stay

this few days..
i am really really down..
i can't explain why I'm becoming like this..
homework? [stupid talk show]
social network? [because of them]
family? [guilty]

i thought that a trip maybe will make me happy again..
but then,
i think i make the whole day sucks..
trying to make myself comfortable during the trip..
but i failed...

i can't breath well..
like there is a hole some where in my lung..
after i get home,
i quickly eat medicine..
till now, im still searching for the right way to make me breath comfortably...

i hate to eat medicine..
too depended on it,
will make me become just like him...


i guess I'm already old
too lazy
shopping and straying around cant entertain me anymore..
now i prefer sitting alone facing the comp whole day and speak nothing..
prefer msn to crap more than talking face to face...

what should i do....
why i cant hide my emotion anymore....
i feel like an idiot acting like that in front of them...
sorry


maybe i will consider stayed instead of go