[这首歌的开头就是对白先]
ㄟ!法克现在不知道 在 干嘛耶
我管他勒
明天就要考试了耶
啊!管它的
他一天就是要睡25小时拉
ㄟ!我看还是Call一下他好了拉
好啊!你打看看啊~
喂~哪位 法克
你在干嘛 没有啊
你有没有在看书啊
明天就要考试了耶
喂~喂~喂
法克这个人 - 萧闳仁


电视没关就在睡觉
漫画店里又来催缴
你活像抓狂一族主角
整天看美国英雄电影
对着镜子试试超能力
我想你真的相信奇迹

你 是不是
想像那蝙蝠侠他带着面具
打败小丑然後开着跑车
他赢了美女
还是想像魔兽世界里的HERO
打败兽人唱着 We are the world
但是 你知不知道
你的生命不会像cs一样
怎样 死了都还可以继续
你的青春也不会像 世界帝国的城墙
盖了又倒倒了又盖 别再臭盖醒醒吧!

法克 U 现在不要鬼叫
法克 U 你不要给我邋遢
法克 U ㄟ!你休想上吊
法克 U 有朋友在你免惊
法克 U ㄟ!你还在睡觉
法克 U 你不要给我邋遢
法克 U ㄟ!你休想上吊
法克 U 我知道
年轻就是要不顾一切去冒险
才不会到老了 自己才在後悔
趁着地球暖化之前 我能做些什麽
还有时间 我自己许的预言
法克 U 现在不要鬼叫
法克 U 你不要给我邋遢
法克 U ㄟ!你休想上吊
法克 U 有朋友在你免惊
法克 U ㄟ!你还在睡觉
法克 U 你不要给我邋遢
法克 U ㄟ!你休想上吊
法克 U 你知道 我知道
我知道
年轻就是要不顾一切去冒险
才不会到老了 自己才在後悔
趁着地球暖化之前
我能做些什麽 还有时间
我自己许的预言

[后面也是对白]
喂~喂
我是法克 ㄟ!法克
我知道 你们都很关心我
也很担心我的事情
ㄟ!对
不是 我不听你们的
我自己想做的事情
我会自己搞定
你们不用担心

法克 法克
打他,ㄟ!干么啊
天亮啦 起床了啦 要上学了啦

歌词很乱吧！
自己去download听听^^

看得开

把眼睛张开，发现原来在世上有很多很美好的东西

我看
我该学习，
面对
勇敢
接受


不要再想太多了，
用另一方面来看，
可能不会比较难过。

过去的就让它过吧。
人重要往前看，往前走。

在继续呆在过去
也不会改变任何事实


就让我这次的失败，
当作我以后的力量来提醒自己不要再次的失败！


[真希望有奇迹出现]

我会记得！

今天你对我做的事！
我会永远都记得！！
丢下我一个人！！！

我不会忘记这个感觉

看的太高

I'm looking too high on myself..
i thought i can, but i realize i cant..


this is the 1st time i realize that im totally fell down, im giving advises to my friends, but im afraid i will be the one who cant stand up..
the spirit suddenly had flew away from my body, i cant search for my soul

i finally can understand the feeling of failure
it's hurt
its sucks
its feel pain..

i realize it know..
i feel totally lost now..
why some people are so happy with their future
and I'm so frustrating about it for no reason

thank you for those who giving me fake hope.. at least i can happy for awhile..

what am i going to do?

