is raining again..

for some people, they just don't understand..

they never do..

because you are not the person..

you can't felt other's feelings...

all you can do is just to let the one express it all..

shout it out loud..

in facts

everyone are the same..

they are all the same

when it comes to ownselves

everyone will hide in the dark corner..

because they are afraid to face themselves..

afraid to admit that they are wrong...

afraid of being rejected

afraid of the changes if they tried to mend it back the mistakes

lying to yourself,

another ways of being happy..

you push all your inner and darkest side of you inside of you

when you wanna release all the pain.

you realize that, there is no one there for you

and you are all alone..

a fact that cant be change..

i wonder..

why you have to lied to me that you own nothing

but based from my observation i see from you

you have everything

maybe it is not perfect,

but at least you are some one that i hope to be...

you have the everything that i wanted to..

and you still unsatisfied with it...

you lied to me bout your family

bout your friends

bout how you look

if there is a comparison chart..

for sure, you win it all..

you envy of me?

which part of me that make you so interested with??

this is human..

they never feel enough for everything they owned..

yes!!

I'm so deep envy with everything

every single person!!!

everything they posted,

every single things and person beside them

to make yourself happy!!

the very first thing you have to do is

accept the fate..

even though life is unfair to us..

but this is our fate..

it has meant to be like this ever since you were born

the every decision and action you took from the last time..

that causes what you have now..

and this is not others fault to make you became one of this

is you

yourself that causes you to became like this...

if you did not dare to change it all...

keep whining everyday...

you are nothing, but a failure to yourself...

be brave and step out from the dark corner...

you will realize that,

there are lots of people actually lightening your world..

giving you color..

^^

this is life..

and life never meant to be cruel to us..

only we make it cruel to life...

giving advises is easy..

but to do it..

ain't easy at all..

maybe time will faded it all...

we will wait and see...

rain had stopped..

the sun appear to shine the world..

greeting from rainbow to make the world colorful

it will end...

a cut will end it all..

dare?

sometime i just hope that,

everything that i keep thinking

will come true

a lot of WHY that cant be answer

a lot of HOW that cant be solved

a lot of ME that cant be satisfied...

im not emo..

im just tired

im just bored

with

LIFE

I'm still REJECTED

perfect!!

i wander why there didn't have any korean looks alike guy in here..

at least some one who are tall with a nice body perfection?

shit i sound like a guy maniac..

he is way too cool!!

nice hair, nice body, nice...

everything is just so soo sooo soooo NICE!!

BigBang ROCKS!!!

웨딩드레스 (Wedding Dress) - 태양TaeYang

this song is nice..

perfect lyric

perfect music

perfect song title

perfect choreography

perfect man

and everything of it making the song so DAMN perfect...

two thumbs up from me.. (and more if i have more thumbs XD)

this is another nice songs..

for me it is nice..

other's may think that this song is quite...

erm... geli?

the whole album of 2PM is nice...

but since the group only release this song's mv.. The ONLY one out of the album

quite disappoint with it.

but still waiting... for their further progress...

all of them are so cute and handsome..

LOVE IT!!!

this song is quite cute also..

f(x)..

i like the beat..

yeah!!!

see~~

korean is so talented...

where can i find this kind of people at here???

out of sudden..

im envy with my friends who can study at there..

maybe i should try harder now..

and get my life out from here..

start a new life a there.. ^^

(a dream is just a dream)

wait for me......

or maybe this perhaps?

BOYS LIKES GIRLS...

handsome guy...

T.T

nice song..

two is better than one..

all of this clips are some of the songs that im obsessed with right now..

i hope you all can listen as well...

RememBer

i remember the day

alone at the journey back home, and when i wake up...
the bus were empty and the sky is dark
without knowing where is my location..
I'm scare at the moment..
but no one know

alone at house,
so i keep on sleeping..
because I'm afraid of dark and feeling of loneliness..
but no one know

i slept and awake in dizzy

dizzy for the whole day today...

feel like vomit out..

but no one know...

keep blogging and blogging...
but lots of post are just being post and delete straight away
because i have so many things about myself want to talk to
everything that people heard from me are just my happy moment
but when I'm in problem
no one know


those word that hurt me before
keep on playing on my mind recently
those images keep on replaying
it feels like I'm back to the past time again..
i keep remember the worst day of my life..

