=(

i never blame anyone for anything..

even how upset i am toward you..

i swallow it hard and continue be your very best friends...

but

things goes different as time pass..

now,

i really feel so tired facing each of you..

tired of opening a conversation with you..

tired to look into your eyes..

just tired..

no matter how hard i try previously..

i look like an idiot who trying to disturb you daily routine..

friend ask me to talk out the problem out with you..

i dint dare,

because everything that upset me most seems to be my very own stupid selfish thought..

i tell myself every time to just bare it through for few more years..

it getting more and more difficult..

what making it so difficult is,

i show it so obviously, and you never even bother to correct yourself..

maybe my expectation toward ways of everyone to treat me is too over..

they are not my families members..

i cant force them to accept the way i want them to be..

=(

my father just shoot me down by saying:

why other people can do it, and you cant?

I'm weak,

I'm too choosy over everything...

sorry..

never had any good sleep at here,

each night i will just make myself very tired before i went up...

i will even wait each and everyone inside the house off light before i sleep..

really tired..

hate myself for making myself this tired just to get some rest..

i miss my bedroom so much....

when there is no people around me..

i become so tired till i don't wanna open my mouth..

my hand shiver when i try to lift up the cup to drink water..........

every night i feel myself like a vampire..

waiting the dark sky to turn brighter..

in the end,

i become too tired till i lazy wanna attend the classes..

The Greater the power you have,

The Greater the responsibility you have to carry it~

i love it when there is work for me to do..

but when the responsibility grow bigger and bigger..

I'm getting pissed with all those paper work all around the table..

the course structure for my subject is quite weird..

everyone start enjoying their end of semester and can start preparing for their final..

me and others classmate still have to face several more mid-term and practical test..

i hate assignment that divided into several part..

it seems like it never going to ends..

due to my 'capability'

i was chosen the best speaker in my class..

hurray?

not at all..

fuck it..

i have to do the presentation again...

i have to do it twice and the mark are divided equally..

Unfair!!!~

why is me???

still got other capable students..

==''

really pissed off with this assignment..

everything have to redo redo and redo..

small mistake, the lecturer straightly reject your work..

no question~

REDO or I FAILED U

which one will you choose then?

arghhh~!!

and i have to do it for the second time..

fuck!

cant express how upset i am now..

mid-term also is fucking me up!

the lecturer expect us to study but the notes are not even released yet..

one subject till now i don't even know what is the scope of the exam..

most of the subject, i don't even have the proper notes..

argh~!!!

i hate it~!!!

this two week will be busy..

week11:

one mid-term,

one presentation

week12:

two assignment,

two lab test,

two mid-term

(two pop quiz will be suddenly POP during these few days)

ah ah~

hope i can survive with these~~

with all this thing twisting my brain like span..

i need to find a time searching my part time job during sem break

or else i will be damn broke for the next semester..

plus the ptptn stuff is quite irritating..

the procedure is headache~ing..

hate it so much..

yet, i have to bear with it or else that's the end of the story...

when everyone in the house is sleeping,

here i am bragging bout my pathetic life that not even one will bother bout it...

cis!!

yes..

im going to cry soon with all this thing burdening me..

people around me not even helping me but just giving me ton of things to be settle off..

even when i said, can u help me out, they make those fucking-pussy-face and i just cant help it but just keep cursing inside my heart and done it my own

they does not helping me but keep on making noise when I'm trying to rest..

this is the people around me

and i really want to say THANK U for doing so to me..

fuck!

love the indieful music

Tired

have been feeling so tired this few days..

fell even more tired after back from vacation...

hate myself for bragging of tired everyday..

the sleep never get enough..

there is lot of things waiting for me to settle,

i wish there is someone there can help me out.. =(

the burden is getting even more heavier and heavier..

I'm okay to carried the burden,

but i just too tired to keep carry on..

i need energy~~

i need REST~

going home and a vacation for a small rest is a wrong decision..

each time I'm back,

i get nothing but even more tired to keep on carry all this burden to move on..

this time is more worst..

I'm tired to talk,

tired to think of anything..

I'm very very tired!!!!!!!!!!!

everyone is worrying about their loan application,

due to some problem..

more than 70% people who apply for government loan cant get it..

even me,

cant get it also..

it suppose to be a very upset news

and

i suppose to be very frustrating with it~

haih~ =(

i even tired of thinking of this thing..

tired of thinking what to do next..

tired to make my move to make things right..

i know my parent will be damn sad and searching solution to solve this problem if i really unable to get the loan..

there is even 25% chances that i will choose to leave the school..

argh~!!

damn it!!!!

feel my hand shivering for no reason..

less energy remain in my bodies..

cant even have the momentum to do anythings.

lifting up a thing make me feel even more tired..

im getting older

==

tired to move on..

i am really tired..

Time's Up

最近，

变得很懒散..

变得很骄傲..

都是身边的人害我的..

每次都说我很厉害很厉害，

再加上我本人，

其实也满爱爱一下的咯~

还真的以为自己很厉害，

有很多事情都把它看得很简单..

害得我现在，

变回过去了的我，什么都不理不睬..

