the right song..
the right moment..
the right atmosphere..
everything went so right at this moment
ignore those notes besides
it feels so great
tried to react that i care bout nothing
actually i really envy
i really worried
i really frustrated
i really hunger/dying for it
i don't understand
why,
people out there,
live life like ABC
they need not have to put so much effort
and
they gain whatever thing they want
everything went so smooth for them
money, carrier, love, study...
I've try live as smooth as them
try not to see too deep inside
try not to listen so much
try not to realize the ugliness behind those beauty
try not to compare
try to shine
try to step forward
try to laugh
try to talk
try at least make one thing in my life went perfectly..
is it,
i did not work hard enough?
did not put more effort?
did not do it well enough?
sometimes,
the way people treated me..
make me wanna step out of the world..
I'm feel good staying inside the world of mine..
what is the reason,
they pull me out from the dark,
and dump me in the dark again..
i hate it!!
i hate is so much..
when you said something..
and then you left without ending it..
if it is like that,
why you tell me on the first place?
my fault for asking you to tell me?
maybe you have lots of friends beside me..
they can make you happier while i cant...
this is the way how you treated me..
i hate it...
i hate it..
when i said something
and you never paid attention,
the reason why i hate to repeat,
the reason why i hate to stay with the crowd,
the reason why i hate talking to you..
if you invited so many people in an event,
and end up,
I'm being ignored..
why you invited me?
my fault for not making myself to attract others attention?
why others,
need not even open their mouth,
can be the important one??
the reason i hate it deeply..
i hate it..
when you compare my study
when you compare how i look
when you compare others with me
how pretty people are
how lucky people are
how rich people are
how hardworking people are
how obedient people are
how good people are
I'm sorry i can be the one you like bout others
which i don't have any single traits of it..
i hate it..
i hate it..
when you live the way you are
and yet you said this is not you
the real you are so fake,
and i cant see the real you but just the 'real' you?
so why you tell me bout it?
is it just a creation?
which one is fake?
which one is real?
which one should i believe?
i hate it..
i hate to make decision
i hate to choose
i hate it..
i hate everything out there..
i love stay with the fake world i create here..
i love all the music that make me feels that there is still life out there
i love facebook that give me inspiration of everything that i hated
i see that person said,
it is embarrassing to post something out, and no one comment on it...
yeah right..
out of 10 posts i posted.. only one is being replied
so should i jump to death?
this kind of people are just hunger for popularity
i hated this kind of people
is it because i cant be like this kind of people?
talk till the end
there is nothing i hated as deep as i hate myself
i don't know how i end up hating so many things,
while the purpose of writing this posts at first is to promoting songs i listened..
everyone in the house
telling me that they are so poor
i am poor
but i cant help myself to spend..
i cant control it
i can see that she is deeply hunger for it
she is deeply in love
she is so brave
what should i said to her?
when she seems like did not wants to talk to me,
is it the previous encouragement which lead to failure
make her does not want to talk anything to me anymore?
just wish her all the best in finding the one she want..
he and she have it all
and keep complaining unstop
i really don't understand why?
is it all because to attract people?
i feel so damn dizzy right now
the sleep time of mine are disturbed
should off and went to bed..
what a nice weather
what a nice melody~~
I melt.. I melt....
when it comes to study
my little hobby
damn me
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