Im BAD

whenever people need help...

i will try my best to help them if i can..

even they need no help at all, i still will try my best to find whatever thing to help them to make their life good with my presence in their life...

i do this, because i believe in karma..

i do hope that, whenever i need help..

there is someone who will help me back without expecting any returning..

sigh..

guess that i was wrong..

no matter how hard i try is equal to how hard i present myself to look more stupid in front of other..

sometime, i do angry with those people

which was like giving a

'you have no leg no hand to do it yourself?'

and this started to annoyed me most..

i even start to hate most of my friend around me..

no matter who you are,

i hate myself because of my stupidness whenever i ask any help from you...

i am sorry that i am so annoying..

i am so sorry to disturb you..

maybe I'm the one who suppose to leave you alone instead you trying to leave me..

sensing how much hate you keep inside your heart is making me feel so damn of myself...

i treat everyone equally same,

there is no differentiation between everyone in my friendship

the things that make difference is because i started to hate you

and i sense that you hate me too..

if you think that im not talking bout you, you are so wrong..

because it is you the one im talking bout...

don't worry, I'm not trying to express my anger to you..

looking at you making me feel pissed of myself..

maybe i should learn to shut up whenever I'm with you, so that you can be in peace..

i never understand last time did not mean I'm not now..