►Rejected Bloggies◄

2012-02-16T20:04:00.000+08:00

a reason is needed

to motivate someone

to do something

there is no right or wrong in this world

people defined it right, when there is a lot of people protesting that it is even it isn't

majority always win

most of the time,

i choose to be with the minority

though they are wrong in the perspective of others

but if,

if you take a minute

and stand on their shoes

and act on behalf on them..

what will you do?

everyone make stupid mistake once awhile

but wait,

stupid mistake?

how do we defined it as stupid mistake?

just because i the only one think that it is a mistake and a stupid mistake

so everyone must be on my side and think that it is a stupid mistake

ya,

i have been very bad in judging people lately

due to all those stupid thought i made...

on how i defined right and wrong

on how other's people accept my definition

well,

im not trying to said that i am a super good person

in most of the stories happen among friends,

im just a neutral outsider..

analyzing it alone...

angry, disappointed or upset we must!

but shall all of us,

look back sometime

far more behind before all those stories happen

what make us till today before this

worth or not worth it,

is you, your own to judge it..

admitting mistake and saying sorry

accepting mistake and apologize

i hope one day

u will realize

the importance of things you owned in the past

2012-02-13T20:51:00.000+08:00

one sad thing i discover is

no one to share and talk about it together

sigh

i guess,

it might be funner if there is someone working together with me

im jealous

jealousy make me keep envy and talk how good other's ppl life is

how about me?

i paint the night in silent

2012-02-09T22:19:00.000+08:00

once

i paint myself black tonight

2012-02-05T17:23:00.001+08:00

说自己不懂的和别人沟通

要不如说，没人懂得我的话题

没人想听

没人想知

不是自己心事重重

很多事不说出来

因为觉得你不会懂

也尝试过说出来，

看到别人冷淡的回应，

最后，

漫漫的

自己变成什么都不说了。

以前，

会很讨厌这世界，

不给我一个他

可以明白

我所看见

我想象的世界

我说的故事

明白我的安静世界

笑笑我的欢乐世界

现在

不在讨厌这世界了

不知不觉

我漫漫的变得很自私

想要

一个人

享受

在

自己觉得的美

如果你说，你了解我

当我自己也不了解我自己

不知道，

自己喜欢的和讨厌的是什么

你到底，知道我些什么？

你的好，全部人知

我的好，到底有人知吗？

还是，我根本就够不好

我不了解自己

我无法把自己去解释自己到底是怎样的一个人

只知道，我很确定

没有任何人，喜欢或自持我的喜欢

很喜欢把我的喜欢当成笑话，

直到，有一天

你喜欢上我的喜欢

而我，只能像个傻瓜

在后面支持你的喜欢...

在了解自己的过程中，

反而

更加了解身边人的一切。

是我太骄傲了吗？

还是，说到最后

我根本就是不会沟通的人？

我也不知道...

是我把自己关注太久了吗？

很多小时候的事

想不起来了

记忆力变得很差很差，

听觉变得很差很差，

味觉变得很差很差。

我会怕

在听不见你的声音，

在看不见你的存在，

会忘了这一切的感觉

会忘了你他她和它

最害怕

你会忘了我

自己要求很多事

就算有办法去实现。

到最后，还是被拒

漫漫的也变成不敢去实现自己要求的一切

被拒绝很多次

不代表，再次被拒绝不会感到痛

每次

都把世界看成很多不一样的镜片

要看到不一样的世界

看不明白我写了这么长的文章？

我自己也看不明，

因为

我写不出

我心

我脑

还有我

想告诉你的事

最后

我

还是

选择

安静

不再

讨厌

世界

不给

明白

我的

一切

2012-02-01T22:02:00.000+08:00

the first roundabout in my life

very creepy even to think of it

even creepier when im on it

huge relieve after i get trough it

phew~

car in big city indeed moving very fast and close

is a good good day

and good night ^^

to success or not

is still a question

2012-01-30T21:03:00.001+08:00

开工大吉

还真的很吉

老板给了一封很大的红包

三数目！还比我想象的三数目还要大！

真的很好意头的数目 ^^

老板开始给我做一些比较有关于公司的小小的大事

又在开始慢慢的学习中

一切都很顺利…

谢谢老板对我的好

也要谢谢同事姐姐对我的好

还真的遇到很多贵人帮助 :)

不知不觉，

四个星期已过了

我也开始慢慢的适应一切的不习惯

漫漫的接受，

漫漫的喜欢，

这里的一切…

每早，

漫漫的走去公司，

享受着早上的美…

喝着热热的 teh tarik

观察人们忙碌生活…

有时，不知不觉的笑了

可能已不再担心一切的担心

努力的不去想一切不可能发生的悲哀

努力的去做好今天

就这样的

笑了 :)

买了个手表

超级的爱它

有一种久久的感觉

找他找了很久很久~

有三年没戴手表了

learn

2011-12-27T00:10:00.005+08:00

Christmas just ended few days ago,
i had a good time chatting with some friends of mine
talking about anything to nothing
except for something which i dislike and everything just turn awkward in a sudden
*friend i apologize of my sudden rudeness, i did that because i hate it if people bring out this issues in public*

i may love to request a lot in front of you
i hope you can do this, i wish you can do that
but in fact,
I'm not
most of the time,
I'm just saying it just to make a chit chat topic
but not with my bbf of course.. i really expect my bbf will do it..
:P
learn not to make blank promises
learn not to give other pressure with those 'wants' i wish to get from them

i make mistake,
though i knew part of it is not my mistake
i just admit it to prevent further argument..
i hate to look at myself in anger
i hate myself when i start to talk back in anger..
i dislike myself behave like a bitch
is not that I'm pretending to be goodmannerorinnocent baby.
just nod, smile and say sorry..
learn to control my anger aka anger management

my parent dislike me spending money on those unnecessary stuff
such as cleansing foam
yeah, i never use cleansing foam/facial in home,
just wash with plain water or soap?
for them, it is unnecessary to clean your face with those stuff,
if your face turn uglier (with pimples and or dark spot)
they simply put on blame on that facial stuff..
LOL this is my mama, kinda cute
what i wanna buy they will say NO
so most of the things i want to buy is still on the wanted list
thanks to them, i save a lot
sometime when think back, i maybe does not need those stuff
learn to control my eager to buy things
learn to differentiate needs and wants..

i dump my friends a lot
most of my friends,
I'm not the one who will take the first move to say hello
maybe i should change that and start saying hello
learn to be extrovert instead of introvert
learn to use verbal instead of nonverbal communication

learn not to look down on myself
instead of saying i can't or I'm not
tried saying now you're not/can't but not in future

people who know this,
i guess only one..
i run away instead of facing it..
if it give the feeling of insecure and make me want to run away
is it indicate that i hate it?
or im just not prepare for it..
learn to accept
learn not to avoid
learn a proper way to avoid.. LOL
till now i still avoiding it, this is totally creepy =.= i know I'm bad
I'm still living in my own world
world that won't give me hurt and everything is under my control.
i am not prepare to step out from my own world yet.

learn to in love with tea
this is random haha
i heard that tea can help to reduce weight
i keep eat and eat non-stop since the sem break start
met with lots of relatives and friends
all of them said: 'wow thin dy, kampar no food eat?'
i don't know i should believe it or not whether i really thin or is just a sentences to say instead of hello
my face is getting chubbier and the pants is getting tighter
symptom of getting fat..
i need to be more thinner
every year resolution to be thin but i failed...
is a good thing of going internship alone,
i wanna make a huge makeover if possible LOL (at least thinner)
trying to avoid seeing my friends this five months,
see what will they said to me after five month xD

learn to dress well
i think i need to improve in this
since i born till now,
i don't have any fashion sense though i love to see how well people dress
when it come to buying cloth to myself
i epic-ly failed
should i find someone to blame? xD
yeap my parent again of course, they keep giving me the impression that our family are actually poor
we are so damn poor that i couldn't buy a shirt which is expensive than rm15
we are so damn poor that i couldn't buy a pant which is expensive than rm30
but now everything changes,
we have e-commerce, lots of online shop with cheap deal...
but then, even i bought those awesome apparel that definitely make yourjawdrops
i couldn't wear out, i still prefer t-shirts and pants
well then just forget bout this,
stick back to t-shirts and pants.. :P
by the way, we are still poor Orz

with all this so many things to learn
i take it all as resolution of the upcoming years

end this post with a song from The Click Five that promoting awareness about human traffic
love them

2011-12-22T18:58:00.004+08:00

superstitious me
everytime looking at the clock
it would be double same

***************************************

a friend tell me that my blog is dull
is even more dull with those sleepinggenretype songs
i change it, but with only a songs..
zzz
i cant add in songs in it, i dont know why

okay
the purpose of blogging today ain't suppose to talk bout this
but internship stuff had been keep making me so frust
other's seems happy and satisfied leaving school for internship
while me.. erm, i don't know what to say

i choose alone go interview to a company
why?!
most of my classmate all decided not to intern
some who are lucky enough to be born at big city, can intern at company near them
my parent keep said i am stupid enough to go alone
i was thinking, when i grew up later,
i was suppose to go alone also, what is the different?
the most stupid thing i had to admit is letting go the other opportunity
sigh, not to mention bout it anymore...

at first i suppose to feel relieve..
aaah~ finally there is a company willing to hire me
but now, intern at a Ipoh is not easy..
no transportation, u die
people keep telling me the public transportation is not as punctual as those in kl
no accommodation yet,
next week gonna start my job, and i haven't found a place for me to sleep
the place i wanna go, my parent wouldn't allow
the place my parent want me to go, i don't feel like going..
urgh!

i don't wanna trouble other relative or friends
my face is not that thick enough
one week is already enough killing my pride..
my parent keep want the best for me
as what they said,
im a girl, that is the real problem..

if keeping me safe till the end,
when would i be able to grow?
just like driving car..
keep did not let me drive it,
now, i feel like a loser and you keep saying is my fault for not drive it out
and now keep pushing me to drive ==

im not saying that is my parent fault for all this mess..
most of it is my fault too for too obedient (LOL wtf is it?)
whatever
things had come to here and i need to think of things to clear it up

this saturday and sunday gonna spend a day trip to there to search for room

sigh~

i am too tired to enjoy my holiday after i came back to home

all i wanna do is just lay down and sleep

enjoy reading my books with music i like with a cup of hot drinks

online and watching video from facebook and youtube

i just love to stay at home silently without disturbance

and all of it,

gonna end soon

start with hate, end with love

2011-12-20T01:02:00.003+08:00

Last night at here..
gonna miss everything at here for 5months

the first thing
the foods
<3
nasi lemak

the second things
my friends
:D
im gonna superdupermissingyoualllikehell
please miss me too
5month times,
we gonna meet up again
each of us
must turn pretty and handsome^^

..........................................

some random picture

the before and the after

i use a total of 3hour plus to clean plus packing
pack all those stuff in need for 5 months
2 years at here, and i accumulate damn lots of rubbish
#tiredlikehell

the last picture
snap yesterday while reading for the last paper
ah ah~

#########################

can't believe that it had been two year plus i stayed here
time flew fast when i start to enjoyed it
i still remember how much i hate everything at here during the 1st year
:)
think back,
i had been silly
i had been crazy
i had been moody
i had been happy
i had been touch
every emotion that mix up and make me up what i am today
and yeah,
im slowly in love with what i am doing now
so in love with everything at here :3
thank you

start with hate
end with love
im gonna miss u

2011-12-17T14:09:00.002+08:00

你怎么
拥有
让我感动的能力

你怎么
总是可以
让我爱上你

你怎么
总是可以
让我忘了一切
很沉迷的
感觉
很沉迷的
感受
很沉迷的
往进
第二人生

就算世界再多残忍
你让我
望着星空
不觉得一个人孤单

漫漫的
像个傻瓜一样
努力的追梦
有些事現在不做一輩子都不会做了
OAOA~

很想学guitar

很痴迷爱上你
五月天

水瓶

2011-12-17T12:19:00.002+08:00

今天
很不开心
倍半我度过六年的亲爱的水瓶
不见了
！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

考试时
明明还在，
回家的路上感到很不安
结果还给我猜对了
我忘了它
T.T
用很快的速度
回到学校，
找完了整个课室
垃圾桶
都没看到它

打扫阿婶
为什么
你那么勤劳

六年的回忆
就只剩下
这四张照片吧~

你我的回忆
我会记得！
你我的感情
我会怀念！

T.T
伤心死了

可不可以
再次
出现在我面前？

***********************
第八号作品
2012
我要！

我的电话

2011-12-15T22:11:00.005+08:00

不懂从几时开始

不喜欢电话了

并不讨厌

而是，不像以前那样

非常的需要

去到那都要有它

还常会以为电话响了

现在

漫漫的忘了它存在

出去也不带

还忘了，自己放了什么铃声

它对我最重大的意义

就是闹钟

没它，每晚我会感到不安

因为除了它没人会叫醒我

啊~ 啊~

电话 = 闹钟

打电话？ = 电脑？

信息？ = msn? plurk? facebook?

