breathing

she tell me is the effect of caffeine,
but i think is the effect of thinking too much...

there are time i feel really guilty to everyone around me, for no reason
there are time i feel that I'm a bit insane, like a a mad people
am i really mad???
i think I'm not, cz mad ppl wont think that they are mad..
i still have the thought that I'm mad, means that I'm not mad


i don't know what more i can say
i wanted to say and type a lot of thing..
but when it is come to creating a sentence in verbal or oral..
i failed to do so..
so at the end,
keep it safely at my heart

they seems don't have any life problem at all??
or I'm the one who thinking too much..
think a lot of thing that are not important at all
a not very important thing become a important thing..
so at the end,
i become like this

I'm jealous of them
how i wish to have a life like them
a personality like them
people around them
everything bout them

people say,
after a rain, there will be a rainbow..
color your life, your everything
but the rain never stop, and it started to flood,
washing away all the thought that can keep me alive
now, pain is the only thing that make me feel that I'm still alive

people say that, they are very unlucky,
nobody listen to them..
but did u ever listen to people?
once? twice?
did you really listen it with your heart?

why?
how come, it sound not important at all???
or is that because, it really not very important...
so, nobody care

i thought i will be happier after i got to home
but the feeling is still the same
just like my room at there
the differences is,
there is no school homework and pressure

i thought i can breath better at here
but it seems to be more difficult,
in a room,
i feel suffocating
breath even harder, in case i will faint down here...

i shutdown or they shutdown?
why I'm always think of I'm the most miserable person in the world...
==''

don't ever emo in front of me,
don't judge me like u know me

the truth is
I'm the rejected one..
I'm the one people always forget
I'm the one ppl neglected


the only place that I'm being accept
is here....

don't comment anything bout this post
a post that have no plot
still finding a place where i can breath well