x important

i realize that I'm not really important..
to my family
to my friend
to the society
to the world



and there are time,
people never notice bout my existence at all....
I'm 19 this year, and yet..
there are many of my parent friends or long long relative does not know bout me at all
but the weird thing is, they knew bout my two brother..
after seeing me, all got a shock!!
'oww!! you have a daughter???!!'

back to home,
make me think a lot..
yesterday till now, i did not step out from my room..
hardly open my mouth to talk also...
a strange thing happen yesterday night..
a bit creepy to me..
not going to say out,
mostly people must be say that I'm dreaming..
but what i can said is.. i totally freak out yesterday night..
i seems like can feel it, although i cant see, but i really can feel it..
not to say feel..
i can sense that i touched...........
it feel so near to me, and.....
i don't wanted to continue it, since I'm going to stay another night at here, i hope this incident wont happen again...


what i had thought?
-the way i act recently is just to grab attention
-no one take whatever thing i said seriously
-no one listen to it/ see it seriously either
-I'm too fake
-if I'm dead now
-there are people beside me
-if i dare to do it


the stronger the person are, the weakest the person is also
the noisier the person are, the many hidden problem that person have
that person did not care, doesn't mean that person is mean/cold blooded
good people can be mean than the bad one