Lied

this is all just a lied

i told myself..

new year, new life..

the bad things will go off soon...

but then, just when i going up little bit..

there will be sure something happen..

back to home,

argue with majority of my family members..

just because of my fucking behavior

back to here..

i try to forget everything back then

but people treating me like i am the bad people

ok i apologize for whatever that had happen

stop judging me

like you know me...

did you ever realize, i never talk things bout ME?

because the attention forever will not in ME

everything bout me

just me, is like being rejected away

you all judge Me as the ME in your mind..

not me

not at all...

I'm not begging for some one to pity me..

just leave me alone...

i try hard to bear it all before i came here..

try not to drop tear..

try not to be sad or show the fucking face in front of the other...

failed..

everything is just a lied

to just lied myself that this world is fucking 'beautiful' and 'colorful'

people at here..

forever the same..

maybe I'm the one who different from them..

forever they treated me in this way...

they will just drop the bad memory inside my mind

i cant search any good one that can make me smile

seeing all of them, laughing like a family..

i feel like I'm the outsider..

i am sorry that i am born such a fucktard

such a bitchie that bark all way out

like an insane farking girl

i am sorry for cant become the one you expected..

why you treated others so good,

and when it come to me..

it was like dropping from the heaven..

i have a fucking feeling too...

i did not mention does not mean i does not bother bout it..

environment causes me to keep my mouth shut..

even when i voice out..

my voice is like being blow away by the wind..

and you did not give a damn care bout it too..

you are making me one step away from you as day pass..

i am so fed up..

so fucking fed up..

so fucking tired

so fucking fuck off with the life i have..

university life sucks

my life is a sucks

everything sucks to the core..

i hide from home

i hide from the world

i hate myself