对于它，朋友们和家人

感到很抱歉...

朋友，我会连家人的电话都忘了接

所以，不要怪我没回你信息

不要怪我不接你电话

但说真的，

我也很懒惰去回信息

*i mean those message which more than 2 hours old, unless very important..

somehow it depends, even if i receive a message,i also won't replying you because i don't want further replying due to laziness LOL..

maybe i hate this kind of commitment,

i must reply! it is a must! <-some sort like this.. i tied in this commitment when i start to reply

and also ending it~

it was like who going to end this sms..

and the ending message all went weird weird..

eg: okok!, haha! <- no point right?*

我也不会打回去

*unless more than 2miss calls or 2 day u continuous call back* <-(this is how i treat my family)

p/s: those are for some cases only.. im not always like that..

maybe due to the hand pain, im getting lazier to press phone..

pain ler!

one example when i will get totally absorb pressing my phone is

when i'm getting into an awkward meeting/reunion/chit chatting session

somebody please save me out from there!

but i guess, i will spend most of the time wandering around rather than pressing my phone :P

**************************************************

话说

要过年了

过了圣诞

就播这首歌~

never knew why,

whenever listen to new year songs..

eye start get teary..

when started grew up,

new years doesnt really mean new years and getting angpao plus family reunion..

it do mean something special..

well

this is

a very good remix..

combine lots of new year songs

and video shooting whole over Malaysia!

pretty Malaysia :)

*guess you never figure out

the 1st song on my playlist is actually a christmas song

sad Christmas*

2011-12-13T23:04:00.002+08:00

以前，

看到别人

一个人吃饭，

一个人逛街，

一个人的在生活

会觉得，

他

怎么找出这种勇气

怎么去习惯这种习惯

而我，

死也不要一个人..

就算饿了

就算闷了

都不要自己一个人出去

感觉很傻

看到朋友或家人

一个人的话，

会想尽办法

去陪陪他们

总觉得，

一个人的感觉

很孤单，

很恐怖，

所以，

就是不要他们有这种感觉

do you want to know?

2011-12-10T23:32:00.003+08:00

Life,

never felt satisfied by one.

keep moving on.

though i had failed it.

though i had to bare with all those negative comments.

though i had never been accepted.

life never stop,

bullying me.

i treat it as

game

if i lose it,

i gain experience.

if i win it,

i brag about it :)

###############################

how do you define ugly?

how ugly is ugly?

how do you define pretty?

how pretty is pretty?

am i ugly or pretty?

my life is ugly?

my life is pretty?

pretty and ugly

is not an issue

but most people make a big fuss with it.

###############################

keep asking myself with all stupid question,

i want to know what other think i am.

i want to know if they understand what i'm trying to let them know what i know

i want to know,

what i know,

they don't know

will they want to know it?

###############################

saying no to not know what other want to let you know

is very rude!

i hate!

yet,

there are still people don't want to know it.

simple example,

u mute my player..

i had just change some new songs

don't you wanna know what i love? ^^

just crapping stuff..

thanks for reading it

and

thanks for listening to my playlist ♡

2011-12-06T19:33:00.002+08:00

things had been going on too smoothly

i get what i want, i get what i wish for

sometimes, i just scare that i get too much, i had to return more

can't help myself being greedy

i guess,

that is what i want most..

that's the reason of me being so sad till cried..

sigh~

i let go the good opportunity..

i hope the other company will treat me good~

just move forward and hope for the best

international company..

i guess someday in future,

with my own capabilities

i can still create the opportunity

with this blog post..

im gonna end my moody feeling over this internship

study hard hard to recover back my cpga!

all the best my friends

2011-11-21T23:13:00.002+08:00

study time is pack,

i am not regretting taking so much subjects this semester..

in fact,

i'm enjoying it (i guess),

dealing with rushing assignment,

midterm,

quiz,

and also finding internship for next semester..

i make a lot of stupid mistake..

i learn from it,

learn a lot,

especially for job interview,

and

job finding..

i listen a lot of talk from some famous company..

then only i realize how tiny i am,

how weak i am..

measuring my capability,

asking myself,

do i qualify?

am i good enough?

one year left in university,

and i still think i din't grow up much yet

wanted to use the time left to really wake myself up..

by the way,

i found an intern job..

i'm not sure whether it suit me or not..

a friend of mine once told me,

'wasted 30k but end up doing something else?'

kinda true,

i decided to use this intern period to try to love the thing i study..

hopefully,

everything,

will went smoothly

my assignment went super smoothly..

my group mates and i cracked head to think of a new ideas..

in the end,

lecturer accepted it

and

we also won a chance to enter a competition..

muahahaha!

if really enter the competition,

i wonder did i have time to blog, facebook and sleep?

hahaa~

we will see how things goes later..

some random pictures ♥

my big big table that accompany me study

(though im using a smaller one now :P)

when me vs assignment

(macam very rajin hor)

a little thing i did for flea market

and also for the future future market ♥

please support me at lomo-ing

last

for 11/11/11

pepero days!

cant find any pepero at here

so i duplicate it with rocky ♥

the end ♥

自卑

2011-11-15T14:51:00.003+08:00

以前
会觉得
自己不够美
而很自卑

除了不够美
还觉得自己不够好

努力把自己
解脱这些想法

努力
不比较

努力
去接受

努力
去享受生活
看看不一样的世界

努力的
呼吸
这世界的美

用很多逃避方式
就这样
我活过来

最近
自卑感又来了
不够美
不够好
不够聪明
一直怪自己不够努力

这世界
这社会
接受不了
我的
太多的不完美

找了几个朋友
想说说
最近
我很伤心
但
还没开的了口
就被拒绝

每次都会将
在我最低落的侍候
没有人在
没有人愿意把事情丢下
听听我说话

因为某些原因
和几个朋友
呆在一起
听着他们聊聊天
还真的要谢谢他们
如果没有的话
我可能
在家
一个人
安静下来的时候
更想不开

真的
很想
哭出来

现在
静静
一个人
想了好多

其实
我算是什么嘛
哪里有资格去要求
哪里有资格去烦人
别傻了
下次
不要在去烦人

寻找爱？
其实
知道自己有很多的不好
要求可能从很高
变的很低
很怕失望
把很多事都看得很重
这些想法
在中学才敢要求
现在
让它活在幻想里
不要想太多了

幸运的是
我还有
家
开着门
等我回

累啊

手疼到很够力一下
忙完了
想好好的睡觉

完。

暗恋幸福

2011-10-30T22:28:00.003+08:00

暗恋是很幸福

没压力

就单纯的喜欢

无限的想象

他，

到底是个怎样的人

他，

可以是个怎样的人

他，

可以跟着我情绪而改变

他，

可以是很多人任何一个人

他，

在很远但很近

虽然知道现实的他

很坏

但

暗恋他

在我幻想世界里

很完美

不懂从几时开始

喜欢一个人发呆

就开始想起他

开始傻傻的笑

梦见他，

多希望可以睡久一点

喜欢听他喜欢的歌

喜欢看他的照片

喜欢听他的声音

喜欢他的歌

喜欢他的可爱

虽然朋友都说他是假的

我还是喜欢

很喜欢 ♥

就这样

我暗恋了许多的人

啊啊~

每天都有不同的暗恋之旅

不必担心，只是写到很开心

夸大很多 :P

너무 너무 너무 좋아해

진짜 행복하기 ♥

*****

最近流行虫虫和猫猫

自己也做了一个

本人最喜欢灰色猫猫

因为他也有一个 ^^

2011-10-30T01:34:00.002+08:00

procrastinating again

i sleep vigorously when i trying to avoid something..

=.=

spending time thinking what to do and how to do

wasted time which can actually doing it..

yeeehah~!

i wonder with this kind of attitude,

i can or can not survive in the society in future

acting cute might help?

heeeeeeeeeee? :S

sorrie...

2011-10-27T03:46:00.003+08:00

i dislike to mirror myself,

one small reason is, i often get shocked by myself O_O

one main reason is, once i look at the mirror, i spend hours on it..

looking at myself for hours~ =.=

i cut my hair..

previously i din't realize

after spend an hour looking at mirror..

i realize, i look fugly!

i regret after looking at the beautiful long fringe by others

should just tahan! :(

=.=

the end

2011-10-14T01:00:00.006+08:00

gardening part 2

=.=

the soil is too chemical, the seed wont grow..

SAD.. I'm really looking forward for it to grow,

pop out at least a tiny root will do? :.(

my father and lil bro when to dig another kind of soil from other places..

so i mix those two soil together..

hopefully this time, it will grow~

thanks to my father and lil bro for helping me :D

tomorrow morning have to go out,

several things i need to do:

1) do some survey for item need to buy for school society

2) check out some hat/cap

3) develop my filmsss (if i have money, i think my purse left only RM1 with several coins xD)

4) snap some random pictures?

result release,

though it is not a very good result,

i feel blessed..

little bit disappointed (maybe), study quite hard for several subject but end up.. sigh~

never mind.. try harder for next semester..

semester break gonna end soon!

yeah!

can't wait for it,

think i am recharge for the upcoming semester,

getting more excited maybe because this year gonna end soon..

I'm really looking forward for what is going to be happen next year :P

plus plus,

i think i have get rid a little bit of my stick-to-home diseases,

though home is nice,

but living alone let me have a different perspective on it..

i start to enjoy and live in the word of freedom..

the time left is getting lesser and lesser,

i want to do more, see more, taste more, listen more, sense more and try more

with no regret..

kakaka, I'm getting inspired with those independent living style

watch too much drama and movie,

love the beautiful way they living...

I'm going to be one too in future (hope so :P)

for next upcoming semester

with packed timetable and little add-on schedule..

things will be going to be a little bit busy..

going to make a little pledge here:

1)no skipping class for sleeping

that's all...

end this post with SS pictures...

face getting bigger and eyes getting smaller..

going to stick with spec, at least the spec lenses make my eye slightly bigger xD

and and

my hair..

i don't know how to describe it..

=.=

cut it?

next semester gonna live as one-eyed girl

kns hair :P

recently so into my blog music..

2011-10-11T11:36:00.002+08:00

environment make me change to who i am now..

sometime not i don't want

is you make me feel like it is unnecessary to do so..

and in the end,

i will choose to be the one you think i am

you know, i hate you judging me..

misjudging!

you never care and bother to know more about me,

yet you pretend as if you know a lot about me..

and keep telling what you think i am to other people

sigh.. i don't care much and don't want to care much what you tell other people..

i don't want to give back any comment or feedback..

treat it as a joke

did not complain much as i shouldn't blame kids

only kids behave like this...

a place for us

2011-10-07T20:51:00.000+08:00

somehow

someday

sometime

somewhere

there is a place for us

6/10/2011

2011-10-06T19:36:00.003+08:00

The White

The Black

working is tiring and boring..

to make one pack,

need 100pcs plastic bag..

one plastic approximately one second to make it..

everyday keep counting from one to fifty repeatedly..

time pass so slow,

so sleepy yet can sleep, (one small mistake, say goodbye to your finger)

so tired yet cant rest for more than one minute,

each two minute sit for 20-30 seconds?

no people to see,

only the machine chopping the plastic,

I'm bored till counting each of the plastic..

playing around with ruler..

watching the second ticking tocking...

working is tiring..

back to home,

lying like a dead fish,

doesn't feel like moving.. :P

today went to deliver stock with my dad,

coconut factory..

the first time i see sea of coconut,

the floor is full of coconut shell and coconut dust..

so hard to breath...

no picture took..

hmm, small town at here got so many interesting small industry...

learn lots of thing...