我？？？

i am superb extremely OK
i have no MENTAL PROBLEM
i am normal and can think well.....
i am NORMAL

好悲哦

is been two day...
what I'm doing this two days?
erm... i think a lot of thing bout what I'm really want to study..
there is no hope for me to enter local university, but deep inside my heart, i still hope that there will be miracle happen...
for me, I'm really happy with my result.. at 1st, i thought i will failed at least a subject.. luckily i passed all.. but a D for me is failed..
what can i say more... I'm the one who did not want to study, playing all the time.. ignoring the fact that I'm getting older...

but then, is OK..
after arguing with my parent...
small discuss with my friends
deep thinking of my own
i decided..
to study...
information and communication technology courses..

hmmmm.. maybe you think that i cant study this kind of hard subject..
but i will try harder.. improve myself each day..
promise to myself to study even harder..
suddenly i found back the spirit to study..
the spirit i cant felt when i were in form6...

now only realize all this~~~
study foundation again...
ahhhh

好悲哦

不要给我压力！

我想告诉我的亲爱的亲戚们，
请
你们！！

不要
放太大的希望在我的成绩！
我并不聪明！！！
我也不会考的很好~
我是上不了大学的！！
我的未来是在kampar!!!
所以呢，你们要讲什么都可以。我就是那么笨的啦！！
我自己也没放太大的希望。因为我知道自己的能力，也知道为什么会考到酱差！
那是因为我都没读书.

所以！！

不要给我压力！！
我的脑不像你们的孩子那么厉害！！
但我还是要谢谢你们的关心~
就酱罢了

失去方向~

这几天我都一直在想，拿了成绩过后的我要怎么办？
如果成绩不好，我该做些什么？
做工？是啊我要做，但要做什么？继续留在电话店打工仔？还是要到外面去看看世界？
我的路该怎么走啊？
到底要向右还是向左~
我还有路可以选吗？

等待真可怕！！ 可以令人胡思乱想。
但想太多也没用啦
算了。不要再去想太多了

怕？

下个星期STPM成绩就要出了。。（不知道是真还是假的，都是朋友告诉我）
没想到时间过的酱快。 可能是做工的关系吧，时间过的超快。
怎样？朋友们应该会很担心吧！
我呢？
成绩发了之后，我就不再是个高中生了（两年前就不是啦！）
长大了。。 好恐怖哦，
以前小时后，每天都希望能够快快的长大，
长大了，想法也变了，还很怪自己没在小时候作一些大胆的事情（可以留下一些好回忆嘛）
怪以前没好好的读书，现在要追回所读过得都很难（懒）

所以呢，这次的考试成绩无论是好还是坏（应该是坏吧？）
我都能接受。（觉得自己大了，跟我同岁的朋友，想法差好多好多，可能学会了把东西看得比较简单吧）


可能会被别人讲
可能会被别人骂
可能会被别人笑
可能自己会很伤心
可能会后悔
可能会怕

该做得都做了，现在要改回也不可以啊！
所以怕也没用，怎样也要去面对。

学会接受
学会勇敢吧！

question

what do you think is the most suffering thing in life???

well for me is..
stomachache but you cant find the toilet.... zzzz!!!!
i just felt it just now.. rushing home like hell...

bad day

today is my baddest day of the year~~~
what happen?


1st
i nearly being crashed by a car early in the morning.. my fault.. speeding too fast and not concentrated on road while driving.. luckily the car dint honked me~~ if not I'm sure get panic and fell on road.. the situation is quite dangerous...

2nd
after i park m motor then i happily went to work~~ then on the time which near to my rest time.. suddenly started to rain heavily.. at first i thought i will be whole wet when I'm going home.. but luckily the rain stop!! (quite lucky?) then i start to search for my motor key.. fuh... search the whole shop.. but found nothing... so run to my motor there, afraid my motor disappeared.. the key really at my motor there.. luckily nobody notice and bring it home... fuh~~


3rd
i keep this key thing secret as i go home... then i went home.. and after i finish my stuff, my aunt bring me go to work.. but she have to go buy food for her family at a restaurant.. after arrive at the restaurant~~ (erm i don't know how to explain the what happen actually things happen too fast) so in conclusion.. i fell down the motor~~ and my leg stick alot of oily stuff(i don't know what is the oily thing it is just disgusting stuff)~~ what the heck!! what the!!! i just bath~~~
arghhhh!!!
with my leg all oily, although wash a bit, still feel uncomfortable.. have to go work~~~



