=/

people said,

all you need is just ask and people will come to you..

but when this come to me..

no matter how hard i ask..

there are just people would not want to come near me...

no matter how hard i try..

everything they gave me is just a dead sentences..

i try hard to create a lively conversation with you..

but each of you keep give me those dead answer which i hate it most..

anything la

whatever

o

OK

when i pissed off..

i try to use back this word back to you..

result were quite obvious that you are pissed off..

and you show your pissed-off-look right on spot to me..

oh great..

today i had make some one upset with me again..

i cant even control myself for not doing that..

i did not mean to hurt anyone..

i just wanna show back that the word you use daily to me..

is basically hurting me..

so you can get hurt with the word you use to hurt me, and I'm not?

i did not said a thing because i don't wanna continue argue with you..

plus,

if anything when wrong..

people will just point to me..

ya la.. you mess up with waiyin.. the most aggressive one..

but when you mess with me..

what can i said?

people just never bother...

and the way you treating me is just far so different compare to other..

when i complain, people will think that I'm trying to play manipulated mind,

so that everyone will hate each others..

most of the cases i just keep quiet and bare through it..

but people tend to step it even higher on my head..

when i try to be good to others, you will try to be even more good than i am...

so that people will acknowledge you..

no matter how hard i try,

i keep lose to you...

maybe i just don't have social skills like you...

when i ask why, you ask me to shut up and just give an answer..

okay fine..

why you wanna ask so many why on me back??

i started to hate those friendship or any bonding..

watching the bonding that the anime character keep saying all the time for every episode sound kinds of craps..

when people choose to abandon you, that is..

they will never look back to you anymore...

no matter how hard i beg..

sometimes, 10 sentences i said cant be compare to an 'OK' that he/she reply...

this is some of the reason why i hate to talk to some of the people around me anymore..

i think they not even bother of it..

yes I'm quite happy seeing everyone in silent..

I'm happy when you wanna talk to me,

you need another medium to do so...

you need a person to accompany you so that you have the GUTS to talk to me..

I'm happy with all this mess I'm created..

if becoming meaner if what everyone expected I'm going to be..

than i will be more mean than what i am now.....