Avoiding

i changed my blog link..

this few days will be the hard time for me i guess..

i need to re-looked back of what actually is me..

until I'll be able to calm down and smile back..

i will change back my blog link

too many people reading..

i mean too many people that i concern is reading...

maybe i don't want them to think that i am insane or what..

or seeking for others care and attention?

i don't know??!!!

i have adapted posting my stuff at here,

so i have no choice but just change blog link..

when i remain silent,

there is a lot of time, i bared hard to hold my tears not to flow out..

just feel wanna cry anytime..

for them, i maybe thinking too much and this is self bring problem..

but i just don't know why i will feel like this...

i spend lots of money recently

feeling so damn fun spending money...

the moment i can concentrate looking at those unliving material and

forget bout others things...

i change my bed location to the living room..

maybe i afraid of talking to people

afraid that i will hurt them..

or

i afraid that they will see me in tears..

alone sleeping at this big living room

remind me of my room back then..

a place where i can lock myself and cry alone...

i really afraid

afraid that people will know..

afraid that i will losing something which i treasure..

everything seems to be very far away from me..

leaving me~~~

and

still the same..

i cant helped myself to cry in front of laptop again...

headache~ing

I'm searching for a reason

to ignore

to avoid

to get away

from you