L.O.V.E

today is a nice day..

as time struck 12am..

it feel nice..

yesterday was a doom day

but yet, i still the same

still wanna hide myself from others..

don't ask me why..

me myself still searching an answer for it too...

lots of things happen

lots of Hot gossips happening

but before i started everything..

i wanted to express my L.O.V.E to all my dearest classmates and FRIENDS

congrats for the successful presentation you all have done..

all of them done a great job

^^.. although this thing never came out from my mouth

but I'm proud and impress with the effort you all have put for it

i keep on thinking bad things bout people

although i did not know true or not

but i influence others to believe in me

I'm bad..

XP

but, this is what usually bad people done

they will set a road for themselves before everything started

maybe the previous path they choose, they feel that it is a big mistakes

if you really think in this way..

then what i can say is, continue to stick with your GANG

the reason i hate talking to some of the people recently

is because i afraid that i was unable to control my anger..

i will..

I WILL split out and speak all those denotation/double meaning word

sometime i hate you

i hate the way you treat others

i hate the way you treat only the one you care and you ignore other

i hate the way you use me(maybe?)

i hate it when you talk to me when you feel like no one is there for you

i hate the phrase you all use

i hate it all.. everything of you

i don't understand why i love to hate each and everyone i knew

I'm really hard to satisfied

if you really like something

go for it, before it disappear

things wont appear twice in your life

human are like this..

the easily the things come to them, they wont appreciate it until it is gone

now you say you hate it

but what if,

someday...

it disappear..

although in your mouth you say you never bother..

but what i can say for sure is

there must be a little bit regrets within you

opportunities is right in front of you..

stop and try looked around...

maybe you found out, actually

it is right in front of you

and as for me

things seems to be so close to me

but whenever i try to reach my hand to get it

found out that, it is actually so far away

there is still lot of things in my mind..

i used sleep to hypnosis myself from the world...

so

goodnight bloggies

still have to thanks you

for becoming my faithful listener..

i knew

i can see

everyone still remain the same

through chats, through observations, through my feelings

they are still like last time...

am i changing?

why they can still be the same, while i have to change?

is it i do not have the guts...

to show the ME to others..

the changes

the up and down

haih..

i really don't know what am i anymore

Kok Wai Yin sound so unfamiliar to me

i still searching...

or is this me?

what i want to say is,

everyone see him as a joke..

but for me,

whenever i see him..

i really really admire him on the way he live his life

everything that he do, catches my attention

most of it is stupid of course, but

i wonder, how he can have such a gut to show the REAL him in front of others..

how he can ignored what everyone said behind him

and continue to live by his way..

i think a lot

A LOT compare to last times..

maybe i am too free,

people keep on stabbing behind or in front each others as they live

is this the reason why they make friend with others?

what is the point of being a friends...

if, you hated the others..

you keep saying bad word bout others..

yes.. i admit.. i am a gossip girl.. a very poisonous mouth..

once i dislike a person.. straight away, your name is black and that's the end..

now... I'm trying to change myself

try to gossip lesser...

talk more about you and me perhaps?

from their eye sight..

i knew there are some spark will happen someday..

just wait and see..

from their smile

through their conversation

i knew I'm not belong to this stage...

i knew what I've done

and it is time for me to step out of the stage

its feel hurt if other push me from the stage

before I'm getting hurt,

i better done something, at least

it wont as pain as being push out

stage is belong to beautiful people like you...

and all of you deserved it..

realize that, i really hate being with the crowd

crowd making me so tiny which makes me feels so unsecured..

i knew a lot of things..

sometimes, there are things people need not tell out

i can felt it straight away what you want..

but isn't shutting your mouth up

will save you from trouble?

life is something which cant be erased

if i found an eraser of life

i will erase....................

i can feel the distance between me and the world

i just want to live in

Fairyland in Reality

(put me to sleep forever^^)

songs and pictures

ALBUM OF THE MONTH

is been kind of late update this old album that i currently listen to..

this three i choose out of so many other albums that i got..

it might not suit you..

