what i want

I've being scold for getting bad result for the pass year paper..(opss my parent finally found it out).. yea, they are extremely disappointed with me.. i can understand their feeling, so I've change to study hard this few days...

but what i really cannot accept is they blame me for not taking tuition, blame me for playing with comp and TV i still can accept.. but the other thing they say is just base on what they think... do they really try to understand why I'm quiting my tuitioning.. they said I'm too clever, clever than tuition teacher... skipping school everyday, is because I'm too clever till no need to attend school.. huh!!! am i too clever?? you never ask me the real reason I'm quiting and at that moment i was just stunt and cant say a word... actually i want to explain the real reason, but since you already take me as what u expect in your mind.. why am i going to explain... just a waste of time and you will say that i was trying to protect myself and giving so many excuses...

do they really ask what i want? huh!! not even my parent treating me this way, even ppl around me are treating me this way.. friends is to used, actually i don't think this phrase is true until i meet them... they really used me up.. hmm, i don't care bout it since i want to help my friends and really treated them as friends... until one day i realize, they really just using me, sad? nope.. angry? nope.. i have no feeling toward this kind of friends who are just using me up, for what should i care.. if they felt im the type that can use and other ppl only is their best friends, then keep it up.. this is not the 1st time I've betray or use by friends.. is OK to use me, but plz don't do it so obvious by the way u treating me and other are completely different.. I'm not stupid and i can feel it...

you thought im angry? nope.. im not angry at all... i still can friend with all the people who betray me before till now, so why should i break up those relationship that had made.. i believe one day, they will change the way to treat me as a ppl or a FRIEND.. as for my parent, is a good thing for them o think im a bad daughter.. i never wanted to become a good ppl, nt even infront of my family and friends, at least when i do bad thing, ppl wont scold me for that.. but if a good ppl does a bad thing once.. no one can ever forgive the ppl.. thats life...


talk till the end, i am not angry to everyone, not even sad or wanted to cry out loud.... just wanted to write what i felt only