Gardening Diary

2011-10-02T20:38:00.004+08:00

is been awhile,

one of my most realistic dream is to see a real sunflower plants..

i never saw a real one before, all this while i get close to fake one or see through pictures..

so i make my mind to plant one!

so i can see the every stage of sunflower growth..

therefore, few months ago (lol, I've been very busy)
I bought a packet of sunflower seed..

heee :)

done a little research,

in order to the sunflower to start bloom,

it need around 3-5months..

hmm, hope i can be able to see them grow~

base on the seed name,

the outcome should be something like the picture belows

omg totally love it ♥, hopefully the package description dint cheat me

with a little strength digging some soil (good soil) from my fathers workplace..

around 100kg? or 80kg? to fill up this 4 'little' pots..

superb thanks to my little brother who done a lot of hard work loading all those heavy packets of soil with me..

i couldn't finish it fast with my own energy..

my mum said, the soil may contain lots of chemical

therefore must be wash by rain (water) for two-three days first..

tadaa~ this is how my little pot looks like...

a big pot, two medium pot and one slightly smaller than the medium one..

pray for a good rain this few days,

so that it can wash away all the chemical for my baby sunflower to grow healthier

i'll update again when i start planting it :)

ps: happy vegetarian days~

2011-09-28T18:44:00.002+08:00

bloggy full of dust and i even forgotten the key to enter it..

luckily i manage to retrieve it back..

is been awhile..

the past few week full of stress, joy and sad~

overall 30% stress, 15%joy and sad 55%.

reason i don't want to blog is for sure is going to increase my stress and sadness.. :P

but everything had past tense, now i should focus on praying hard that i wont failed any subjects this semester.. Orz

semester break start,

instead of choosing earning money working somewhere else..

i choose to work with my parents..

sigh..

it should be happy, try to be cheerful for work..

everytime i went to work with them, for sure i will end up thinking a lots of negative things

but

kids nowadays really should follow their parents work for a day..

to feel themselves how hard their parent earn those money for them..

when they pay money eat kfc/sushi king or any luxury foods for lunch,

what is your dad having? nasi lemak with teh ais? mihun goreng?

the place my father work is kinda far away from the town,

not many thing can be choose to eat,

sometime my mum choose to buy some foods at 6am and bring it to work for lunch

food such as nasi lemak.. (the very small size without ayam) or fried mee with mihun (RM1)

one people only one packets...

zzzz! i still can survive with that foods till 6pm,

but i dont know bout my dad and mum..

not everyday they having this, they got go out to the nearby shop to eat nasi campur..

the point is not bout what they eat, is how they spend their money on the food compare with us..

most of the reason i starve myself is i am lazy, but is also because my mum and dad who spend a little money for food.. i as their child, zzzz.. what can i say..

talk bout working...

the machine making problem is quite headache...

the backside of my dad,

though all the people talking bad bout him, but i still love him...

only until working with him, i can understand how much stress he is baring through himself though he never tell us...

T.T

my mum...

looking at the window... peeping the uncle who construct factor

they are getting old, and yet still be able to be so hardworking...

everyday wake up at 6am+, sleep at 12am+

even me who still sleeping keep finding excuses to skip the work (but in the end, i still manage to be awake)

sigh...

i seldom talk about my family..

and things about me..

too much unhappy thing that i am scare to shared out..

recently, my dad break his shoulder bone,

my mum hospitalized due to bee stings..

workers making lot of trouble and more more trouble keep coming..

that why during study week,

i accident and bump into others people car( cost me hundreds+!)

with pain all over body, i still bared it through..

i dint tell my parent or anyone about my pain.. till i get back home..

just dont want to make people unnecessary panic since i am still alive..

sleep for two days and heal it and in the end, i get sicked.. =.=

that time, how i wish i was crash died right in the spot during accident..

trying to tell someone but i dont know who to tell and how to tell...

i don't know since when, i became more and more mouth tight to tell out my stuff..

i keep have the mindset that, nobody owe to listen to your damnful life..

or they wont be interested,helped.. they are busy.. i am not deserve

with lots of stupid excuses..

i have many friends but when it come to asking for help.. it was like zero

i think there should be many, but i just don't dare to ask..

not because i am being arrogant.. it was just all those stupid excuses that i think others ppl will throw back to me...

i am really afraid i will make them disappointed this time...

please let me through this semester..

today while working, there is lot of thing in my mind i want to share it out,

but when i am here..

i am 100% blank..

bye bloggie..

i will update some happy stuff if i passed all the subject this semester

so bless me well~

muack, thanks for reading my lame post..

2011-08-04T05:33:00.002+08:00

with the sarcastic mind of mine

i think i am deserve to left alone

with them,

im idiot

or they treat me like an idiot?

2011-07-20T20:06:00.005+08:00

tell myself..

don't cry!

don't be a cry baby like last time...

cry mean i lose to stress..

need to bare through this stage...

what should i do to overcome this feeling

2011-07-19T16:20:00.001+08:00

not feeling good

try not complaining..

end up feeling so down..

if i complained, what people will think bout me?

suck it up! your own problem what..

2011-07-15T05:33:00.001+08:00

Don't give me hope..

Don't bring me hope..

This kind of action,

will make me expect things gonna happen..

i put lots of expectation toward it...

Orz

2011-07-09T03:05:00.002+08:00

deep thought,

only realize....

please just let me had more courage..

i wonder, can i dump it all and move on..

if that is what you meant,

i will put less expectation,

i will be more silent,

i wont stress anyone with my own problem..

i just wish the night be a bit longer,

i wanna stare at the darkness a bit longer...

the boring, simple and normal life...

2011-07-02T15:09:00.001+08:00

my eye keep dropping tear of pain recently...

without me knowing it,

it started to flow down..

2011-07-02T01:00:00.001+08:00

im turning to be hater..

i hate everything around me,

i hate everything that they did..

i hate myself

i hate them...

i hate the life..

i hate it all..

i hate

hate

HATE

2011-07-01T11:34:00.000+08:00

I am drowning in the sea of depression..

2011-06-28T08:20:00.002+08:00

i change a little bit of myself..

frankly it did boost a little of my confident for a little while,

then i realize everything still the same,

i am still me..

Orz

i can't change the true-self me...

by the way,

a friend of mine once posted,

at the end, size do matter..

not only size matter, the way you look, the personality..

the world is cruel with criticizer with their non stop critic without even mirror themselves 1st before start comment or comparing others..

well i am one of those, but i guess my mouth still filtered 50% :P

the point of im blogging here today is,

im turning old..

i really hate celebration...

what is the point celebrating birthday, wasting your money for someone like me?

someone like me who never really help out a lot as a friend..

maybe i scare to get old..

scare to get old while all my wishes still left undone..

unrealistic me think of lots of wishes that will never come true..

and still, i do hope it will someday..

someday, that person will realize it, and said

Happy Birthday to me^^

I'm waiting

2011-06-22T03:33:00.002+08:00

something is bothering me recently

i don't know how to explain it..

the feeling came to me again..

where i wanna shut myself from outside with only music accompany with everything..

sorry,

i may have been very aggressive recently,

i cant find the good EQ me anymore..

i try to force myself to entertain myself to laugh more..

sometime, it just don't work,

i'll back becoming more aggressive and won't talk or start teasing everything that other try to tell me..

what the hell is wrong with me?

i knew my problem and yet i cant control myself

2011-06-22T03:25:00.001+08:00

Sometimes it feels like nobody gets me

Trapped in a world where everyone hates me

There's so much that I'm going through

I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for you

I was broken, I was choking

I was lost

This song saved my life

I was bleeding

Stopped believing

Could have died

This song saved my life

I was down, I was drowning

But it came on just in time

This song saved my life

Sometimes I feel like you've known me forever

You always know how to make me feel better

You're my escape when I'm stuck

In this small town, I turn you up

Whenever I feel down,

You let me know like no one else

That it's ok be myself

That it's ok to be alone

-this song saved my life-

2011-06-19T20:50:00.003+08:00

i start to stalk again =='''

i never add them, never talk to them, never stand in front of them..

was i waiting?

i start to stalk again..

imagine their life without really be close friend with them..

i start to stalk again..

because i wanted to know more secretly about you..

i start to stalk again..

i am afraid if one day, some changes of you will make me down again...

but i still stalk :P

previously keep appearing online till the day they will talk to me....

but none of them did..

keep posting stuff to let them know who i am..

i guess no one notice..

people around me making me to have a perception that,

human only talk with pretty and beautiful human,

or those rich and 'usable' human..

those who can be helpful to them..

i don't have those criteria..

that's why i never talk much with those newly meet friends..

or maybe that why people don't want to talk to me?

base on my observation toward my friends and other people,

most of the time it do prove my 'hypothesis'

the way they treat different people differently..

well,

i don't even talk much with my friends..

i only start to talk to them when they find me..

is not that i am arrogant or what

is because

till now i still think that i don't have the qualification to bother them for 5min or more to chat with me..

sometime, when i need help the most, many people pop out in my mind,

but........

still, i think i don't have the requirement to ask..

qualification? i wonder what is my qualification for me to you?

i failed miserably as a human.. Orz

posting this kind of stuff out making me felt so greedy

i want so much yet i did not put so much effort in it..

but if i really did, will you notice?

no one will..

because of who i am...

2011-06-17T02:54:00.003+08:00

U never knew what is the true busy

U never knew how it is to work with bunch of people that pissed and argue with each other..

The world is big,

there is many more people who suffer this more than you..

stop complaining waiyin and just swallow it up..

stop compare your life with other..

Listen and don't shoot back..

Learn to accept

Learn to listen

Learn to be more understanding..

you are busy, so do others....

why people can handle it and still i go and complain non stop :(

take a deep breath and cool down...

phew..

okay~ time for assignment

2011-06-15T00:54:00.002+08:00

T.T

im under stressed..

stomach in pain since yesterday..

i wont make myself in hunger again

Orz

got time to complain at blog, why don't spend time at reality?

2011-06-05T23:13:00.002+08:00

i know not everyone will stay forever by my side..

but, selfish me still wish everyone will always by my side till the end..

start from Form5,

people leaving me.. i started everything again in Form6

then Foundation, then Degree..

lots of people leaving and pursue their life independently, starting their new life again in somewhere around the world..

i wonder, do they will still remember me?

i afraid they will forget me..

i afraid they will forget me one day when i say hi to them..

slowly, one by one..

friend that i love, leaving one by one..

i still cant adapt to the new life without those who leave here..

i miss them..

i will truly miss them..

whenever you are..

whatever you are doing..

take care..

i will pray for your safely and luck..

2011-05-14T12:28:00.002+08:00

why i disable everything?

due to what happen last week,

how she treated me,

yeah, heart totally felt dejected..

this is me, how easily i am being influenced by others..

now, i really thought that whatever i said will make others pissed..

rather than making other felt pissed,

i try into disabled-mode

now i can control myself not to simply type and press enter..

plus, less notification.. make me can concentrate more on other stuff rather than making me waiting or expecting something from my friends..

disable comment is i afraid of criticism..

and also, i don't wanna receive any comment from you...

for you,

i am not pissed.. i just feel im not worth to be your friends..

you need a boyfriend rather than a friend i guess..

there is some reason why i dislike going out with friends who have boyfriend..

is not like being the torchlight or lightstand..

is how the way you ignore your friends..

plus, if any arguement happen,

there, you have your boyfriend backup you..

you can act as 'barbaric'? or rude?

because you are 'authorized' to do so..

well then,

maybe im narrow minded,

sorry..

first few time, i still can accept it..

but more than that? i guess im too far away from you...

is like im forcing myself to make you accept me into your life as a friend

while till now, you still address me as 'other people'

this few day, i really had a damn serious thought of ending everything that will relate me with you

since more time spend together will lead to unhappiness,

i dont have the damn courage to do so..

now everything that i do is avoiding from the fact that will come soon..

