hold it

ok.. now only i realize, being good people cant satisfied everyone(not me)
an example is that there is a bad people and good people...
when a bad people did a bad thing or something.. everyone will not take it as big deal..
but when a good people did something or say something bad just once!! ONCE, people will started to say bad bout this good people....
ok maybe the way this good people express the bad thing is a bit over, so people can accept it?
(this is just an example, I'm not trying to said that who is bad and who is good, i have a poor usage of english, so i dont know want how to describe this story, so the character i use is good and bad)

i don't know why, maybe it's been a very long time i dint spend time with my friends, Ive change since i work for 4 month..
I've interacting with my workmate more than 8hours a day.. so, we played a lot.. and talked a lot too..
we are not the simple nice way of talking, we shooting ad teasing each other, in a very mean way, very MEAN.. and we act it as a joke and no one keep this joke in heart..
maybe i adapted to this kind of communication style.. so the way I'm talk will be a bit harsh..
and now, when i started to talked with my friends, i have to think twice whether will hurt their feeling or not.. sometime i just cant hold it and pop~~~ it outs..
i don't know it firstly then i think back(yea talk to my friend i usually think back what i had said) they are not my workmates, and guiltiness started to twistering in my mind, should i apologize( of course not, because I'm not that type of human who will said sorry to other)

why i need to think twice wheni talked with my friends?
is because im too care of what they think of me. im not willing to hurt or break our relationship... that all



sometime i just miss my workmates...
miss the time we played and teasing each other...