Change

I know exactly who i am and what i want for myself..

i knew the changes on my behavior and personality for the every stage of my life..

it been quite tough for me to understand who i am..

there are lots of thing of me

either good or bad,

i want to change it..

even if i failed so..

i will try to minimize it,

so others will not use it to attack on me..

i am mentally weak..

i had a very low EQ..

i had to tell u this,

things that i treat this as joke,

i hope you really will..

i don't know why, each time i joke, you will take it differently from what I'M trying to express and then you personally attack me..

if you hate me fine~

why you wanna find me on the very first place?

i never mean to offence you once in my life..

you think this is some sort of joke to make fun of me in lots of people..

i don't think anyone find it funnier except you with your evil grin...

heck!

i cant hate you more because we are family!

and yet,

i don't think you ever treat me that I'm part of your family...

i cant said a thing because you have the 'supporter'

everyone have to respect you..

and you think you have the power to make fun of anyone..

even people who are older than you..

pathetic you that keep on whining why you have no friends..

you can treat your family like this..

i don't think you can treat your friend anywhere better..

not just you..

but everyone of you..

i have no power of doing anything..

everyone keep on teasing on me..

making fun of me..

things get worst when i grew older..

even the younger generation making fun of me..

no one ever put a slight respect toward me...

it hurt me deeply but i cant do a thing..

what people expect me to do?

change..

I've change a lot..

maybe i have interact with lot of people with different kind of personality..

there is a time when i went out hanging out with my new known friends..

i laugh hard! even the tear have drop out..

i miss this kind of feelings..

its been a very very long long time i never had a good laugh like this one..

i had change to someone who more matured and forget how to laugh?

i had move to a stage where i need to get serious?

maybe,

is been too long i never really interact with them,

maybe this kind of joke that we use to play with each other

but i had forget about it..

I'm easily upset with whatever thing that happen around me..

i should had think twice before i start to jump to the conclusion..

maybe i just should learn to shut up...

ya...

seriously need to shut up....

the reason why i wanna meet with lot of new people

is not i wanna become recognize by lots of people..

i just want to find more people that know nothing bout my previous and accept the way i am as FRIEND~

i want to find friend that can make me laugh till tear drops...

i want to find back the feeling~

i want to find things that i feel lost within myself...