but still i like some of it..
and the 1st album i would like to share is

KE$HA - Tik Tok

not very sure when it release..
but the song genre is quite same to Lady GaGa, try compare it and see..

for sure, each of them got their specialty

KE$HA vs Lady GaGa

1. Your Love Is My Drug
2. TiK ToK
3. Take It Off
4. Kiss N Tell
5. Stephen
6. Blah Blah Blah featuring 3OH!3
7. Hungover
8. Party At A Rich Dude’s House
9. Backstabber
10. Blind
11. Dinosaur
12. Dancing With Tears In My Eyes
13. Boots & Boys
14. Animal

2nd album

Rainie Yang - Rainie & Love ...?

杨丞琳 - 雨爱

i love this the most..

previous album of her, i did not listen much.. should say not very like it..

this album suit her best.. (in my opinion)

Tracklist
01 雨爱 (Rainie Love)
02 In Your Eyes
03 匿名的好友 (Anonymous Friend)
04 青春斗 (Youth Bucket)
05 调皮的爱神 (Naughty Cupid)
06 折叠式爱情 (Folding Love)
07 要我的命 (The life of me)
08 绝对达令 (Absolute Darling)
09 新流感 (New Influenza)
10 二度恋爱 (Second Love)


next, the last one

F.I.R. ▪ 讓我們一起微笑吧 (Let's Smile)

actually, i never heard this album before XP

yep once i remember,

the song is.. erm not as what i expected..

not so F.I.R

but i see lots of web are promoting this album heavily

then i guess, people sure like it?

i like the cover

Fairyland in Reality (sound nice^^)

01 Find My Way
02 I Am Here
03 向日葵盛開的夏天
04 紀念日
05 衝浪季節
06 紅潮
07 荊棘裡的花
08 讓我們一起微笑吧
09 貓頭鷹的夢
10 We Are...
11 Hero

********************************

ok.. that's all for the album promoting..

now.. pictures i randomly snap today

=]

my pencil case.. going to be 4 years old soon^^

went to see the barred list today..

everyone nightmare's list..

nobody hope to be listed

so do i

this one interesting..

UTAR really chained illegal park motor..

i saw this example today..

i even saw the owner got a shock when saw their precious being chained..

actually i got a feeling wanna park beside it,

until i saw the chain then only i change my mind

think before you park!!

BEWARE

Your vehicle is clamped.

Please contact Department of Safety & Security (DSS) at block C with proof of PAYMENT to unclamp your vehicle

this is just an opinion from an innocent students..

we paid for our parking,

we stayed late to register for ballot..

and yet,

school did not provide sufficient parking..

as today, not so many car parked at block B,

why don't you all give a chance to poor student like us?

hmmm..

end blogging with picture of the DAY

muahahahaha

thank you thank you^^

i hate

what the hell is on my mind!!??

i cant even understand..

i spend one whole days..

crying nonstop

tear drop without any reason...

i cant control it..

i cant..

i skip whole day classes..

to stayed at room and cry

i feel so damn useless..

i am so fucking useless..

my hand trembling..

my finger lost all the energy..

my mind is full of question and thought..

my eye in tear..

my whole body lost my souls

yesterday night were terrible..

i keep on thinking the best way to end up the clock clicking for me..

until i think of you

every time,

when I'm desperate,

i will think of you, the guilty within me..

making me feeling so damn fuck..

i am sorry, for not be able to control my anger and behavior when I'm with you

sorry for not behave well..

even when you send me to the bus station,

i just leave without saying goodbye..

not even look at you

not even talk to you even when you ask me question

i feel so damn guilty for doing so..

i hate myself...

i hate myself

i just hate it..

i hate that i just know to lock myself from the world and cry

i hate myself for not be able to face the mistake that i have done

i hate myself for not be able to say a sorry to you

i hate myself for treating you this way..

i hate myself for just knowing to blog it out and not do it out

i hate

till now,

i cant find the spirit to continue

i feel like I'm wasting your money

wasted your time for bringing me up

wasted your energy and effort you done to just make me standing here..

now only i realize that,

everything bout me shouldn't be share to some one..

