i really envy all my friends that share their personal life conflict with others..

they are brave to share it out,

while me, the coward..

still choose here.....

even she, came to me..

talk everything to me..

and after everything end..

i feel guilty..

i shouldn't enjoy my life so well,

i shouldn't eat so well,

i shouldn't play so hard,

i shouldn't spend so much..

i shouldn't even think on how to enjoy me life to the fullest!

i am being so bad to enjoy me life so well while ....

*while? i don't want to talk bout this*

I'm too arrogant to share out the shame of me..

u are not the shame..

i am just ashamed of who i am..

just sorry..

really sorry for being so selfish..

so sorry for the bad attitude i have...

the most sorry that is,

u have to be with the bad-ass, me..

i understand all the suffering you went through,

i can't do anything because i really coward to face it myself..

coward to step out..

i have nothing..

i even selfish to dump you alone for everything, which prove that im the real jerk...

sorry..

the only thing i can do is quietly listen to everything you wanna complain..

even though it hurt me while listening to it,

i choose to listen, that is the only thing that i can do to make you feel better..

the only way that i can do to learn from the mistake i had done to you..

if time can turn back,

i wish i can make you knew others people rather than anyone that will related to me..

I'm sorry..

i cant describe how sorry i am..

but anyhow,

i still want to thanks you,

for talk to me..

for believing in me..

thanks you

thank you for still showing your caring to me after what i done to you..

burst into tears when you ask me bout my health,

after all those bad life you suffer, and you still concern bout me..

i really ashamed of myself..

everything of me..

back then, i should have just killed myself,

maybe the world will be better without me..

but right now, i should be more strong to keep holding on..

at least make you experience things i wanted you can be experience before i really left...

you are the truly best and good-hearted people in the world i ever meet with..

god should just take my life..

i willing to exchange my long life and make you live longer..

in this life,

i should't ask for more..

this is more than enough...

the reason why i post this is because,

im really sad..

and i want to make those people who read this,

who think that i am a good people or whatever..

im not..

the real fact of me is.. im a jerk..

u still know nothing bout me..