too much hope, too much pressure

hmmm what a nice phrase.. i learn it from my father... suppose to say my father scold me with that... he said to me two time before.. ' hey!! everyone [fan tao] do ppl but you [fan gao] do ppl'.. hmmm.. he said so because, i love to sleep and the way i do thing also quite lazy(superb lazy)... i lay in sofa watch tv, eat also laying, read book also laying, very seldom see me sitting at home, except when im using computer.. haha

i started to learn lesson from the phrase my father give it to me.. well today i went to school and everyone in my class started to skip school since attandence are not going to take anymore.... there are only 4 ppl in my class who are still very hard working to come... haha.. acctually i like the feeling of my class atmosphere today, quite and calm.. atleast i manage to study 3chapter( chap1 to chap3 ==) of my genereal paper1... study chemistry and math.. well then, i will keep it up and fight for it.. i mean fight for STPM...

i remember, i dream i gotten my STPM result and i get 2A.. so happy with it.. this make me really wanna make the dream come true.. although there are only left around 1 month time before the exam.. i hope i can cover every subject...

i study and study and study, yesterday, i try to remember what i study last month and i found out i forget everything.. haih.. how i hope, there will be a ppl help me.. how to help me? wwll, i hope there can be a person, close friends if can, scold me... look down on me... say to me
'aiya, see your trial result also can know, you cant score well for STPM la, give up ba'
or
'i wonder what are you doing in here, there aer a more suitable place for you lo.. THE STORE will always open their big door waiting for you'
lol
XD

too harsh? yep!! this is what i want.... maybe this will make me angry and i want to prove to everyone that i can do it.. I REALLY CAN DO IT!!!!

too many ppl put alot of hope on me.. they still thought i can do it, since im too 'clever'... some even say atleast 3A u can get...and i stunt... and thought, i havent show u my report card since i enter form6, once i show you, you sure take back what you had said just now... hahaha... pressure started can be felt as time pass.. with the hope my parent, my relative and my parent friends(huh?), i started to get nervous for the exam..
huh!!! i still want to enter UNIVERSITY, find a good job with HIGH PAID salary..
so crap too much and day dreaming too much everday are no use, i better start to fan tao.. yea!!

another big step that i had take to start fan tao~ing is:

1.go to school everyday(huh!! hope i can do it, u must be thinking what the point of going school since teacher are not going to teach anymore.. well well your thinking are too narrow, stay at home will make me felt sleepy or end up playing computer game or watch tv, so i rather wake up a bit early and spend 5hour at school, maybe i can study at there)

2.start to ignore my friends(erm, i mean not going out with them, and cancel all the party invitation.. sorry ya.. hehe)


promise to myself: not to let down my father and mother hope on me...
crap of the day:'fan tao' dun 'fan gao'(read it in canton) |fight dont sleep|