~.~

i make my life is so damn pathetic Orz

BadBye

2011-05-11T12:19:00.002+08:00

listening to this song make me suddenly think of you..

keep repeating on it, keep thinking the previous day..

till now, i dare not to delete all the messages..

i dare not go and read back all those messages...

i delete it,

it sound as if really goodbye between you and me...

two year...

and i wonder how you manage to delete me..

i think too much again..

2011-05-09T03:32:00.007+08:00

yeah i realize how evil my mouth would be..

i started to talk lesser to certain people..

reason is afraid i cant control my evil language and would hurt their little heart..

im not teasing them, i know how evil i can be..

there is some rules when i talk..

i realize how cruel i am sometimes..

i hate to repeat, if that people keep don't wanna listen to it..

ask me to talk it back, i will said, nothing nothing..

not i hate to repeat, is just that, there are things i wanna share it out,

but when you ignore the moment i wanna talk and talk bout other stuff,

the feeling or the importance of the things i wanna share out just then, gone..

i also realize how un-important i am..

what for i wanna force myself to talk.. or to make a conversation lively..

people wouldnt care what crap i talk..

i better talk to myself more rather than talk to others..

since im not that important anyway..

i observe how other treat others and how they treat it back to me..

totally felt dejected..

you wanna me to understand your feeling but none of you did the same to me!

you hate explanation from me, fine..

i started not to explain anymore,

it feel sucks! when i try to explain and you keep reject to hear it..

when i start not to explain, or talk lesser..

the conversation turn weird..

i don't know how to explain this situation..

it felt as if im the one who ruined the whole conversation

maybe i hate myself so much..

it felt like you deserve other friend who can understand you more than me..

you need other but not me..

and since whatever i talk now sound not important..

fine.. i will not talk more starting from now..

my mentally state now is really really really worst since the previous two exam..

i can burst to tear any moment,

i try not to talk much, in case i suddenly drop few of my tears and freak others..

i hide myself, just don't wanna let others see how down i am now..

but then,

i thought that going out awhile will be better than staying inside my room..

eat something and chat happily since i never ate anything for two days..

see lot of happy people in street better than face computer alone...

i never thought thing will be end up like this...

for you, i am addressed at 'other people' rather than 'friend'...

this just prove everything..

it prove what i thought what other's thought bout me is truth..

im sorry that i am your friend..

sorry that you had to be my friend..

sorry to force you to be my friend..

after so long only now i realize how evil i am to everyone..

how suck i am playing a role as a friend to everyone..

the sucker-face me should just disappeared from your eyesight..

maybe i just suit to talk with computer rather than human..

im sucks at handling people emotions.. sucks at talking with human..

*big sigh~*

since previous incident and now,

i really think that their world will be better without me...

i am not angry..

i am not pissed as well.

i just disappointed with myself..

how failed i am to be a human..

if anything that happen, it is my fault..

till now, i don't think i done anything good..

to anyone, to the world..

what am i...

i don't even had to authority to ask someone to accompany awhile,

talk to me for awhile..

they just reject me while i need them the most..

sick of it..

seriously, what am i to you...

what am i to myself..

2011-05-08T02:05:00.002+08:00

i wanted to tell her..

so much pain i hold into myself..

today is mother day..

how on earth im going to make her sad..

but

dear mum,

your daughter had successfully ruined two test..

what to do if i really failed both of the subject..

please don't be so disappointed..

i try harder next time..

sorry...

2011-05-01T23:24:00.003+08:00

i really envy all my friends that share their personal life conflict with others..

they are brave to share it out,

while me, the coward..

still choose here.....

even she, came to me..

talk everything to me..

and after everything end..

i feel guilty..

i shouldn't enjoy my life so well,

i shouldn't eat so well,

i shouldn't play so hard,

i shouldn't spend so much..

i shouldn't even think on how to enjoy me life to the fullest!

i am being so bad to enjoy me life so well while ....

*while? i don't want to talk bout this*

I'm too arrogant to share out the shame of me..

u are not the shame..

i am just ashamed of who i am..

just sorry..

really sorry for being so selfish..

so sorry for the bad attitude i have...

the most sorry that is,

u have to be with the bad-ass, me..

i understand all the suffering you went through,

i can't do anything because i really coward to face it myself..

coward to step out..

i have nothing..

i even selfish to dump you alone for everything, which prove that im the real jerk...

sorry..

the only thing i can do is quietly listen to everything you wanna complain..

even though it hurt me while listening to it,

i choose to listen, that is the only thing that i can do to make you feel better..

the only way that i can do to learn from the mistake i had done to you..

if time can turn back,

i wish i can make you knew others people rather than anyone that will related to me..

I'm sorry..

i cant describe how sorry i am..

but anyhow,

i still want to thanks you,

for talk to me..

for believing in me..

thanks you

thank you for still showing your caring to me after what i done to you..

burst into tears when you ask me bout my health,

after all those bad life you suffer, and you still concern bout me..

i really ashamed of myself..

everything of me..

back then, i should have just killed myself,

maybe the world will be better without me..

but right now, i should be more strong to keep holding on..

at least make you experience things i wanted you can be experience before i really left...

you are the truly best and good-hearted people in the world i ever meet with..

god should just take my life..

i willing to exchange my long life and make you live longer..

in this life,

i should't ask for more..

this is more than enough...

the reason why i post this is because,

im really sad..

and i want to make those people who read this,

who think that i am a good people or whatever..

im not..

the real fact of me is.. im a jerk..

u still know nothing bout me..

Handicap Me

2011-04-18T22:37:00.004+08:00

Actually what had happen?

the symptom started several year back then,

i don't really remember..

for sure, it really freak me off..

walking in the house and suddenly i will feel down,

just because my right leg lost it energy..

the whole right leg in pain whenever i try to walk..

lost it balance then i fell down..

i still even remember i need to crawl back to the room..

sleep~ thinking everything will be fine,

the pain will be gone once i awake

this is the story..

for two day,

i stay like a handicap in the bed..

yes..

my leg totally cant move at all.. no damn energy to support my weight..

the first day, i still feel okay with it..

the second day.. it totally freak me,

i start to imagine the life I'm going to go through if my leg really nerve breakdown for the rest of the life from now..

I'm still young,

yes, i did say i want to die fast,

but i dint say i want to handicap in young age! ==

but not whole day in pain of course,

still have normal time, where i can walk for two hour?

go out with my mum.. and suddenly,

shit! it came again..

now i cant walk in the middle of the road..

damn it!!

my mum continue her stuff, i waited her outside

alone..

with my motor..

and the sun..

sitting there waiting..

try to walk..

but the pain.. damn it!!

two time i go out.. it end up in this..

ah~ why leg pain still wanna go out?

no choice! have to settle my government-related stuff before i back..

talk till the end,

it won't lead to handicap i guess..

just something wrong with the nerve, according to clinic's doctor..

but of course, i do pray whatever the doctor said is true..

now walk is not a problem to me after i ate pain killer..

but when i lie down to the bed..

i can feel something weird with my right leg..

sigh.. i do hope nothing when wrong..

everything will be fine after tomorrow and tomorrow and tomorrow..

or else, I'm going to x-ray, consult expertise in bone~

and then they will found out lot lot of thing in my body already cannot function!!

oh no!!!!!

okay i think a lot..

but,

this is what sick patient do!!!!!

no wonder those who stayed at hospital for long period can lead to depression as well..

this sickness totally take off my mind and whatever stuff..

i cant concentrate *excuses?* :P

gonna start work hard now...

and to those who read this..

pray for me *cross finger*

__________________________________________

long time haven't update blog,

and every time i update my blog sure gonna be sad stuff..

pathetic me..

is like nothing good going to happen for me..

true true true :P

is less good thing happen for me..

but whatever is it..

this is not the stuff i want to talk about..

this semester start,

i learn a lot of thing..

one of it is,

i don't want to explain anymore since u don't want to hear this..

thanks to one people, who don't wanna to listen to my excuses no matter how hard i want to clear myself from the guilt..

that people resist to listen, saying i had lot of lame stupid excuses..

and even uses my excuses to make joke..

though i know that people trying to joke around with me *good-friend ma*

but that particular moment really hurt me deep deep to the core..

every single inch in my heart feel so damn pain..

damn.. even nearly cry out..

that moment start, i already felt so heart-distressed..

i hate to explain more anymore..

when people misunderstood me for anything..

i just let them be..

Quote by me: I am born to be HATE, Forget Forget...

to make myself feel better..

it is not fun thing to be misunderstood by people..

it is not fun thing to be hate by people...

my leg incident i mention earlier..

i think i make several people pissed with me just because i can't make up to the date we had agree previously..

i did not explain much, just say that i can't go..

but actually, i had indirectly hint them, saying my leg is kind of weak..

still the same, nobody really bother bout it..

Quote: What i say is CRAP!! nobody BELIEVE it.. Only True Friend understand you..

ah ah.. my true friend will understand me.. fine fine..

relax relax...

eventually, i start to interpret and read other people mind

to guess what on their mind [especially they don't want to talk to me]

yeah.. i feel so proud to guess it right *sometimes*

at least i know to back-off when i guess that people don't wanna to see my fucking face..

need not have to apologize actually...

you make me learn new stuff again.. =)

still wanna talk bout several stuff..

but i guess that is for today...

the second essay really make me down..

it felt as if i really born to be hate by ppl

Orz

i don't know

2011-04-07T01:42:00.004+08:00

whenever i get alone,

the feeling come again..

have been feeling like this since last week..

try to immune my brain and heart not to think negatively by listening to songs..

talk with friends,

make myself super busy and damn tired before go off to bed..

try to make myself don't get myself so into the social networking website..

and now, i end up addicted to youtube.com

the silent creep me..

i can't stand it,

i wanted to find someone to talk to, but when im with someone,

i dont know want to talk what to you..

i don't know what actually making me under depression..

i don't know what i want

i don't know what i need

i don't know...

i don't know why i am so stupid..

i don't know wanna how to express what i want,

the want that me myself confuse with..

i..

jealous

envy

you..

finally tear drop after holding it for so many day..

T^T

purposely write so many thing to make myself cry..

i need to release a bit stress..

Friends?

2011-03-28T00:40:00.004+08:00

sometimes i don't really know what i done so far is consider what a good friend should do or not..

i think i did not good enough..

but sorry i have to say this though I'm not really a good people also..

is been awhile,

i don't understand why you have to treat a friend like this..

are we consider being as a friend?

maybe the definition of friend by everyone is different.

but in my opinion, my point of view

what you all did is too over already..

you only treat those special one, really special friends

i know you dislike me from the start..

but being a friend,

and you need others to beg you to did something that most of the time we spend time doing it together,

everyday spending that little moment together..

it already should be a habit already,

but you still need other beg you for it..

it sound like i need to beg you,

kneel down for you

just to be one of your friends.

you talk to me when you like,

you ignore me most of the time,

i need to push myself over for you most of the time..

i don't really know this is friend or not..

maybe you really hate me so much..

i don't know? but it really pissed me sometimes..

well,

i still envy you,

despite of what you had done to everyone,

everyone still love you..

this is the power you owned!

by the way,

this is not about me,

I'm just write it out based on how my friend treat my other friend..

