I Want?

OK my blogging mood is back...

feels like wanna update each hours whenever there's a things on my mind..

just because i forget easily,

that's why i like to write out everything i want at here..

start it with something that entertain me..

MUSIC!!!!

I'm really addicted to Korean songs..

sound so stupid listen to songs that nobody will listen

erm.. nobody here means my friends...

i have very little friends who same the same passion as i am...

they thought listening to those kind of music which they don't even understand is craps [for certain ppl]

so most of the time..

i listen and SS alone..

this doesn't stop me from loving K-pop~~

The Korean

• 2PM - Tik Tok, HeartBeat, Tired of Waiting, Again n Again and etc..
• Big Bang - Lollipop part 2, Lollipop, Stylish, CottonCandy and etc...
• SuJu - SorrySorry, SorrySorry Answer, SeoulSongs, DiscoDrive, SuperGirl and etc...
• SNSD, Kara, 2AM, LoveHolic, Mblaq, SS501, Shinee, Brown Eyes Girls and etc...

The Chinese

• S.H.E - 两个人的荒岛, and etc..
• lots of cha ba lang artis i lazy to stated out because it is in CHINESE
• MR., and etc... [ trying to get update with canton songs..]

The English

• LadyGaGa - Kandy Life, Your Negativity
• Jason Mraz - Try Try Try

erm.. that's all i can remember..

i listen more to korean..

remember the beats of the music than the song titles...

my brain cant fill up with all this things..

######################################################

i just don't know why,

things that i don't want it to happen..

it will eventually occur..

i hate it to occur..

in fact, i wish it will never going to happen....

but,

just like what i told my friends...

my curse have turn to blessings to them..

nothing but JEALOUS

when i knew it is getting more and more stable..

i hope it will break some where..

but it turn out differently of what i wanted it to be...

forever the same..

what i want, will never going to be what i get...

did i really work not hard enough to get what it takes???

what for I'm so upset with all this things???

because i don't want it to happen on that people??

or because i wanted it so much???

still don't understand what i want..

last few days,

i was so in mood wanna purchase a speaker from a friend of mine..

but today, i felt is kind a waste of money....

last few month,

i was in dilemma to choose whether to continue pursue the course im taking now,

or a change...

last few days,

i make my decision to change it..

but today,

i ........

im in dilemma again....

physics..

i choose physics because of engineering..

and i thought i will end up becoming an engineer some days..

i really not sure what i will end up if i continue studying this..

i ask lecturer before what I'm going to be in future..

but i forgotten all the thing he said..

software engineer?

programmer?

i keep on thinking of the best solution for this..

i wanna ask some one..

but no one can answer me..

but, who dare to answer question that change life of one??

everyone ask me to make my own decision..

zzz!!!

now, i really have to admit that independence is so far away from me...

i can't make my own decision..

and i don't even know what i want..

Computer Science?

Information System Engineering?

Accounting?

Architecture?

i sound so greedy...

and i don't know what i really major in..

what i really expertize in..

what i really want...

My Pledge

Although i knew it..

but still,

jealousy filling up my mind right now..

still the same,

blame no one but myself..

ZZZ!!!

parent keep on bla bla bla~~

i knew they are sad with my performance..

they thought i will be the one who can make them proud..

guess that, this burdenish job, i will let it to my little brother to do it..

[although i knew, he will end up same like his siblings ==]

keep on thinking if time can be turn back..

but no matter what happen..

their success wont affected my life..

guess that,

i should start to pump up myself even harder...

==''

my heart still cant stop comparing...

even though it is past long time ago,

but i still cant help myself to compare myself with others...

ishk....

still the same,

before each semester start,

I'll make a pledge to myself...

[although most of the time i break it]

i wish to:

• Attend ALL the Classes
• study at least 3 days in a week and spend 2hours on it...?? maybe one hours??
• DO all THE TUTORIALsssssss
• Score Well For Mid-Term
• Finish Assignment ONE week BEFORE due date
• Study HARDER HARDER HARDER for my FINAL
• MAINTAIN my CGPA

i guess that's all...

what more i can say?

keep on complaining???