4th
I'm working with my oily leg~~ finally can go home.. but my father haven't come..
=='''
I'm totally tired and damm hungry~~
wish to go to KFC to buy some chic to make myself happy.. but then my father dint bring his cellphone along.. afraid he will worried if i suddenly disappeared.. arghhh forget bout KFC.. just go home and drink milo~~

what a day~~~

new car

a friend told me that her friend's dad bought him a car..
and that guy doesn't even enough age to take car license yet..
cant say that guy rich.. just can say that his dad really care for him..

am i jealous? well that's for sure!! i just got my car license...
and my house car already seems so old and seems enough time to say bye bye..
i tell my mum once to buy me a car.. my boss going to sell his car with quite reasonable price.. and that car really is the type i like too..
Proton Satria... my boss say that he change the engine and the gear box thing.. then the car sit changed like sport car.. and the speaker!! the most interesting part.. hahaa.. i wish to own a car that can blast their speaker until outside also can heard it.. although is kind of noisy. but i love it.. talk till the end.. the car is whole set modified which really make me wanna own it

and for sure.. my mum said NO!!
hmm.. i understand, we can afford to do so...
people like us.. cant be like the little kid out there, where their parent bought them a new car.. we have to work hard if we really wanna own something..

but that's a good thing also actually. at least i can have a little ambition..
an ambition to let me keep work hard
things that we get of our hard work
we appreciate most...

(for those who own car.. please don't take it so serious.. I'm not trying to say you all rich)


i sure will work hard next time in future...
for my ambition that i wanted fulfill
not just car.. there are something that i really wish for..
I'll tell it next time^^
(money is everything~~)
(learning to save money~~ i swear i will do it!!)

do you?

do you still remember the 1st friend you made in life?
do you still be friend with him/her?
=I've forgotten the 1st friend i made... and i have no idea who is the one at all=

do you remember when is the 1st day you met your best friends?
=i remember!! some is during kindergarten, some is during primary school, and some is after i enter form6=

do you remember when you started addicted into music or other stuff?
=i remember!! when i enter form1 only i slowly step into the music world.. and when i got into the net world~~ I'm totally obsess with it=

do you remember when is the last time you cry?
=i forgot!! too long dint cry out loud because of sadness=

do you notice your own mistake and try to fix it?
=mostly i will notice it after I've done the mistake, but i seldom will fix it back since the mistake is already made, no point for me to fixed it back=

do you remember when is the last time you really laugh out loud happily?
=yea.. just done it yesterday=

do you really happy with your life?
=maybe=

do you lied/cheated before?
=a lots=

do you regret with what you had done last time?
=no point to regret it back, since the thing had pass.. i will try not to make myself regret in life next time=

do you wish to turn back the time?
=sometime i wish that i can die quickly=

hmmm.. who is the 1st friends i made? that really bothering me~~~

flash back of 2008

huh..
too bored, so i looked back at my phone photo that i had snap for last year~~
really bring back lots of sweet memory~~
somehow i just remember the good thing that happen last time with all my friends.. there are just too many little thing that happen last time and now only i realize how sweet is it...
hmmm..i feel touch when i view back.. don't know why~~
maybe i just miss the day we have together~~

washing car for teacher days~~ remember at the end all the ppl tired, who want to wash under the hot sun!!!









these is funny picture that i took during sport day 2008
everyone trying to act cool... haha












look back felt stupid!! these is YOUTH!!! haha























these pic really make me smile~~
there is still alot more pic that i had taken.. but i better not post it out.. some really XXX~~ haha.. friends sure scold me for took it without their acknowledgement.. ugly la~~~ hahaha
(actually i lazy to upload~~)


anyway~~ i hope all of you are happy
take care~~
good luck with whatever stuff you all are doing