___________________________________________

another story,

as friend,

do we really need to count in every single things?

what i done, you need to return it in future..

i ask for your help, because you also need my help..

this kind of feeling..

it make me feel like we are just using each others...

i really scare being friend with you..

i don't know, it feel weird..

even talk to you, i need to be very careful..

you count every single thing so well..

every time i finish talked to you,

i will re-think it..

yeah, i know i done and said something that pissed that people again..

i wanted to say sorry, but in the end i don't..

why? because i forgot bout it,

plus, not really bump with them most of the time~

the moment we saw each other again,

i think that feeling of pissed already gone?

maybe bunch of friends i mixing with now is treating me really really good!!!

extremely good!

fetch me everywhere to play

*i not even treat them eat or paid for the petrol money*

sometimes treat me eat and drinks..

out with me anytime and anywhere!

though they did not listen to my stuff all of the time,

but i don't care...

at least got people i can talk crap with xD

i feel good being with them,

friends that don't count every single thing..

friends that i wont feel paiseh to ask help..

i ask help most of the time,

if i never ask for your help,

that mean you are the one being mention?

hahaha~

i don't know..

think about it...

maybe i requesting too much for a friends..

sorry if i hurt you~

oh by the way,

one more theory i learn

because i hurt most people with this..

when treating another friends good,

don't tell your other friends..

they will be very upset =(

example?

i treated my friend mcD the other day,

i don't know why i will mention it in front of my other friends...

and they were so upset ...

aiyo~ i say i treat u, u duwan jek.. xD

talk till the end,

am i your friend??

T^T

don't hate me..

i like all my friend!

ME = Lansi??

2011-03-22T01:07:00.003+08:00

I very arrogant?

i very snobbish?

I very Lanci?

previously i may~

but is not that i put my pride high~

is because i afraid people would not want to recognize me as friend..

i live in shameful live =(

lol

this is so over-crapped..

but this is what i think of myself..

sometimes,

i don't even think i deserve being friend with you..

i will always thought that i may not be that good,

you will feel ashamed to have me as friend...

sigh~

maybe the friend circle i have previously is too small..

my friend protected me well..

i afraid of being hurt..

i afraid people may not want to wave back or smile back when i smile or wave to them..

too many thing that i afraid..

i try to change now..

now i am slightly better..

i am little bit brave when I'm with friend,

i feel confident to do so if there is friends beside me..

(still sound like loser ==)

but people just don't want to look at me..

i don't know why..

the same friend i had met for two years plus plus or even more

they just don't wanna look at me..

is it i change too much that they cant recognize me..

sad

my problem?

my fault for not just go and say hi to them?

my face problem?

i born with arrogant and fierce face?

i am not friendly in reality?

people dislike me?

i cant open a conversation well?

I'm not a good talker?

things that i talked boring?

i too boring?

i am not attractive enough to be listed in your friend list?

i look like a nerd-IT~ians?

T^T

that people added many people, but not me..

i hesitate many many many times,

thinking wanted to add or not..

in the end, i end up not adding anyone..

for me, i afraid the people feels like i add them because i need to use them or what..

plus,

i added one guy i liked previously~

and till now, i talk nothing or anything with him..

keep saw his update and i still don't dare to comment!

because i afraid again!

afraid people would not reply!

he even take 3 weeks plus to approve me previously..

make me feel no chance at all and I'm totally stab-my heart-to-death..

and of course,

he do live perfectly in imagination =)

maybe not knowing you is the best, you can stayed perfect in my mind forever till i forget you someday...

maybe the reason of everything i have is..

i expected too much..

i think too much..

watch too much drama and i relate it too my real life,

and

i actually very good one

I'm not a mean people..

can you just comment one time?

just one time!

and keep replying~

we can be best friend =D

can you add me~

I'm happy to see that you added me =D

*bright light* [ada chance ni xD]

someone save me from the imagination world

2011-03-19T03:26:00.004+08:00

I want a break and yet don't wanna feel damn free with nothing to do..

goshie~

too many thing done this semester..

feels like haven really got a day i can rest well

i mean like a day doing nothing

a day of boredom where you wish you have something to do...

time is packed

and sleep time reduced

i wanted to train myself to be a sleep lesser..

i succeeded at night, but i sleep at morning..

so its the same

today morning,

i was scared by myself when i looked at the mirror..

my eyes turn blackie..

so is that the well known legend black circle??

=.=

it looks like i gave someone punch left and right of my eyes..

ouch!

several weeks more final going to start..

yeah~

i study nothing and i learn nothing..

GG~

i need to consult my classmate..

ask them to be my tuition teacher

i am noob!

just a short update and i want to sleep with my beloved pillows and boosters

kekeke..

home sweet home

I am Fierce

2011-03-15T06:28:00.002+08:00

I've been trying to be good to others..

but whenever others saying something or praising of my attitude..

there i goes,

i started to became arrogant and acted like a bitch..

oh damn me..

plus,

if someone annoyed me for a period of time with his or her acting,

i will started to hate everything of that human..

no matter what that human said or do,

my brain will choose not to listen or see..

i will even scolded that human if they done something wrong or thing that i thought is wrong

or maybe i just want to scold them.. xD

yes..

i am a badass..

i am a jerk

i am a bitch..

damn me again,

sorry..

i will try to control my bitchies attitude..

long long long post

2011-03-12T21:15:00.003+08:00

this gonna be a long post to summarize everything that happen this past few weeks,

why i was so emo with short post~

if you had follow my blog..

well,

main reason is because of busy and tired plus a serious home sick..

really busy with everything,

time flies, and after chinese new year, is already week 9~

5 more week i will be sitting for my final exam..

gosh~ seems like i study nothing for this semester..

today went to a seminar,

i wasn't willing to go, thanks to an assignment who required the student to attend at least a soft skills talks..

now i learned something,

get a slightly motivated,

and earned soft skill points..

i was now being shown a light to the path I'm going to go in future i guess..

something that totally wont be related to what I'm studying now..

in order to achieving it,

start from next next week [sorry, i still wanna procrastinate to rest]

I'm gonna start working hard..

try to control myself not to open my laptop..

i have now successfully control myself from not logging in and crap in msn..

i have also successfully control myself not to facebook so often like what i did previously [atleast a little bit]

now i just need to control myself from blogging and too into the k-culture [IMPOSSIBLE!!! xP]

but what happen last few days is...

just too tired,

and everything seems pissed me..

when i get tired or stress, i just need to hibernate..

but~

I'm busy till no time to sleep!

that why,

I'm easily irritates by small things..

now I'm just done with midterm..

not to say the result..

totally sucks!

result of last minute study and not attending classes..

I'm sorry, i regret now..

that's why two more week i need to shut myself from Internet world..

recently the weather seems moody~

make me moody to go to school too~

why started raining season at the time i need to work hard for exam

make me feel sleepy all the time...

some more the rain seems like love me so much,

whenever i was planning to go out,

it start to rain..

dinner,

school

and assignment have to be postpone..

yesterday were a good day,

been helped by bunch of friends during exam^^

when you get too much, you will lost something,

and that might be the reason why my tyre punctured..

but thanks to friends again for borrowing me money..

thanks to friends who send me warm messages^^

though it was rain, and i need to ride slowly without raincoat like an idiot..

i feel warm~~~~~~

and that moment start,

i realize that there is actually lots of people who paid attention to me,

they help me,

they greet me,

they respect me LOL..

few weeks never back,

thanks to friends again for curing my homesick sometimes^^

thanks to them who willing to out for drinks, crap with me, dinner with me~

i kinda love this feeling,

though i love my home very much,

i try to hold myself to stayed..

two more year,

i need to accumulate more and more memories at here...

all these busy and stressful life would be a memorable memories..

and i still enjoy staying up late till the morning...

thanks friendssssss...

I'm so grateful to meet you all in my life^^

let us together work our very best and graduate~

fight fight!!

hmm.. now only i realize, this post is not very long also xD

thanks for dropping by...

2011-03-09T01:10:00.002+08:00

this is me...

always burst to anger when there someone goes different from what i want..

i wish i can control it..

im such a jerk...

no wonder people leaving me one by one

2011-03-08T20:36:00.003+08:00

at first,

it's really hard

suffer minor self depression for at least three days i guess..

trying to search for a darker corner to hide..

after deep thought every single night,

i guess..

things should be work fine,

don't worry so much waiyin

i want to talk so much

please listen to my heart

World of Critics

2011-03-03T19:10:00.004+08:00

Once you walk out from your room~

you entered the world of Critics..

i really really admire those who can live alone, be independent and ignore all those criticizer

and just be who they are..

i just cant be the way i wanted anymore..

critics really affect me very very much..

i can think bout the critics almost everyday till i really improved or what..

just like previously when my uncle critics on my spectacle looks like auntie,

every time i go out with him,

i will not wear spectacle anymore..

it sound like I'm someone who acted to be what others want me to be..

yes i am..

till now, i can conclude people at here accept the one of me who looks cool, sleepy and arrogant..

maybe i should just live in that way...

or maybe i should just learn to accept critics,

and learn ways to rejects other critics..

********

that is the reason why i don't wanna tell others what actually on my mind and how i feel..

i am now super super afraid..

whenever I'm with the one,

i feel insecure as if that one will see through me..

or tell others...

i really really tired thinking lots of things..

i cant stop my mind from thinking those thing..

there many time i nearly burst into tears..

i keep control it,

because of what others people think of me again..

'strong' people like me shouldn't shed tears..

lock the door,

and just be who am i inside my little room

***********

one problem i wanna get rid is cough..

previously i love to cough..

this is the 1st time i ever get such serious cough..

i woke up to cough every middle of the night..

cough till vomit..

not really vomit, i swallow it back =.=

guess that i really should buy some medicine or consult a doctor if worst..

less talking to control cough..

i really really down..

i wanna go to home

hugs all my pillow... T-T

i want to sleep

pressure at here too high..

though din't have anything to do,

i rather spend two more hour awake till 4am+ and get to bed..

sleep longer make me feel guilty..

one day sleep already making me feeling so guilty =(

sigh..

T_T

rejection

2011-02-27T07:43:00.004+08:00

i never or didn't have the gut to share everything about me to people..

i am too afraid people might leave me alone when they knew too much about me..

but..

rejection from other to listen to me is the most horrible thing to be face..

just now,

keep being reject to be listen when i was trying to voice out..

rejection make me feel as if I'm not important..

people make me feel unsafe..

I'm making myself feeling unsafe with people..

i am afraid of anything and everything..

this is what people never felt because they never been neglected by someone whom they wish they will not be neglect with..

or i should say,

they are too like-able by their friends,

that why, they owned the power to reject to listen others..

I'm just needed to approve what you said..

my point keep being reject...

never mind,

i grown up most through rejection..

******

though you making me felt stupid..

i still cant motivate myself to prove that i need not to follow your tail around..

sigh..

can't believe it..

i have to learn to control my attitude and anger

and learn to low down the head and listen..

tell myself every single time,

don't argue.. don't argue..

just follow, just follow.

but in the end,

i still burst out everything i feel..

i am really weak in controlling my fucking emotional intelligence..

damn..

damn me..

damn the weak me..

oh damn..

i am so down...

frust

stress

my mind feel nothing..

i can't even sleep..

fuck!

T_T

****

why people keep asking bout it??

it make me feel that i am really not friendly to be friend with

though i know that's the fact which i don't want to admit..

i don't know what's wrong..

maybe the problem come from me..

i am born to be a little bit cool aka lansi..

but for sure is..

i am 100% sure that i am not LESBIAN..

please don't touch this kind of sensitive issue..

i damn fucking hate it..

making me so speechless and embarrassed in the same time..

what you all wanna know??

i tell truly there is no one,

ya..

never been a single person came to me personally..

did i wish for it??

yes! previously, i do expect very very much

but the expectation some how grew to be lesser and lesser..

as many people told the truth of me that i am hard to be talk to..

i am not pretty

i am not good

and bla bla bla..

but i didn't mean wanna blame them,

they just wake me up from fantasy to realize the cruel and how realistic the people are..

making me feeling so scare and embarrassed with myself as i feel i don't deserve to be..

till now, when people trying to say something good,

it just make me feel like they are just trying to make me feel better...

and that's make all the expectation grew lesser and more lesser...

did i found someone?

yes.. i do found someone i like,

should say several.. xD

was waiting him to make the move,

but he never =..=

but it's okay,

at least he still stay perfect in my imagination

and as time gone,

those feeling gone as well..

friend,

i wasn't trying to blame you all..

my expectation is high maybe..

too many fantasy lead me to this=..=

anyway,

i appreciate your concern..

please continue give your positive comment on me,

so i can still improve myself before the right one found me..

and one more important thing i wanna mention is..

