what does it feel like

what does it feel like to be left completely alone,

what does it feel like to be ignored all the time,

what does it feel like to be rejected all the time,

what does it feel like to living in darkness all the time.

what does it feel like,

when you want at least some one beside you,

you realize, you cant find anyone..

what does it feel like,

when you see others live their life to the max

while you live to the zero

saying all this, thinking all this thing

will only make yourself hurt..

as everyone is happily enjoying time with friends..

chatting...

played their roles as a good student..

here i am again..

third time in less than 24hours...

stepping leg outside the world alone,

need courage,

which i haven't own it yet..

it is not easy to continue..

every night

whenever I'm alone at here, i will started to wander what is the point for me to keep holding on

my hand started to tremble

and eye feel so pain, as the tear were trying to out...

when will all this end....

i keep tell myself do not bother bout this topic so much..

but whenever people start talking bout it..

i will feel pain deep inside my heart..

although they never ask anything bout my life before..

but

just hearing other people stories will make me flew far away from reality

those bad images keep displaying..

until now,

i cant and don't know how to flash back the good memories of mine

everything seems vanish one by one as day passes...

i never mention out doesn't mean I'm happy

i never mention out doesn't mean I'm brave

doesn't mean i am incredible

doesn't mean i wont drop my tears

doesn't mean i can do everything..

doesn't mean i don't want care from you

but at the end..

i mean nothing to you

when i talk thing bout me..

people thought i crazy

when i talk less bout me

people thought i am arrogant

i wonder..

i can stand how long before i collapse

i wonder..

am i the extra of life?

i wonder..

how come their relationship is so good?

is it the cause and effect of boycotting other?

I'm receiving the effect?

by the way,

if you laughing how stupid am i writing all this crap

please get lost from here...

as i like how i wanna spend my time writing this crap