Due to my failure..

i guess, what i should do is to continue to FIGHT for my FUTURE!!!

train myself not to do any comparison of the past..

train myself not to stay at the past

train myself not to look back at my failure[make it a strength to me perhaps?]

train myself to have greater GUTS..

successful people needs lots of gut..

there is lots of things bout me that needed a BIG changes..

to live with the society..

i think i have to work not just harder

but extremely harder..

i hope in 3 year time, i can see different within myself..

well.. hope is still a hope...

FIGHT REJECTED

FIGHT TILL BEing APPR

OVED

happy with my SEM 2 performance

FIGHT!!

AFRAID

the result release!!

but too bad, i haven't even have a peep on it,

the school deleted it from the web..

what can i said??

OPEN IT FOR ME!!!

since i knew the result is out..

around 1400++

i keep waiting n waiting till the midnight..

huh!!

feels so dumb n idiot..

although i knew that it wont be as good as i expected [3.0 seems so far away]

people keep said that i can i can..

but in fact, [ i knew my own business]

i knew it..

this time..

it sure will be a disappointment result..

the feeling of afraid of failing during exam time,

i can felt it right now..

zzz!!

my hand is tremble hard..

I'm way tooooooooo afraid to face it..

TT

i cant even dare to open the site to check...

guess that,

I'll better off n go sleep~~

check it later

when I'm really prepared!!

before that,

i wanna wish all the best to all my CLASSMATES~~

and for my friends who passed!!

CONGRATZ~!!!

nobody know

tik tok~ing

SS~ing / I am a Jerk

SS~ing

and picture editing

by playing with the background effect...

love those effect so so much

which one attracted U the most??

comment please comment~~~~

************************************************************************

one more day before the judgement day arrive~~

one more day for me to prepare myself,

before i have to face with it..

i cant let the faith to GOD,

as i knew what i had done

and how much effort i put on it..

i hope i able to face it..

and i can accept it..

and of course, i do hope that it can make me smile..

as i set a new goal to me and i will start achieve it next semester...

the time pass so fast

and i did not even realize it

i really hope that time walk little bit slow for now..

suddenly i am afraid that time walk too fast..

too fast until i did not realize everything happen around me...

maybe I'm afraid to admit that i grew old...

I'm afraid to admit bout everything that I've done,

even though i said that,

i hate it,

i dislike it,

i don't want it...

but in fact.. some times..

i really want for it..

i hate myself for cant and don't want to admit bout all those things that i like..

there is time i really admire the way others people fight for something

which is not belong to them..

they fight to get it and did not care what others will say bout them...

maybe i too care of what other think bout me

the perception of other toward me is very important..

i try to get to know of everything and just everything

just to be everything in every one's mind

till now, i live for others..

i cant live for myself...

myself cant even support myself.....

i am easily weaken with just one shot!!

one comment from other of me!!

i will start to tremble and guilty filling up my whole body to each cells in my heart

did i make a mistake?

i really is a jerk

and the comments of other will make me feel that i am a jerk even more..

and make me feel that i am approve for being such a successful jerky..

sorry, i did not write out this blog just to make other sympathize me..

from the start till the end,

i realize what is my problem is...

and i write is out before that i want to change it

and i failed to do so...

=(

an unseen truth

hurt

The Tiger Year

hohoho~~

long time no see bloggie...

mixiu mixiu

let's get to the main topic before i start to crap...

The Night Before CNY

This year few people are attending the dinner at night..

so less cooking needed, so do dish wishing XD

the tiger year really ROAR~ing the town

before the CNY started,

the Tiger(means a short n Big Rain with 'Tornado' Wind)

blew down a lamp post at the town,

half of the town of Diamond Bay are in darkness during the night..

luckily we still able to eat and done all the dish washing before the sun set..

and the night is interesting..

this is the advantage of living at kampung

feel so refresh although without the electricity..

using candle to lighten the house..

it feel quite special for me..

^^

The 1st Day

Nothing special actually,

just like the previous year,

but wake up a little bit later than usual (hoho)

and 5 of us,

go to our grandparent house for AngPau~ing...

until afternoon,

a friend of mine call, that she will be leaving the next day..

zzz!!

so i dump all my activities and go out meet with her..

but end up that girl...

fly aeroplane to 7people..

*a clap for her*

but not her fault also, since there is a lion dance at house..

of course she have to stay and watch..

but never mind..