I AM NOT DESPERATE

-the end-

Work Hard

2011-02-26T04:11:00.003+08:00

I've been busy working hard this few days..

handling lots of stuff in the same time,

assignment, events and others stuff come in together..

the time is pack,

and lots of thing have to be done..

when i really work hard into something,

there is time i came to the down phase of my life..

*how come i still cant be as good as other?*

tough question keep pop~ing out

to test my EQ whether i will continue strive for it or just give up..

tonight is the night,

where i really feel like giving up..

my mind said:

"well, this is me.. procrastinate and giving up to avoid the reality"

this time,

i wanna be a bit different..

work hard atleast for the things i like..

setting a target..

before the end of this semester..

i hope i can at least learn something..

to prove to myself that i can!

YES!! I CAN!!!!

one more thing that i wish is, i hope i can adapt to the pain

and let the pain be part of me.

so that i wouldn't felt so pain anymore?

2011-02-25T02:35:00.003+08:00

I really wanna be good at it SO much TT

how come i am so stupid...

i wanna be good at it..

FAILURE

2011-02-21T15:46:00.002+08:00

is my own-selves who choose to be in this way..

even failed, i cant blame anyone though i wish there is something i can blame into it...

sigh..

feeling so damn regret whenever see other success

i am such a jerk...

guilty~

to both my parents who put high expectation..

anger~

to myself who still think so childish...

to myself who still be more hardworking toward life..

to the stupid and life-less me..

i had just failed quarter of my life

NEW PHONE!!!!!

2011-02-12T00:49:00.006+08:00

and suddenly i miss the time we spend talking together...

starting from new sem,

seems like you are getting busier..

i cant see you around..

talk less than 5 sentences,

i just randomly miss talking to you so so so so much!

yesterday~

my phone went something wrong..

at that moment,

i was thinking to buy a new phone and my father ask me to buy one too..

if im not mistaken, i heard him suggesting Iphone xD

but im not going to buy apple phone..

i browse at phone site all day long,

and im still got my eye catched by that phone

like it very very much!

but then,

suddenly,

my phone is okay back..

so, that all the story of my 'new phone'

in future,

I'm going to get something similar to this or this brand..

this few day,

start of starving myself...

i hope i can succeed this time..

i even eat less...

feeling so dizzy~~~~~

the drama is getting too romance in the end,

making me wanna jot down all those famous conversation use by the actors...

how come it can be that beautiful~

so beautiful making me want to visit there!!!

and

with a member going to hospital and he doing his member part..

only i realize he is so perfect in every aspect!!

so perfect!

too perfect!

very perfect!

super perfect!

jinjia perfect!!!

listening to any song also will think only of you!

reason for me to wanted to learn it well!!

come to my dream tonight..

i sound like a crazy fan...

2011-02-10T18:16:00.003+08:00

Just submitted my part 1 of coursework worth 10% out of 40%..

it had been a long time i never do calculating..

and it also had been a long time i never done something i don't know how to do..

T-T

i am so disappointed with myself and all those copy work just to get an A for this subject..

the only subject which i had confident of all since secondary school seems

and i don't know anything at all...

i am so tired..

two day two night staying awake doing nothing,

yet feeling so tired..

now counting time to 7pm to go back home..

exhausted

=(

2011-01-29T01:34:00.002+08:00

i suppose to post a shout out bout this at twitter or facebook..

but i felt myself so sarcastic if i do so..

but i just couldn't help myself from not thinking bout it..

is it i too sensitive??

I'm happy to heard something from you,

but when i saw something different from what you told me,

it turn up to be something very very disappointing to me..

I'm not expecting anything from you..

that is your life,

you do it the way you want..

i just don't understand why you wanna 'lie' to me..

lot of sad thing happen this week...

i make my phone look so pariah in just a second..

i give my brother put a very big airplane on something that I've exciting waiting for..

give some of my tutor a big freak out that i will have a high possibility failing a subject..

the emotion of me just go down and down and down...

i wanna forget everything by talking and talking and just talking and crapping..

and suddenly all those feeling of wanna hide in a dark corner to cry pop out when i realize you are not-even-trying to ignore me.. T___T

am i that bad?

why..

it is been so many year..

and i can swear to god,

though my mind is evil,

but i never done anything wrong to you...

why would you done that???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm feeling left-out...

if later my aunt dump me again..

i think as if I'm be forgotten...

T_T

please let it end by this month..

please~

I x CNY

2011-01-23T13:08:00.002+08:00

I used to Love CNY a lot.. A LOTSSSsssssss

will countdown till the arrival of it...

but now i kinda hate for it..

is seems to be some sort of pressure to me...

i don't know why..

i just hope that this day came and pass quickly...

maybe because this day will be celebrated not during my semester break..

kind of jealous to see others who got a longer break than me..

maybe i hate to just celebrate for less than a week then go back to study again..

~.~

is more to we are bind to CNY pressure to go home more than go to school pressure..

maybe is just me... xP

but whatever is it..

I still love CNY~

especially the shopping part xD

bought some clothes and pants..

just don't know whether have any chances to wear it frequently xD

one year wear one time.. LoL

I wanna play with fire cracker..

not that type of BOOM BOOM...

I wanna see beautiful firework in the air^^

I wanna meet up with all my long time no keep in touch friends..

I wanna SS with all of you~~

I wanna go for a movie with all of you~~

I wanna crap non-stop with all off you~~

I wanna get updates from all of you~~

and of course my cousiee who all been away for such a long time...

and playing some card games and drinking session~ hopefully will be ON!!

note some changes in me xD

i grew into more quiet person...

and of course,

I'm the most disappointing friend you ever get who won't be the 1st one to say hello and ask how are you

but I'm gonna change it all..

keep me some times..

till now,

i still can't adapt to it...

well, you will know when we meet up^^

new year~

hopefully it will change it all..

bring only luck and less challenges in life..

simple simple normal normal life..

something happen recently..

and i feel the shame on me..

I'm sorry...

Addictive

2011-01-20T03:00:00.003+08:00

I'm trying to control it..

therefor i like everything and everyone of it..

i even changes those i like once awhile..

damn..

it is so addictive..

i felt myself turning to die hard fans as day pass..

im watching the same mv of them over and over again..

wanna get update bout them every single minute..

this is serious..

i never felt myself that stupid before and now i am..

doing all those stupid stuff...

happy, sad, excited and disappointed at the same time..

sigh~

control!!

CONTROL IT!!!!!!

but i wanna be your +

i want you to be my +

im crazy... =.=

nightmare

2011-01-15T01:20:00.003+08:00

keep having nightmare everyday..

even nap awhile also had a bad dream..

some i forgotten..

i just remember i woke up in shock or struggle a lot till i wake up..

the one i remember is my tooth drop one by one..

so horrible terrifying..

it felt so real...

when i woke up i really thought my teeth all gone...

other is keep chasing by a monster and i don't remember what it looks like..

sigh~

izzit too many bad stuff happen causing me to non-stop thinking and reflect it in my dream =(

even now lappy keyboard is playing with me..

previously is the Z key

now is the Shift key

wuargggghhhh!!!

please make it a doom month rather than doom year T_T

by the way,

I watched Predator 2010 and 童眼

both movie are good..

so damn gan jiong!!

i was terrified by some of the scenes =..=

i can saw myself jump off from the monitor reflection..

Predator 2010 really good, because you will keep wanna know what happen next..

same goes to 童眼

but i wanted to just skip to the end rather than wait every scenes..

ghost movie sometime quite boring because most of the scenes have long pause break.. xD

that's all~

gonna take some rest..

hope for a better dream n better day tomorrow ^^

2011-01-12T18:20:00.002+08:00

i cant be positive as they is..

this year totally a bad damn doom year..

i hate it..

every week sure got things happen..

though it did not happen to me..

but i feel sad for them..

can't i just pass all the luck i have to them TT

there is always output which did not benefit us..

and bloody stuff happen every week..

1st is the chest bone crash..

next is the finger crash..

then is the shoulder crash..

now is the leg crash some more causing a loss of transportation..

dear GOD..

please stop it..

the challenges is too challenging..

they just started something..

please give us some hope so that we still have strength to continue..

especially them..

please show us an guide for everything..

bless those workers who injured..

if that bird house is causing us the bad things.

i will definitely crash it down and burn it!!

Update

2011-01-11T21:04:00.007+08:00

my body feel so old..

now the whole shoulder in pain..

especially the neck..

the previous plastic making need to stand whole day making my leg n waist in pain..

*waist pain because need to turn to other table fast*

now in charge of packaging plastic making my neck in aches..

my shoulder and thumb in pain because need to take lots of plastic in a time and many times..

just now go mirror myself!

OMO~ i got dark circle dy..

this is some story of my job~~

boring~

but tomorrow will be the last day~

next sem break go help again...

result release yesterday..

i do hope a lot for this semester..

well, every semester i also hope to see at least an apple..

but disappointed =(

next semester try to obtain one..

well, last minute study did not disappoint me..

i get what i deserve..

maybe i should start study everyday next semester to boost my cgpa?

lalalala~

lots of my friends did not achieve a very good result..

haih..

is not your fault..

is the school!

the school purposely failed us..

so we can repeat

and pay them money!

school now needs lot of money to build new building.. ~.~

let us together try harder and harder next semester!!!

p/s: i dint expect anyone to failed that subject =(

i thought i done the best to help but in fact I'm not..

working2

2011-01-08T21:33:00.003+08:00

thought of something to add on bout what i hate bout working..

ngek!

waking up!!!

is the hardest thing..

especially now..

have to wake up at 6.30am everyday..

(yawn)

back to home already 6pm..

online awhile already 8pm..

bath and online awhile is already 12am..

still haven't talk to any worker at there informally except asking for simple help ad smiling to each other..

even asking help i will ask my dad to call them to help me =.=

I'm looks and sound cocky hor..

im getting little expert in making plastic bag..

gosh..

i had polluted the earth by creating around 1M plastic bags this few days..xD

sorry earth..

though i love you very much

but i have to ask everyone to say 'YES' to plastic bag

recently im obsessed with making origami

and stuff that needed to DIY...

im trying to make use of everything around me..

maybe will buy a fabric and make myself a pencil case and purse since is hard for me to buy one that suit my taste~~

lalala~

trying to workout more in this field..

Working

2011-01-07T00:19:00.003+08:00

Working? No problem..

working can be fun..

u get to knew lots of friend,

u get to knew bout some skills..

what i hate bout working is....

the 1st day of working..

well, the day before working is full of excitement where your curiosity level of everything bout tomorrow is the max level,

making you insomnia? but i dint reach that part..

the 1st day of working is really ngong ngong/ dumb dumb

yes.. very dumb.. waiting for order but still shy to ask bout it..

looking around with the dumb face of the new environment..

some may act as if they knew everything from previous experience..

because you are new, people will tend to give you the easiest job and you hate it..

it is predictable for every 1st job?

what is this? 3 seconds for guessing

3...

2...

1..

ding dong~

times up..

cleaning up, sweeping, empty the dustbin

and worst of all if doesn't have any cleaner..

clean up the toilet.. ==

hahahaa!!

boss will ask you look around and get to know bout the environment..

try to make friends but everyone look serious with their work while you look like a dummy looking at them trying to say a 'HELLO'?

shy people like me usually get to know a colleague at least one week..

even talk to them asking for help also very hard.. (pai seh nia)

therefore 1st day of working for me is hard...

the second thing i hate bout working is dealing with broken machine..