I'm the evil green monster
I'm jealous
i keep jealous for everything and everyone around me
jealous with the life they have
jealous with the friends they made
jealous with everything..
just everything and every single thing!!!
*************************************************************************************

everyone is back to the place they belong
some even went to vacation
with planning ahead for the weekend...

whenever I'm back..
i cant find a reason of going out..
even if going out, i feel bored..

i planned wanna buy lots of stuff

but everything of those stuff needs money

recently I'm broking

i have to think a lot before i deciding to buy anything

i cant spend money like last time..

studying without income flow in really is a disaster life..

working without a education approvement will destroy your future..

so short pain is better than long pain...

influences of people around by me..

make me even eating, i have to think twice before ordering any meal..

now i have skip my breakfast and lunch...

I'm hungry...

my stomach is drumming every minute..

envy of those people who are born rich

doesn't have to worried bout their education or life style

even if they failed, they still have the cash to make them move on their life

they never suffer the true hunger..

i cant stand with this any longer.. the dizziness that attacking me since i wake up

making me so sick..

even smelling food making me fell nausea..

************************************************************************************

i happily spending my two days at here

without spending a penny or going out..

i just love it!!!

wahahaha~~~

spending my time at my lovely room with my precious baby lappie

watching movie...

THE PROPOSAL

i love sandra bullock, pretty woman..

and the male actor, Ryan, handsome guy..

nice movie.....

TINKERBELL AND THE LOST TREASURE

a nice animation movie..

is a bit childish to watch..

i watch this because of the chinese name

i thought is doraemon the movie..

XD

9

i cant understand the meaning behind this movie

maybe this movie is trying to teach us to treasure our earth more

or ask us not to rely too much on those machinery things

***************************************************************************************

gosh!!

I'm in deep shit..

i keep on procrastinate starting from this semester..

i need motivation to keep on

i need some one to give me a push

so that i can keep going on..

=.='''

but today..

i really cant go out do anything

my head is spinning..

I'm too dizzy...

just dizzy..

standing for more than 5minute is enough for me to feel like vomiting everything out

I'm in deep shit!!!

this is the things that i hate to happen to me..

when will this over...

zzz!!

GO

im trying to let go..

yesterday, i drunk myself with assignment

to let me forget it..

i cant hardly forget what i have done..

i cant forget each word i typed and said

just because i hate you

so i cant control myself for keep on hating on you

im deeply hating you right now..

everything that you said,

i shoot it back..

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!

i should start to avoid you..

just to avoid myself from scolding you..

[did i hate you? or this is just an excuses for me to escape from the reality?]

everything that i type out or anything that came out from my mouth

is never something good

everything start with criticism, pissing, and making fool of some one else

maybe this is the reason everyone started to ignored me one by one

maybe because of this,

everyone started to looked into others

and im will be forever stucking into this small black box of mine..

im trying to control not to let go any of this bad thing came out from my mouth

maybe i should start applied to shut my fucking mouth..

there are time,

when i see other's happily with their friends..

i wanted to join and crap with them..

out of my control, i step backward..

lending ear is easy

lending your heart out ain't easy at all

you have ear..

did you hear?

if you heard...

do you listen?

if you listen...

do your heart listen to it as well?

and if you really listen..

why do you need to listen to it?

this is none of your business..

just like what i said:

there are no good people exicted, only stupid people exicted

so you wanna become the stupid one?

the first perception you gave to others will killed you

and that's why im deeply hurt

i cant back to previous me...

i cant change the way i am now..

hiding in the corner

silently leaving the world

and im all alone

alone

now a songs to represent my whole feelings and who i wanna be from now

BOYS LIKE GIRLS-GO

Little change of the heart

little light in th dark

little hope that you just might find

your way up out of here

'cause you've been hiding for days

wasted and wasting away

but i got a little hope today

you'll face your fears

yeah, i know it's not easy

i know that it's hard

follow the lights to the city

**get up and go

take a chance and be strong

or you could spend your life holding on

don't look back, just go

take a breath, move on

or you could spend your life holding on

you could spend your whole life holding on**

believe the tunnel can end

believe your body can mend

yeah, I know you can make it through

'cause i believe in you

so let's put up a fight

let's go make everything all right

go and take a shot

go give it all you got

oh, yeah, I know it's not easy

I know that it's hard

No, it's not always pretty

(repeat**)

don't wanna wake up to the telephone ring

are you sitting down?

