control

*clap clap clap*
really need to clap to myself
finally i can control my emotion..
although the whole day,
there is something distract me.. really not in a very good mood
but i manage to control it, i guess nobody will notice it also..
actually i want to find people to talk to
but........


lonely~~
I'm so lonely~~

sad~~
I'm so sad~~

pain~~
I'm in pain~~




rejected...
please teach me ways to overcome all this negative thought
please teach me ways to see the good side of everyone..
please teach me ways so that i wouldn't been rejected again

even them rejected me.. T.T
is it I'm too arrogant in building a relationship?
our friendship need a third people to make it continue..
i guess if the third people is not here, fullstop will appear in our story..
i will forever have to make the first move..
why?
can you notice that I'm really really tired?

the not important one will have to make the first move,
while the important one just have to wait for people to approach to them

the not very important one,
forever is the last people that get to know bout everything
the not very important one,
have no authority to talk, especially when talking bout the feeling she felt..
everyone will forget whatever thing that the not important one had said before..
crap to make people notice that this person is still alive..
and thanks to crap, people will only thought this human only know how to crap.. and will only find you to crap and find you to LISTEN..

i listen a lot of story from lots of people
how many people listen to me before?
i saw many people cry in front of me before
how many people really saw me cry out of heart?
i saw many people burst to anger and people will comfort them on spot
comforting huh...
how many people did that to me before?
I'm acting too strong?



tired tired
you ask me to tell you
but you never listen!!!
what is the point then?
i have no chance to voice my opinion and opinion of me keep being kick far far away..

i shut up!!!
learning to shut up!!
learning to control and keep all this thing deep inside my heart..

because you are the important one?
while I'm the rejected human?

why people approve you
and people keep on rejected me?
when can i find a people that will approve me at least one time?


okie story of yesterday
i really have no idea wanna how to continue the project
luckily there are some people willing to help
thanks
i saw them for the first time
notice that, why wanna complained?
and you notice it also huh...

fell down again..
pain.. TT
stair seems to hate me a lot..
even unliving material rejected me