i knew

i can see

everyone still remain the same

through chats, through observations, through my feelings

they are still like last time...

am i changing?

why they can still be the same, while i have to change?

is it i do not have the guts...

to show the ME to others..

the changes

the up and down

haih..

i really don't know what am i anymore

Kok Wai Yin sound so unfamiliar to me

i still searching...

or is this me?

what i want to say is,

everyone see him as a joke..

but for me,

whenever i see him..

i really really admire him on the way he live his life

everything that he do, catches my attention

most of it is stupid of course, but

i wonder, how he can have such a gut to show the REAL him in front of others..

how he can ignored what everyone said behind him

and continue to live by his way..

i think a lot

A LOT compare to last times..

maybe i am too free,

people keep on stabbing behind or in front each others as they live

is this the reason why they make friend with others?

what is the point of being a friends...

if, you hated the others..

you keep saying bad word bout others..

yes.. i admit.. i am a gossip girl.. a very poisonous mouth..

once i dislike a person.. straight away, your name is black and that's the end..

now... I'm trying to change myself

try to gossip lesser...

talk more about you and me perhaps?

from their eye sight..

i knew there are some spark will happen someday..

just wait and see..

from their smile

through their conversation

i knew I'm not belong to this stage...

i knew what I've done

and it is time for me to step out of the stage

its feel hurt if other push me from the stage

before I'm getting hurt,

i better done something, at least

it wont as pain as being push out

stage is belong to beautiful people like you...

and all of you deserved it..

realize that, i really hate being with the crowd

crowd making me so tiny which makes me feels so unsecured..

i knew a lot of things..

sometimes, there are things people need not tell out

i can felt it straight away what you want..

but isn't shutting your mouth up

will save you from trouble?

life is something which cant be erased

if i found an eraser of life

i will erase....................

i can feel the distance between me and the world

i just want to live in

Fairyland in Reality

(put me to sleep forever^^)