is like a curse...

just like you, i think you have even erase me from your mind..

i don't know what happen...

maybe i freak you up?

i think, hating me is the best way..

but i still wanted to sms with you again..

i wanted to...

i wanted to have morning sms from you

i wanted to have forward sms from you

i wanted to hear joke from you

i wanted to listen to the story that you created for me

i wanted to quarrel with you again

i wanted to listen everything from you

i do...

i really do treat you as a friend of mine..

even we never meet before.. but it feels like we have known each other

i feel so damn sad when you ask me who am i

am i so easily being erased from your mind?

every time thinking of you,

i feel so damn sad..

lost a friend like you, making me scare that i will lost another friends again

because of you(maybe),

now

i just like to make everyone to hate me..

hate me more,

maybe if someday,

when I'm not standing on the ground,

people will not drop a tear..

i am a passer by, that pass by and leave no mark on your story..

another BANG

i think i can died on spot...

==

i should think of way to motivate myself...

i do hope,

i really hope that i own a courage

courage and gut to end this life...

craps..

Lied

this is all just a lied

i told myself..

new year, new life..

the bad things will go off soon...

but then, just when i going up little bit..

there will be sure something happen..

back to home,

argue with majority of my family members..

just because of my fucking behavior

back to here..

i try to forget everything back then

but people treating me like i am the bad people

ok i apologize for whatever that had happen

stop judging me

like you know me...

did you ever realize, i never talk things bout ME?

because the attention forever will not in ME

everything bout me

just me, is like being rejected away

you all judge Me as the ME in your mind..

not me

not at all...

I'm not begging for some one to pity me..

just leave me alone...

i try hard to bear it all before i came here..

try not to drop tear..

try not to be sad or show the fucking face in front of the other...

failed..

everything is just a lied

to just lied myself that this world is fucking 'beautiful' and 'colorful'

people at here..

forever the same..

maybe I'm the one who different from them..

forever they treated me in this way...

they will just drop the bad memory inside my mind

i cant search any good one that can make me smile

seeing all of them, laughing like a family..

i feel like I'm the outsider..

i am sorry that i am born such a fucktard

such a bitchie that bark all way out

like an insane farking girl

i am sorry for cant become the one you expected..

why you treated others so good,

and when it come to me..

it was like dropping from the heaven..

i have a fucking feeling too...

i did not mention does not mean i does not bother bout it..

environment causes me to keep my mouth shut..

even when i voice out..

my voice is like being blow away by the wind..

and you did not give a damn care bout it too..

you are making me one step away from you as day pass..

i am so fed up..

so fucking fed up..

so fucking tired

so fucking fuck off with the life i have..

university life sucks

my life is a sucks

everything sucks to the core..

i hide from home

i hide from the world

i hate myself

New Year! New Life! New Hair

before 1st of Jan 2010

upload this pic

the 1st picture in 2010~~!!

Happy New Year

sorry for did not update my blog..

it had been such a busy week for me...

i just finish two presentation in a row

for others..

it might not be the best of the best

but for me..

i think, our team have done The Best

thanks everyone for support...

2009..

the early year, were such a great moment..

until i celebrate my birthday..

the days went from up and down to the core

but sometime, the graph will up little bit...

overall...

i guess i am happy that i am still alive typing blog at here..

previous week, there really a thought of suicide..

life is terrible, horrible and blebleble..

hoho..

before i need to proceed to the brand new year of 2010~~

first of all

i need to apologize

to everyone

if i am too bossy

if i said something that accidentally hurt you

if i ignored you

if i do anything bad to you

and thank you

for accepting the change of mine

for be with me when i needed you

for hearing all my complaining

for still being my friend

for being a new friend of mine

for helping me when i really needed help

and just everything...

^^

yeah...

i need to congratz my friend

who found their new life

new love

and new friends..

(please don't forget me)

and for myself..

i just wish that..

i can be still alive till next year and on the very same day of today

writing a blog..

hahaha~~~

Happy New Year

thanks and keep support rejected

love you, love me

new year, new hairXD