等到最后一秒才来开始怕..

#############

最近，

每天都觉得很累，

每天都不够睡..

我真的真的累了..

每天都觉得很累..

难道，

老了？

啊啊~

开始有点点怕了..

不再管别人在怎样看好我，

我必须认真起来面对着未来的三年..

真的没时间了，

很怕这次会考得很差，

很怕考不到我想要的分数..

我不需要七天，

在给我玩多两天，

就两天！！

金马伦~

我来咯~~

嘻嘻^^

怎么开始忘了

nice album to share

this is really a good album..

i love it so so so so so so so much~

you just have to listen to his songs, and you will agree with me..

love almost all of the track of this album~~~

cant get my ear off from his music once i start listening to him..

Loved Track：怎么开始忘了

Genre：Pop

Release Date：2010.03.14

Track List：

01. Intro
02. 别人的情歌比我好听
03. 怎麽开始忘了
04. 那些幸福的眼泪呢
05. 好朋友的定义
06. 催泪情歌
07. 事情总是并非如此
08. 桃花源
09. 老是忘了吃药
10. 不成功的谎话
11. 放晴
12. 深奥的幸福
13. 失忆

try listen to the song with yellow color~!! ^^

the one with red~ i love the opening..

this song making me feel so miss jay chou movie "The Secret"

but actually every song is so nice~

love it..

^^

listen it ya...

张芸京友和他合作唱歌噢~

好好听~

=/

people said,

all you need is just ask and people will come to you..

but when this come to me..

no matter how hard i ask..

there are just people would not want to come near me...

no matter how hard i try..

everything they gave me is just a dead sentences..

i try hard to create a lively conversation with you..

but each of you keep give me those dead answer which i hate it most..

anything la

whatever

o

OK

when i pissed off..

i try to use back this word back to you..

result were quite obvious that you are pissed off..

and you show your pissed-off-look right on spot to me..

oh great..

today i had make some one upset with me again..

i cant even control myself for not doing that..

i did not mean to hurt anyone..

i just wanna show back that the word you use daily to me..

is basically hurting me..

so you can get hurt with the word you use to hurt me, and I'm not?

i did not said a thing because i don't wanna continue argue with you..

plus,

if anything when wrong..

people will just point to me..

ya la.. you mess up with waiyin.. the most aggressive one..

but when you mess with me..

what can i said?

people just never bother...

and the way you treating me is just far so different compare to other..

when i complain, people will think that I'm trying to play manipulated mind,

so that everyone will hate each others..

most of the cases i just keep quiet and bare through it..

but people tend to step it even higher on my head..

when i try to be good to others, you will try to be even more good than i am...

so that people will acknowledge you..

no matter how hard i try,

i keep lose to you...

maybe i just don't have social skills like you...

when i ask why, you ask me to shut up and just give an answer..

okay fine..

why you wanna ask so many why on me back??

i started to hate those friendship or any bonding..

watching the bonding that the anime character keep saying all the time for every episode sound kinds of craps..

when people choose to abandon you, that is..

they will never look back to you anymore...

no matter how hard i beg..

sometimes, 10 sentences i said cant be compare to an 'OK' that he/she reply...

this is some of the reason why i hate to talk to some of the people around me anymore..

i think they not even bother of it..

yes I'm quite happy seeing everyone in silent..

I'm happy when you wanna talk to me,

you need another medium to do so...

you need a person to accompany you so that you have the GUTS to talk to me..

I'm happy with all this mess I'm created..

if becoming meaner if what everyone expected I'm going to be..

than i will be more mean than what i am now.....

my room

love no where but my own room...

past 3 week is a horrible week..

cant even have a good sleep..

plus.. although is been one year already..

sometime, i just dislike sleeping with other..

i mean, i don't like sleeping with people..

err.. how to put this on word.. zzz

i love to sleep at the afternoon..

but i just don't like when i sleep, there is people around me who is still awake..

i don't like to sleep with the light on..

this happen when we stay with other..

I'm not saying that my room mate is bad or what..

i just adapted to sleep alone...

i have successfully convince my parent to let me live in a single room..

just have to wait one more year..

today went to supermarket with my mum...

i put lots of thing in the trolley and she paid for me..

thanks mum.. =)

she bought durian for me to eat..

have been hunger for it since the durian season attacking.. lol

my aunt told me that,

she heard my father said

"ahyin yao fan lei mea? zhong ji mai lau lin fan lei bei hui sek lo"

wah... so gam tong when i heard this..

is good to be back to home..

the weather is so nice for the whole day..

windy windy~~

just love the cold breeze

i can even sleep with the fan off today.. ^^

I've been so tired for the previous week..

that's why i wanted to go home so badly..

at home,

i can do whatever i want..

i even have my own room..

it is comfortable for doing everything i like without have to hesitated i will disturbed anyone..

i need to rest my mind..

only at home,

i can fully rest my mind without even thinking the burdening pressure i have at school..

all the homework, practical test, mid-term an worst of all CGPA..

==

boring update just to share how i love my room..

^^

thanks for dropping by~~~