War Of My Life

if the way i talked annoying..

sorry,

i will to shut up..

if the way i cut/join into your conversation annoyed you

sorry,

i will leave immediately

if the way i act distracting..

sorry,

i will disappear..

if talking to me wasting your time..

sorry,

please don't ever do it again to me..

I'm not forcing you to talk to me whenever I'm down or happy...

if my unhappy distracted your emotion..

sorry,

i will not tell you anymore..

i wont tell you anything ever again...

please don't force yourself to ask me what happen...

sorry,

please don't visit here anymore..

sorry,

i will not find you during these period until I'm able to control it...

if everything of me disgust U..

sorry,

i will choose to avoid U..

in the mean time,

i will change..

maybe i should just shut up..

and talk whenever is needed...

maybe i should just disappear..

so that i won't annoyed anyone...

sigh~

it hits and give me a huge impact..

this really hurt me a lot,

and it does change a lot on everything..

i cant forget it...

everything in my life seems uncontrollable since it attacked..

i thought of lots of things since that day...

the silently is so creepy and it freak me out..

i can feel everyone hate my existence on that moment..

it feel so damn awkward as i got no where to go but just remain silently and let the rain wash it all away..

avoided all this thought by watching anime for two day non stop...

and it help..

but whenever i stop..

it comes again...

I'm the one who should be blame for not putting effort or noticing the fact that i hurt U before..

and the hurt is hurting me so so so so much..

T_T

everything had change...

or is just me..

me who want to change it..

to be a better me?

i am weak,

because i don't have enough hatred

#########################################################

thinking of wanna spend lots of money whenever I'm sad...

and something hit my brain..

and i remember a fact..

oh yeah, I'm not a rich one..

Iphone, Samsung Galaxy S, Nikon DSLR, Nikon Camera..

all these will be just a dream that i could not dream off...

is hard to face the reality after being hit by so many things this few days..

whenever i gather all the energy to make my move..

I've being shoot again from far...

it seems like i have to stay inside the circle forever...

i wanna fled away..

as far as i could..

starting from this semester,

lot of bad thing happen..

i try to be optimize toward everything..

i succeeded at the beginning..

and now..

everything seems so impossible..

Today is just not the day...

I'm sorry i cant help a thing when

today, a friend told me that...

'today is my baddest day'

the saddest part is,

how many people actually know what is on my mind..

how many people actually will ask sincerely what happen..

everything because you visited here..

by the time you ask,

i will only reply..

I'm fine