i need to tell you something

enough is enough

you can stop waiting to breath and don't wait up for me

(repeat**)

Don't spend your whole life holding on, yeah

the end

you are rejected 2

human is a selfish living things..
this is true as everyone does thing just to protect themselves..
there is no good people existed
only stupid people existed..
when there is a thing coming to attacking the world..
people will not care bout each other..
no matter how good friend you and other use to be..
one day you will realize that, you will be dump by the one you wouldn't expected to be..

the one you thought who wont betrayed you,
wont back stabbed you...
will be the one who brutally stabbing you and firing you with gun........
just to make sure that they are the one who still alive..
those useless will be eliminate from the game..

i am one of this people..
I'm the one who brutally stabbing others..
just to make sure I'm still survive..
i keep saying other's are a jerk
but in fact..
I'm the devil myself...

just for that guy acknowledgement..
that this guy have truly been rejected from everyone list..
but yet..
he still did not wanted to do something to prove that he is something..
sooner or later..
i guess he will game over...
it seems like everyone love to crap with you [sorry, I'm not interested with you]
but in facts they just hate you..
i mean if they have to do something seriously like assignment?
need not have to mention this guy name here..
i don't think he will know, since he is super duper lazy guy i every met!!
i don't think that he will spend time reading this..

but if you really read bout this..
please change yourself..
this is only for your own goods..
even people like us that just know you less than a year had already feel sick doing homework together with you..
how you expected your life will be when you enter another stage of life??
you expect others to pamper you? feed you? bath you?
take exam for you???
i thought previous semester already gave you a lesson..
but you still so.....[speechless]


when the school start..
i still can face those people..
crapping and joking..
but as the time flow..
and became tenser..
those previous images started to flashed back one by one in my mind..
i started to hate you.. avoid you
i hate to look at you
i hate to talk to you
everything that you said, i feel so uncomfortable and wanna scold back to you
you never talked something with point..
critic on girls or anyone from your mouth make me wanna punch right into your face..
i just hate EVERYTHING of you
whatever thing that related with you..
I HATE IT as well..
I'm sorry.. i cant control myself from doing so..

i keep saying a friend of mine is a jerk for pushing me the responsibility..
but the truth is..
I'm the real jerk..
because I'm the one who started to ignored everything..
pretend innocent and sound like i don't know that you did not even have a group...
AA!!! one is enough for me to start to worry..
and i realize..
9 out of 10[example] people i asked..
also have the same feeling toward those guy that i banned!!
please don't come to me...
i rather be alone with bunch of unknown..
at least the feel can start over again..
it is very hard for me to erase those thinking from my mind..
you leave a deep scar on it..
you couldn't imagine how deep you did this...

till now..
i cant think of anything good you've done to me..
only those bad memory flashing on my mind when i type every single word at here..
courting girl in front of me,
sleeping in front of me,
using the line for stupid reason in front of me..
I'm not acted as a good people to you
but I'm stupid to acted those thing to you..
I'm just stupid enough...
i think I've done a good job.. good job for didn't type any foul word..
[but i cursing you badly in my heart]



the reality of life..
i thought big city people will know it better than village people like me..
okay i will make it full stop at here...
*************************************************************************************

this is happen to me when i started to hate some one...
i only talked to people i love to talked to..
and those rejected from my list..
bye bye..
I called myself rejected did not mean that I'm the rejected one..
part of the reason is because i love to reject other people..
XD
but the main reason is because the passion of music... XD

mid term exam is around the corner..
instead of studying, or doing assignment..
i spending time at here critic on others...
but i just cant help myself to procrastinate every single minute i have with my laptop...

this few days, the time seems so pack.. i don't have time for everything
part of the reason is maybe because of cooking at home..
helping makes me have to sacrifice my sleeping time..
but i do enjoy the cooking time with them.. at least i can learn something..
T.T
semester break make me addicted to sleeping..
i sleep most of the time..
and even less touching my laptop for facebook~ing of blog~ing
spend most of the time doing illegal things..
I'm learning how to control the router..
but still in progress since I'm such a noobie.......


to end this..
i want to apologized for every single things that i talked..
or mine action which make you feel so disgust...

