开工大吉

还真的很吉

老板给了一封很大的红包

三数目！还比我想象的三数目还要大！

真的很好意头的数目 ^^

老板开始给我做一些比较有关于公司的小小的大事

又在开始慢慢的学习中

一切都很顺利…

谢谢老板对我的好

也要谢谢同事姐姐对我的好

还真的遇到很多贵人帮助 :)

不知不觉，

四个星期已过了

我也开始慢慢的适应一切的不习惯

漫漫的接受，

漫漫的喜欢，

这里的一切…

每早，

漫漫的走去公司，

享受着早上的美…

喝着热热的 teh tarik

观察人们忙碌生活…

有时，不知不觉的笑了

可能已不再担心一切的担心

努力的不去想一切不可能发生的悲哀

努力的去做好今天

就这样的

笑了 :)

买了个手表

超级的爱它

有一种久久的感觉

找他找了很久很久~

有三年没戴手表了

最近

好吃好住

我胖了

真的要开始吃少一点点

i remember when i was a teenagers, my peers use to laugh at my short fingernail

which looks like mangkuk or bowl..

while theirs looks like wine glass...

now when i grew up

i grew it long long like vampire's nail

and now, i can have wine glass nail

and bowl nail, which you can't have it :P

when i cut my hair short,

i look fugly~

nobody wants to be friend with me

confident low low

and it teach me lot's of stuff during that period

now the hair is longer now

and im happy happy

the confident up up a bit bit

is been awhile i never self snap my own picture,

and it feels weird posting own picture at facebook...

argh!

bossie say i work for the same thing over a week

and in the end cant provide any solution/recommendation/documentation or result

Orz

i felt bad but in the progress of learning..

at least, i understand a bit bit more than last time(i guess? Orz)

lots of time i was thinking,

if they were here, things will be easier..

they can help me solve it while i can sit back and order order

LOL maybe due to this,

i had a super hard time learning now...

working make me miss studying so so much :(

i miss all my friends so much :(

i want to meet with them and share with them all my problem!

i wanna tell them i learn lot!

i want to share with them

laugh with them

bully them

bluff till morning with them

working on school event together with them...

go to school with them..

i miss going to school,

i miss sleeping at lecture hall..

i miss stalking everyone in school...

i miss skipping class to have lazy afternoon nap...

i miss napping T^T

i miss nasi lemak..

i miss the rainny night market..

and i miss kampar!

i felt relieve with the choices i make now

those doubt that affected me earlier is slowly disappearing,

things that i think is good from the start end up not really good

but things that i think is bad from the start turn up to be something i like and been keep pushing me forward till now ^^

i feel blessed (but i still want to complained! :P)

direction to move up more stage is still blur,

but

i saw chances in front of me,

chances tell me that those are opportunity

opportunity told me lots of effort needed in order to climb to them

im climbing..

im climbing slowly slowly and hopefully the opportunity is still there and open more chances for me!

from those chances, i hope can find my direction toward the light!

each path will lead to success,

even if you failed, you still gain something in the process...

so i'm trying to move on...

digging treasure..

wanna write how how hard i feel during this first week

so that, i can compare it again after i finish my internship

so here it goes

on 1/1/2012, i landed ( or should i say i stepped?)

in a city

a city which is different from my hometown

big? crowded? full with car? the road is big and twisting from one end to another end?

anyway, i will caught into Ipoh for few month to undergoes my internship

i should have feel blessed

i have relative that stay nearby, who will come to me if i'm in any trouble..

i have boss and colleague that never look down on me as i'm not clever or good in stuff that they good with, they willing to spend time to teach me..

sometime i feel ashamed of myself for not learning all those basic/fundamental of everything better at school

in a week, i realize how tiny i am,

how weak i am

how stupid i am =.=

yeah.. i regretting now for not studying all those thing in school good

and my boss need to re-teach me again..

it hurt my pride, but nvm

it hurt now better than in future...

the first week of my internship,

it felt as if i am really working,

stepping myself into the society....

it felt good when i'm in the office

but it isn't when i'm not in the office....

i am totally alone!

yeah, i'm living with a renter

a renter that shut herself in the room,

we only communicate in the morning as she is very good to fetch me to her workplace which is much more nearer for me to walk to the office compare from the house.

but then, she is weird..

maybe my aunt keep influence me saying this lady is weird which somehow manipulate me and making me thought she is weird..

maybe because she is a professor in medic college, which making me fear of her as she is quite strict and will scold people..

she is a lady which is very different from the aunty i meet back then in the hometown..

but other than that, she is good..

maybe is my problem..

when im back to the home

the only thing i can do is sleep

or watch drama..

it felt as if my life is completely empty

i feel lonely,

i think a lot of stupid thing

will i really be alone for the rest of my life when i grew up in future...

this feeling is kinda sad...

the first two night i'm here really making me wanna cry out...

friends all have their own difficulties to encounter everyday,

i should not have burden them with my problem..

it is not their problem..

yeah.. this is the problem i wanna solve

i wanna fix from myself

i want to learn to be independent..

the process is hard T^T

is hard to live without friend but i have to try hard hard to live alone...

what kind of theory is it? =.=

well nvm,

i guess those emo emo feeling will just pop out from no where since im living alone...

i will type lots of sad and unimportant essay and post regularly in here.. =.=

and then, i guess i will have communication problem,

since i'm here,

i rarely laugh

i rarely talk what i want to talk for more than 50sentences or maybe lesser than 25 =.=

sooner i will become loner and forget how to talk..

Orz

i am such a loser~

i never tell anyone especially my parents this

when they ask, i will tell them i am completely fine,

friends are treating me very good~

don't worry about me,

i am okay

i am fine

sigh

in fact

i am worry about myself

i am not okay and i don't know what i'm not okay with and what i not okay with is okay or not

i don't know

but i just don't want them to worry about me..

Orz

i complained a lot.. =.=

am i doing the right thing?

what i'm doing now is it the best choice i can choose now?

sigh

this question had been bothering me

am i making the right decision of choosing the path for becoming what am i today?

all those question that i keep questioning myself is it indicate that i am regretting now?

my biggest problem..

i don't know how to communicate with people regarding my problems

the truth is

i'm scare

i'm sad

lots of thing keep twisting in my brain and i feel sick of it

i feel like crying now T^T

what can i do?

what should i do?