NEXT~~~

Night eating a reunion dinner with my mother's side family..

i did not eat much since, i already eat during the 'reunion' with my friend earlier just now..

and here come the interesting part..

what else if not GAMBLE

this is the first time i really gamble for so long ever since i born..

i never gamble for ages although i born in a 'gambling' family

usually i just watched..

since my brother already loss almost RM100++

so i helped and win back!!!!

although did not win so much..

but at least this is the first time,

i win so much money!!!!!!!!!!!$$$$$$

and i went back to my father's side family

went to mamak stall with relatives,

zzz!!

not even able to order something,

everyone cried to leave..

so we left and went back home for chit chatting session

learn quite lots bout my cousins future ambition..

*little bit regret for not do well in my secondary school*

-END-

The 2nd Day

a lunch with my relatives...

and then TV~ing

zzz!!

i really forget what happen next...

but i conclude everything and stop day~ing

went to Vijay's BBq party..

quite fun actually,

to meet with some one i knew but did not even talked much

see them dancing..

and also a narcissistic guy keep showing off his body

yea applause to him for be able to keep till so FIT

clap clap clap

their dancing really LOL~ing

next is TzeMei's BBq party..

FUN!!

long time never burn?

how to pronounce the word?

burn chicken wing?

whatever~~

and also meet up with the old classmates..

chat less..

because I'm not in the mood to talk..

I'm breathless that night..

maybe due to lack of sleep...

but we do snap lots of interesting pictures,

not in my phone nor camera(i do not even own one)

so no pictures is uploaded

Tiger WooHoo~ing

with my BESTIES

nice!!!

long time never see their faces...

best of LUCK KARVEY N AIPENG

see you all again during May semester break and hope we able to organize a trip to some where~~

almost forgotten an activity~~

YumCha~ing with my Sungai Tiang Friends..

sorry for not be able to follow together to Sungai Tiang

and thanks to my dearly housemates, Suang n Lan

for coming over my house

have a nice chat with all of you..

okay that is the activities i done from Day3 to Day8

the 8th Day

i wake up

help my mum do nothing,

since she n her sister already settle everything

i just help to take the 'kuk kuey'( means kuih la) from YinShyuan's house

woooots

doing big business as usual...

lots of bun bun n gu gu in her house..

decorating the floor and table and also the sofa...

hohoho~~

the night during the big celebration is superb~!!

thanks to my aunt who brought us Jagung,

although i dint eat..

but it help warm up our family relationship...

my uncle came from KL with her wife, while all their children are currently at Singapore..

not even have a chance to meet with them this year

and superb firework scenery..

3 Dimension of viewing with star filling up the skies..

love this day so much...

and the very next day..

when to Ipoh with Shyuan..

watches 72 Tenants..

nice movie~~~

thanks to little guy for taking us go visit all those gua gua

and also the 'gong' that can produce voooong vooooong sound~~~~

the wishing 'pond' (don't know how to pronounce it)

next year i will come with 100 Biji 10cent

hmmmmmph...

thanks again to little guy for treating me drink tea...

the expensive tea i ever drink in my life

sound so kampung but is truth....

i guess that's all the activity

those that sound like my day are fully booked?

nope~~

not at all..

all those activities just take around 2 to 3 hours..

most of the time i stayed at my house sleeping, Tv~ing n Shitting....

before i end this post

i want to thanks to all the drivers that drive me before~~

1.Chun Peng - bring me go The Store

2.Hui Leng - bring me go Mamak

3. Shyuan - drove me everywhere~~ (nice driving skills)

4. Wei Siang - to Vijay's house ('SUPERB' driving skills)

5. Yu Ting - to Mon Kuen's house

6. my parents

7. Chan Fai, Chan Kin n Kok Liang

( zzz!!! now my cousin n my little brother driving skills are even good than me)

this is the advantage for being the only girl in family..

all the boys in my house will drive me everywhere~~~(sometimes ==)

hahaaaaaaaaa~~~

cant help myself buaya~ing people...

and I'm so talented in doing so...

LOL

that's all for this post..

no picture is uploaded because im lazy to upload it

but i've already uploaded it at FB..

click HERE to view it.

by the way,

i did not snap any picture of me with new clothes~~

no changes of my hair or anything..

simple and still the same waiyin

ngek ngek..

nite~~~

T-R-Y

I'm listening to

Jason Mraz - Try Try Try

the song might be nothing..

but i love the song style..

and the lyric is superb~!!

go n google it

or download the song n listen yourself

if you really wanna know how nice this song is..