I'm a dumb dumb..

i know nothing except knock knock, kick kick until it function

hire a technician!

i don't want touch machinery stuff.. the broken one lar...

third thing i hate is...

i cant think of it.. haha..

standing for 8 hours i still can..

no air-cond also can just don't give me work under the sun

continue next time when i free...

blog bout this because recently helping out my father with his work..

just two day of working and i injured my waist..

not very pain but still pain==

sound so old huh.. ==''

i need yoko-yoko..

2010 Memory

2010-12-26T09:25:00.029+08:00

today is 26 December 2010..

i type this earlier because of two reason

the 1st one is afraid that i don't have anytime to do that

[naaahh, this is a crap, spending lots of free time at home with drama n movies xP]

the second one is maybe i had lot of thing in mind wanna share it out,

since this will be going to say bout memory i had throughout 2010..

and the last one is maybe will got add on ler,

so i start early to write ba..

so this will be a super damn long blog post i guess..

with all those zap ba lang feeling i had toward all this year

and

i spend maybe 5 day writing this..

sorry that the word is killing your eye...

something wrong with the coding..

i try to put color and changing font but nothing works..

please spend time read it since you already pressing into here..

drop some comment..

write something bout your feeling throughout the year too..

i wanna read it^^

So here it goes~

___________________________________

Is a long year~

but not as tough as it is compare to the previous 2009..

i still trying to accept the fact though it is hard for me to do it..

but being here is a bless i guess..

i successfully finish my foundation study with not a very flying color result

but yet i am satisfied with it..

entering degree is another story..

is tough..

making me feel like a douche bag..

there are time i wondering what am i studying..

did i choose the right one for me?

what am i going to do if i failed it?

but maybe i am ways too lucky to able to pass the 1st semester..

I'm really afraid to face exam..

is truth though you may not believe it..

still searching strength to facing it..

maybe the way i studying is wrong..

but whatever is it..

i will not waste my student life..

three more year and i will enjoy it the way i wanted to..

people think I'm crazy to stay awake till the sunrise everyday..

but how long can we ever do something crazy like this when we grew up..

how many sunrise can you see in future when you have to work your shit out just to earn some living expenses..

how many shooting star you able to see??

how many time will we be able to spend for more than a day doing nothing but rolling on bed like a sushi with blanket and watching all our favourite drama..

I'm not crazy..

I'm just wanted to spend my time now doing things that little bit out of mind before i grew up to another stage of life where i won't be able to do it again..

I'm not selfish, I'm just want you to do it with me so you will have this kind of crazy memory perhaps?

but not many people really like it doh~

erm well, everyone have their own life,

cant force them to do things i wanna do..

i started to love the night life ever since i went university..

i spend lots of my time on nights and watched the most sunrise..

i like it, and will continue doing it the very next year...

talking bout Korean stuff..

this year I'm more and more obsessed with it..

all the drama stuff making me crazy..

i always wanted something without thinking bout the consequences..

now i am thinking bout it..

the best thing bout watching drama is,

they teach you how to grow up to be a better one..

though it is fake,

but watching them will reflect it to myself,

it make me feel like I'm not doing good enough for everything..

it make me feel like I'm not deserve those stuff as i did not the best i have..

some people may feel that I'm stupid chasing and listen to the language i do not understand it myself..

myself once had laugh my friend before last time..

but now,

i don't know why,

i just like it..

they teach me the beauty of silence..

they teach me the beauty of natural..

they teach me the beauty within self..

i may not be perfect,

but i am when I'm with all these stuff...

not only Korean stuff but anime too..

I'm watching back the anime i used to watch when i was younger back then..

there lots of meaningful stuff they teach which i did not realize when i was younger back then..

proof that i do grown up and saw things i didn't when i was younger? xD

and and..

i started to like to see beautiful thing..

how should i put this on word..

beautiful scenery?

something beautiful to me...

maybe like the sky?

something like you feel warm when you cold when looking at it..

whatever is it..

i enjoy seeing all this stuff..

i wish to see all this on real..

get to know all these stuff by movie and pictures..

yaaah~ my top wish right now..

work hard, earn lots of money to support me doing this...

travelling no where in some where i love and snapping picture..

in future, i hope i will be able to open wide my eye to see more beautiful stuff..

[dah spend lot of time blogging today.. tomorrow or late abit continue.. talk bout friend perhaps?]

_____________________

Today is 28 December 2010, 5.10pm

spending time writing this in front my house...

and it started to rain~

back to the topic..

as mention earlier,

i would like to talk bout my friends

though not everyone might see this..

but this is what i want to tell them...

first of all is my primary + secondary friends..

the most well known friend's friend of mine..

basically everyone i knew get to known her as well..

everyone trying to be her friend..

jeeez, now you know how famous you are..

nothing special happen bout me n her this year..

she found some one..

good for her..

thanks for being so good to me and telling me all those gossip around..

all the best in everything

the sis of the previous picture..

another big sister which most of my friend fear? respect?

haha

thanks for being a good friend and caring..

cooking meals to me sometime make me so happy

because i very lazy mar...

wish you can drop few more kilo next year..

i just concern bout your health only, don't get me wrong..

this pig face only remember me when back to DiamondBay..

but still happy because you call^^

less friend i had because im not like you..

i wouldn't call =S

keep up calling me like you use to..

what more i can say except wishing you happy happy with Mr.Ferru

relationship only work out if you and him together tolerate..

almost three year,

time to married!

hope you successful graduate next year!

is been more than half a year we din't meet up with each other..

even can make it to your graduation like what we use to talk to when we are still studying..

feel so sorry bout that..

kind of happy to receive your sms recently asking to hang out..

looking forward to see you

and wish you all the best in your career

find some happiness through it..

everytime i see you i only felt guilty within myself..

maybe that the reason for me to avoiding you?

im sorry i cant make it up as i promise when we study..

hope you will doing very well after graduation

take care

eh..

i don't know what to say bout you..

been friend for so many year

but it seems like i know nothing bout you

except that you are good in making joke..

keep it up

you cheer up my life sometimes

____________________________________

okay now is the people i met in university

start off with house mate...

my roommate for almost a year

and now she will be leaving..

sometime i hated you

but it not till the level i wanted both of us to be enemy or what..

but you are way too nice..

you are a very good friend..

though i wanted you to stay,

but i cant force you..

all the best in your career..

next time i go singapore find work,

remember take care of me ^^

sure will miss the moment we talk till we fall asleep,

watch ghost movie with all light off,

cooking, eating, playing and crapping..

thanks for everything..

thanks for helping me!

is good to have you as friend

thank you for eating every meal with me

thank you for not being upset whenever i fly aeroplane and eat with some one else..

thanks!

thanks this two for accompany me yum-cha~ing most of the night..

for talking bout everything..

still have last semester left..

sometime, i do wish that you failed certain subject so you can extend semester and stay a little bit longer with me xP

but all the best for the last semester..

its kind of sad

but i will cherish the time we have for the last semester and explore the night together!

i like being friend with you..

you introduce me lots lots of beautiful stuff i mention earlier

maybe you might not be aware of this,

but i felt that both of us had some thing in common..

i don't know how to describe it..

maybe i more wanna be a little bit like you?

the last semester you left..

wish you all the best next year!

sure gonna miss you when you are not around..

next year we go have breakfast again? xD

this is the house!

love it!

stay healthy with no ants and stray dog coming in to poop around the house..

_____________________________

now is my university friend~

oo!

this one left after the very first semester..

that's all

hah~

wish her all the best in choosing the courses she like went entering degree soon~

come and play with us at kampar when you free

is good to have some color you really like..

when others think of you

it sure will be PINK

i wish you to get bit fatter than me!

haha..

no la..

stay the same as who you are..

learn to cook more when you free and treat me eat..

don't give up on study when you meet with any obstacle..

i want to graduate together with you all!

though you keep telling me you are lazy or din't do any revision on anything..

but you still good than me..

i have to deeply rely on you when it come to coding stuff..

please continue your good job on it and save me..

im not as clever as you think i am..

i know your ambition and wish you all the best in achieving it..

in future, if have any good path, remember me! xD

see this picture pattern also can tell that she is a busy girl...

a brave one who dare to cycle anywhere in dark..

i envy that part..

steady in doing everything?

i never see her panic over a thing..

thanks for leading me a way to love the sky..

thanks for letting me disturb at class..

thanks!

and please be mature a bit..

a guy who started to shine once entering degree..

you are clever one..

sometime i don't understand why you like all those stuff and article with full english talking bout stuff that i don't understand..

maybe clever one thinking is hard to understand??

kakakaka

keep it up and hope to see your name in DEAN or PRESIDENT list

next year perhaps?

a guy who like to lies..

especially in stuff related to study?

weeeiii~ if you achieve good result,

we all will be happy for you..

don't cheat you failed even though you are not..

wish to see your name in DEAN n PRESIDENT list next year..

all the best in everything..

the very first friend i met in UTAR!

don't give up in study even though the exam is hard..

your hard work sure paid off little bit..

i want to graduate together!

_________________________

no picture doesn't mean i forget you!

or you are not important in my life..

all those picture are snap by myself and people send to me..

i don't have yours... =(

or i forgot i have but i don't know? xP

sorry!

thanks to my beloved family for everything!

i dont wanna reveal here..

but i appreciate those who treat me like family

and to those who are not, er.. i don't think my thought of you is important since you are not..

to all my friends,

thanks for being my friends and helping me throughout the year..

i know my bad behaviors...

have try to change it but failed..

thanks for accepting it!

and helping me..

i appreciate everything!

i will continue being like this for the very next year xD

sorry if i done anything wrong,

sorry if i anger you but i don't even realize bout it..

sorry that i don't know how to say sorry..

sorry that im being to straight forward sometimes..

sorry for being rude?

sorry for being sorry

****************************************

talk bout stuff i've done in this year

the very first one of course is entering degree..

meet lots of new friends...

went to Cameron Highland for the first time...

then went to KL for a 6Day n 6nights stay..

then went for a camp..

throughout all the experience..

i realize more stuff about myself..

i cant stay out from home for more than 5day?

i will feel tired and don't want to talk..

the trip will turn not very enjoyable for me..

i like Cameron..

superb like..

though i hate cold but i like the environment at there..

super like!

i cant stand on standing for more than 30minute for accompany people shopping?

this thing i realize when i go out with mum..

i will get suffocated..

drinking coffee kills me if im trying to be awake with it

but i still like to drink it especially MCD breakfast..

but mamak kopi panas don't seems taking the effect...^^

****************************************************

today is 31st December 2010!

around 7.35pm..

wah one year is gonna past just like this..

i dint really spend total 5days writing this stuff what..

hahaha!!!

after wrote bout those thing previously,

i had a serious thought of things that i done..

especially how my friends treated me..

i happy and so grateful meeting them..

i thought of lots of stuff,

lots of small things that my friend done that i doesn't realize..

really appreciate them!

example?

my birthday~

thanks shyuan for being the middle person of everyone..

thanks lijiun for organizing it?

thanks everyone who coming out that day,

dump all your stuff behind to celebrate with me though i 'don't really wanted it'

thanks!

another example?

BBQ n steamboat

thanks to all my classmate doing all the preparation

and all i does is come, eat n sit n back..

thanks terence who woke up early to the wet market to buy all those foods....

and everyone!

there is too much and if i keep writing it i guess this post will be damn freaking long..

and really..

i really meant it..

to everyone..

anyone who reading this...

you! yes you!!!

no need have a doubt on this..

It's You!

THANK YOU for taking care of me this year..

lastly..

i will wanted to write out something i wanted to do for the year 2011 and in future..

★ Korea~ is been on my dream list..

★ to learn Hangul~ should keep up to it.. 2010 started it but i dint manage to continue to study bout it.. lazy

★ to learn listen to Hangul~ argh! i wanted this badly, i wanted to listen to what korean talking about without subs!

