awake

got a shock actually
that he will tell me his feeling, his mood, and what he had done...
the more he tell me what he had fight for his study
the more i feel guilty
i get to know his thing from other people..
am i a useless people??
we are near but yet seems so far away..
and those who are far seem a lot more far away..
i really miss those day
since when we started to ignore each other and why??

a lot of thing happen this weekend..
alone at here,
make me realize a lot of thing
at least i know they still concern bout me(maybe)
i know that he is sad
i know that they are happy
i know that im being ignored by certain people..
i get to know more bout them...
realize that she also are close with them, while im.....
realize that i started to hate U
realize that only she n she n she n she n he n them still know that im existed and i feel important whenever im with them.. thanks

to them:
although u never really listen to me
but u accept me from rejected
pain is there,
but a little hope u gave it to me
will vanished all the pain

to the other them:
everything is past tense then
and
i really dont understand..
i ignore u?
or
u ignore me?

trying to prepare myself for the exam..
but im really easily distracted...
i love the time started from 2am..
silent..
but the noise from the outside annoyed me..
i heard sound of....(maybe imagination)

ahh!!
i really hope i can pass well for this semester test
i need help on homework...
i really need it...
but i guess at here,
no one will help
except yourself..
i didnt dare to bother him, since he is so upset with his stuff

im curious of what kind of phone the other he had bought..