^^

by the way..

Lady Antebellum - Need You Now

is quite nice tooooooo

way too nice

maybe i never heard a song..

erm suppose to said a group with combination of a female and a male singer...

hohoho..

nice one, nice one..

i've been listening to their song for more than a month..

==''

last two week is quite busy preparing for exam n CNY n bla bla bla...

okay.. cut the craps..

let's photo done all the story

GongXi~~ hee hee..
the new year atmosphere is everywhere
although I'm not in it..
but at least my blog deserve to be decorated with these..
hahaaaaa~~~!!!
happy chinese new year bloggie
happy to all the one who viewing this
thanks..



cam whoring at boutique shop
hohoho..
only one shirt..
but dint buy it..
not suit me..
and i look like zzz~!!

try to be nice and create a beautiful world,

and i wonder if i ever cross your mind,

for me it happens all the time..

where are you

Unreality

sometime watch those drama make me feel sick

sorry

what i mean is sick of my life...

is it they created too well happy ending?

too happy script??

I'm wandering,

how come they can end up the story so beautifully??

how they have such a courage to pursue their goals?

and how successful they are in pursuing their goals...

I'm envy

I'm jealous

i want those life

but still i love to watch drama..

unreality world can make me escape from my sickness world..

^^

nite.....

Failed Again

i have successfully failed it again for the second time..

at first i feel nothing bout it...

but after went home and have a deep consideration..

i really regret with what i had done for the whole week..

feels like I'm going to failed for at least two paper...

never celebrate your birthday when your age had a number 9 with it..

seems like a curse haunting me..

TT

wish this year end soon,

wish new year end soon..

I'm not really excited bout celebrating it..

not even feel like wanna make a move to visit 'them'

Ciss..

what is the point of caring some one while the other treat you like a shit???

she is the only who will still say: 'cincai'

while we are such a disappointing children...

just wanna spend my entire holiday staying at home

hibernating and resting my mind..

recover my hate toward everyone

==

my brain numb

...

okay..

spend some times to do some complaining...

i am so freakishly pissed off right now..

zzz

feel like want to tell to others but

i think I'm the one who will being tease for being so sarcastic..

Ive been being patient over this case since u enter my life

i don't understand?

is it my problem?

or u?

when others sleep in my room,

u will keep quietly..

and that is the moment of silences i can felt during sleep time..

until the others left and u started to open songs/radio loudly..

can u be a bit considerate to me??

even when u sleep, i did not even open any fucking songs..

i can work in dark just to let u sleep in dark..

being so tolerant to u if can..

i cant even sleep well this few days..

and the moment i started to can communicate with sleep

u come and interfere my communication

zzz~~!!!!

change my study place to living room since i knew u sleep early

i don't want to disturb you

since you ady so 'tired' with your day life,

so i give you sleep

i let the whole room to you..

sleep in darkness. i cant remember when is the last time i did this at here..

is it I'm acting too princessly?

i really feel sick looking at you..

you now creating nothing but just hate

==

not letting me sleep is not the only reason i hate u..

adding up other internal n external factor..

which i lazy to describe..

aaahhh...

forget it..

I'm the bad ppl in the house

u are the good one..

you are labelled as the best of the best housemate n roommate by others

and i am the other ways..

u cry ppl considerate

now i was like being black labelled for not waking u up or teaching u

zzzz

fine..

spending my fucking 15min

crying for this

am i too stressed out for the 6 days non stop exam?

am i angry for not being can have a good sleep?

or just disappointed with what I've done for the exam...

the exam is creating huge disappointment in my life

for the first time,

I've being so scare to face it..

I've being so unsure with what I've done

even not a chance for me to feel unsure with what i've done

burning all the oil i have just for these days..

all the effort is like being wasted..

easy question is being blanked..

hard question filled with craps...

really scare that i cant do this well..

maybe i look too high on my capabilities some times

what i want now?

sleep or study?

maybe continue study...

sleep when i get back to home...

i miss my bed...

sleep is my life

the reason why i so pissed off

i aim higher

not just enough

but higher

EXPLODED

officially declared war for the next 6 days

today is the 1st day,

and i end up being exploded..

RIP

=(