Alone?

i knew it I'm not supposed to feel this way when i have everything..

but yet

it surrounded me whenever I'm here..

maybe, there is something happen today

if the day had come..

and i have the money..

i will do it...

everything bout me seems to get wrong today..

i cant get my breath well..

i wake up dizzy whole days again... [dizziness started to attacked me, although the smell leather is not around me]

I'm started to think back the blood color of mine which is not as red as an healthy people should be..

my fractured bone..

I'm a failure and a sick human..

alone?

maybe...

when i looked at others people vacation life..

i feels..

little bit upset..

is like being ignored and forget by everyone..

but then...

I'm the one who chosen to be like this..

why should i feel like this when i wanted this to happen??

i should start avoid..

start blocking..

start to be in offline mood

just appear when truly needed(if i have the chance)

when i reject..

everyone accepted it without questioning..

when i accept..

people will started showing their faces to me..

which means..

i have to reject every time they offered

so that, i wouldn't have to be in such a depressed condition..

i have to looked at your facial expression to acted..

one single mistake..

i have to be alone..

better choose to be alone by myself..

than others pushing you to the lonely path..

yes..

learn to be independent..

accept the fact

that people only help those who in trouble

and 'those' have to reach the requirement of the people before peoples started to help them

so,

if you don't have the requirement..

need not have to hoping so much..

the more you expect what others should treat you

at the end, you will end up

falling deeply of disappointment,

because, people are not truly wanted to help you

just wanted to entertain you...

yes.. entertain me...

maybe..

i think is no longer maybe,

i should wake up now...

stop talking bout me..

ME is boring..

not important

rejected..

i really hope,

i can get the job..

change my life...

PLEASE!!

talk less observe more

listen less heard more