[things that came out from my mouth are all poisonous sting..
i wander how they felt when they being stung..
i better keep my mouth shut..
listen more talked less]

I ❤ K'oke~ing

8/11/2009
i purposely back on that day earlier..
just to catch up with my housemate karaoke activity...
and from around 12 we sang till 6..
haha!!
still got lots of song in queue when the time is up
so you can see how many songs we all have sang
and the moment i like the most
is singing 五月天-离开地球表面!!!
yeah~~ mayday ROCKS TO THE CORE!!!
i think most of us had gone crazy while singing this songs..
cut the craps and let the picture shows the stories...



this two picture taken while singing maydays's song!!
aaaaaaaaaaaa!!!
i love mayday.. just love it..
you can judge how wild the situation are..
5 people rocking the box!!

below are picture that look quite normal.. haha..
for more picture..











that day i really sing my lung out..
even after few hours.. i still cant breath well
and the night.. i fall sick
paracetamol save my life..

****************************************************************************************************************************
monday 9/11/09

due to the financial crisis
all of the housemate agree to try to cook at home instead of eating outside
although we cooked before last semester..
but also once in a blue moon..
and now..
yes!! again, lets the picture done all the crapping..


Chef Of The Day

all busy doing something...
while im busing testing food.. XD




three dishes and a soup..
but main things is the soup
aha~ delicious~~~
hohoho!!!



i might not be in the picture,
doesn't mean i did not do anything..
haha~~
but the food were enjoyable..


p/s:jogging tomorrow?

you are rejected!!

this few days..
lots of unknown people started to add me..
especially those little kids..
i think is my junior..
but this junior are way too small from me..
such as 97's kiddo adding me? [i guess it base on their email]
I'm not trying to said that I'm getting popular or what..
but the point that i wanted to share with you all is the
ridiculous question they ask or answer

okay let me give you an example
orange@coldmail.com add me
the conversation was something like this

orange: hi!! [with lots of icon.. make me have to see what the alphabet is by clicking it =.=]
rejected: oh hi... who are you??
orange: I'm orange..
rejected: oh hi orange.. i know you??
[=.= this is the stupid answer i receive.. like i cant see your name on your email... but since this is a kiddo... so i patiently asking question again]
orange: no you don't know me
rejected: oooo
orange: oo what??
rejected: i 'oo' that you don't know me lor
[wtf??!! I'm controlling myself not to split any foul word.. ooooo is what??? I'm totally speechless]
orange:okay bye
rejected: bye
orange: haha bye bye
[what is so funny with bye bye??]

yeah bye bye and you are rejected from the list..
opps!! you are not even added into the list yet...
zzz!!!
lame conversation..
i thought if you really are my junior,
you can understand simple english??
who are you?? and you answer back something that so surface...
zzz!!!!
if you added me six month ago..
i might can still entertain and crap awhile with you

this happen also at my friendster and facebook friend list..
yep.. i might accepted friend request..
but few days or weeks later..
i will start deleted all those unknown..
part of my entertainment..
haha!!
i cant understand why people love to add so many people at their friend list
and i can bet most of them are unknown..


and now..
I'm trying to reject those phone call with unknown number...
especially these start with 010 and with special hyper VIP number (as I'm avoiding people right now)

OG!! i rejected a lot of things..
haha!!

hoping tomorrow will be a better days..
im totally addicted to Boys Like Girls, The All American Rejects and Crowd..
i cant get my ear off from you!!
your music doze me away from the reality


you came into my life...
you know that it all takes my breath away
so maybe it's true
that i can't live without you
there's so much time
to figure out the rest of my life
that you've already got me coming undone
and I'm thinking two
is better than one
you make it hard for breathing
i think of you and everything's okay
and finally now, we're leaving
[part of the lyric from Two Is Better Than One- Boys Like Girls featuring Taylor Swift]