★ Yoga~ learn lots of basic skills in yoga class.. now wanna practice one month at least one time doing some simple pose (LOL)

★ maintain or drop some kilo~ I'm getting fatter.. i hope this amount stop and wont grow.. xP but i seriously need to diet before i saw tire in my stomach =S

★ WushuCLub~ i talk bout this ever since i enter UTAR.. wanna learn Taichi.. but this see 1st.. i really very busy xD

★ Driving~ i wanna learn more driving, now still very noobie and turn more noob as time past.. and my hear beat as if it gonna come out from my chest each time i enter big roads with lots of cars..

★ Hair~ my hair is now totally a mess! i wanna have something different.. hmm.. will think bout this..

★ Programming~ i wanna try my best to cover this thing up!! it's gonna be my career base in future what ==

★ DEAN list~ dreaming of entering this list at least one time? but with my attitude toward study this will be another dream xP

★ successfully go through every semester with no C and C+ AND FAILED AND barred from taking exam~ this is the most important list to do.. pobi pobi.. at least give me pass every semester will do T_T

★ DOTA~ i dream bout playing this game very pro-ly every year but i still don't know how to play this ==

★ FACE LESS COMPUTER~ oh this is impossible, but i want to reduce atleast time on facebook? my hand is started to trembling hard sometimes.. i don't wanna get Parkinson in early age ==

life can be beautiful without internet and computer..

im trying to searching for a life which i imagine it every single day..

i'll tell you on next next post when im free ^^

now is something materialistic i wish to have,

though is not Christmas xD

dream 1st only the thing will come in future~

★★ Lomo-Cam Diana F++ with full accessories~ this is kind of unrealistic for me... xD cost almost 1.5k+ and above... maybe an instant cameras? xP

★★ Apple~ not apple that can eat, is I-phone but need to sign contract damn! why don't let us buy i-phone!~ or an Ipod-touch

★★ DSLR??~ lumix GF2 will do xD but this maybe will be 5 years+ onward plan

★★ Coat + scarf + boots~ damn i wanna wear this stuff madly but malaysia is too hot! that why i plan wanna go to Korea during spring time near winter ma xD

★★ Concert~ never been to any concert before.. wish to go but it is quite expensive.. the one i wish to attend most or at least try one time is musical theater^^ or a k-indie concert from whoever at korea^^

that all only things i can think off..
there are a lot!
but i can't recall it out of sudden..
all those are stuff i want badly badly!!!

the time is 8.15pm, will post this approximately at midnight.. if i still remember xD

one more hour gonna 2011!
here i am again..
this year a bit special i spend my new year eve with two of my baby laptop..
previously is only tv or sleep early..
watch youtube whole day long...
i think my life won't pathetic till where..
think positively! there are people still have to work at this moment..
there are people sleeping under broken roof!
life still goes on for new year.. =(
God Bless Them..
zzz!!!

i wanted to sleep early this year..
but waiting this to be posted up =S

actually i also don't know what i wanted for life
sometime i may sound like I'm a no-lifer who trying to have a life or searching for a life?
I should have to control myself for not being too emotional..
people around me are striving for me,
i should think of this point if I'm thinking negatively!
heck,
this make me cry =.=
sigh.. out of topic..
i also don't know what I'm talking about...

anyway..
thanks for spending time reading this..
HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
wish you all have a wonderful year..
and next year onward will be a bless to everyone!!
IM gonna turn 21!!!
psst~ im still 16 mentally and physically just basically im 21 xD

SLEEP

2010-12-16T23:17:00.003+08:00

I love sleep~

well basically everyone do right..

whenever anything sad

or I'm trying to avoiding something important like making decision which will like

*whoa* affected my whole life..

i will choose to run away by sleeping..

only by sleeping i feel myself the best..

i can even ignore eating or drinking just to have a nice sleep every in my entire LIFE!

sound over reacted right..

LOL

till something happen..

which make me so damn afraid going to sleep..

maybe i too kiasu already

or i don't wanna waste my effort and my baby laptop who work hard for it everyday..

yes.. for people who know me..

is that berry berry game from digi..

damn.. cant believe myself that im so obsess into this game..

now my sleep time totally disturbed..

every time i sleep, out of sudden i will awake of scared/afraid?,

and check the ranking just to make sure my ranking is not dropping..

if that rank fuckingly drop one rank..

my mind totally disturbed and i dont have any mood to do anything else except keep looking at it to chase back the ranking..

though in my mind i knew that i will have less chances of winning this game..

i still keep on doing it..

mind give me a consolation prize DiGi?

I don't really like blackberry..

If the prize give me a Diana f+ with full accessories,

I will definitely die hard for it.. xD

maybe sell it if i won the blackberry by any chance..

please help me wish other contestant line lag abit..

laptop/ desktop software lari lari..

LOL

but seriously for those who click on it everyday, please beware..

i already had minor symptom hand had less energy..

i very pity ler..

now sleep time less than 6 hour everyday..

if clashing with exam day..

seriously i need not have to sleep for the whole day..

i think my eye is so damn tired

and yet my brain keep phycho me don't go to sleep

or when you wake up..

sure something happen with the digi website..

then ranking drop!!!

AAAAAAAaaaaaaaahhhhh NOOOOOOOOooooo!!!!!!!!

this is the life I'm going to go through till next year when the game officially end..

or maybe one day i realize my ranking drop till the bottom the very next day i wake up..

i may give up..

and change to hotlink [== joking]

Love the day without the Sun

2010-12-15T07:41:00.004+08:00

The previous Exam i had yesterday was totally a FULL disappointed

had an early revision bout it..

during exam time,

I slept twice while thinking the point..

==''

cant even memorize what i had write for everything..

Don't even dare to look back at the question paper..

totally scare me off now..

I really disappointed with my performance for that paper..

so damn sad and straight went to sleep till the night..

and till now i don't have the mood to study for the next paper..

but the night scene just now had cheer me up little bit..

saw lots of shinning star lighten up my mood..

plus, meteor shower totally make my night..

don't know since when i started to in love to watch the sky..

started with the beautiful blue sky~

to the white cloud~

to the rain~

to the moon~

to the star~

how i wish the moment never end..

the cloudy night forces me to go back..

but i still like the cold cold night..

Is a perfect night..

Love the day without Sun..

Love the cold morning Breeze..

totally enjoy Longkai~ing in the night..

but no people like it..

making me do it alone most of the time

nevermind~

I should start pack up my mood to study now..

so long bloggie..

...

2010-12-13T03:23:00.004+08:00

Feels like crying..

The feeling where tear keep running within the eyeball so damn painful..

I miss home...

I am so pathetic broke..

If i can be like firework...

Zat~ing

2010-12-11T00:26:00.004+08:00

spend lot of time thinking whether did i accidentally speak out anything that hurt people around me..

still thinks that people around me cant accept the way i talk or express myself..

the way I'm talk very hard to accept mie??

i already very long time no 'zat lai zat qu' with friends...

miss those moment where ppl will never talk seriously, take thing seriously if i had talk too harsh and will shoot back me...

glad that my friend studying together with me at here..

at least won't get bored till no where when i cant find people to chat with..

yesterday MCD breakfast really fun~

so serious mie you..

you scaring me off to talk with you..

Lomo PhotoShop

2010-12-07T00:06:00.006+08:00

Influence by a friend of mine,

i started to use photoshop for the very first time..

Quite HARD ler..

learn everything my own from Mr.Google

Grab some advice after finish editing from people who played with Lomo Camera..

Accept some critics from expert..

This is the best i can do from now...

i got little bit improvement in adjusting coloring~

better than last time although still not expert yet..

The Ori

The Lomo Edit

I still think not very looks alike..

very hard to adjust the color, the sharpen, the contrast to look exactly the same..

maybe i have missed out some important element..

this is the best noobie 'piece-of-art' i manage to produce..

the original

im just trying to make the picture looks like VGA format..

FAILED

but i still like it..

SpoonFeed?

2010-12-02T10:40:00.004+08:00

Because it happen just now,

so i think i wanna do some comment bout it...

but first of all,

i have no intention in blaming anyone or what..

this is just my own-selves opinion..

calm down and read through.. If you are reading it anyway...

in education,

sometimes, we need to learn how to be independent a bit..

as if for my example..

my failure past tense..

form 6!

teacher really never cover everything..

never provide any tips for everything..

never bother to help (some)

we have to study ourself for one BOOK around 150pages(include cover, glossary and answer) as teacher unable to cover it..

everything cover by ourself..

no choice..

when i failed it,

no ones to blame when everyone blame on me..

it is my fault...

stand on education perspective,

teacher will never wrong..

is us the students who wrong if we unable to understand it..

because we never take a step to understand it..

asking someone?

do some research by our own?

maybe you never receive this kind of education before..

yeah~

is quite unfair for us if we compare this case with everyone

where,

other class get the tips and example..

it never get as serious as you need to make the tutors angry with you right..

i advice you on spot that you should apologize and in FACT,

you really should..

there is no point argue with tutors..

if she really change,

it bring no changes to our life also..

plus,

you will get hated by tutors..

ONLY YOU!!

while other student can feel so enjoy seeing you argue their rights with tutor..

but really appreciate your effort for trying to protect the whole class right

and be the brave one who voice out what on everyone mind

when you grew up a little,

when you make yourself a step into the society,

there will no longer be spoon feeding..

everything is on our own...

2010-12-01T03:16:00.004+08:00

Gonna have a Test later..

but i still study ZERO..

maybe because it is an open-book test?

out of random..

i shoot the skeleton of my poor phone

and my spec

do u notice anything in the bottom pic??

take note on my spec shadows

Exam is around the corner..

i should start to love the books + notes

all the best to me and everyone..

Edit Picture

2010-11-26T12:21:00.004+08:00

I've try to editing the picture by only changing the color tones..

only changing the color tones of a picture can make a lot of differences..

Using an Meitu picture editing software..

this is some of the result..

1. Original

100% no edit..

Capture using K750i(2mp)

what is so weird is,

i cant get edit back one 100% the same with each other pictures..

too many combination~

i like!

Random Picture

2010-11-25T23:32:00.008+08:00

some random picture i taken for the last two weeks~

it sucks!!

should learn ways to take a better picture before i buy a compact cam or DSLR~

I ❤ MCD breakfast..

2 pack of creamer

3 pack of sugar~

The morning scenery in my hostel

to the lake~

recently keep awake till the morning..

the school

when rocky banana vs rocky chocolate

i still prefer rocky chocolate

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

Panaroma~ing

That all

thanks for viewing~

comment are appreciated^^

++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

oh ya~

i register my course today

this will be the timetable that will accompany for the next five month next year

6 subject with only 4 with CGPA counted..

still considering to add in one more subject..

Stop Child Abuse

2010-11-24T17:57:00.005+08:00

I've get to know about a real story that happen long time ago around 1991,

where the step mum abuse her daughter till died..

I wonder,

why human can be so cruel in treating those children who are unable to protect themselves and fight for their rights..

The picture below are taken when she was admitted at the hospital..

for more story detailed story..

please click on HERE

[sorry, is in Chinese]

for video of this pity little girl..

please click on HERE

I really did not wanted to see all those kids being abused..

being treated even more worst than the house's pet...

Everyone are born to be loved..

Those kids who constantly being abused normally suffer serious mental illness..

they tend to shut themselves from the world..

some may suffer serious injury when they being rescue out from the pain,

and leave those permanent scar on their body and mind..

The worst of all is,

the kids never learn to smile..

the meaning of smile..

the meaning of love..

If parents unable to bring up the child well,

why bring them to the world on the very first place??

Smile from the kids

Would you can be so heartless and take it away from them?

Children who are being abused normally did not know they are being abused..

Every single day,

they live in fear..

they live in pain..

We should help them to get rid from those pain and fear,

Together, we should raise our hand up..

Protecting those smile..

so that it will never faded away~

Find out more on what we can do to help those kids in unicef

Let spread the word to all the people

❤

Cyberlink Youcam

2010-11-22T21:39:00.005+08:00

Addiction in playing with my baby webcam..

thanks to a friend of mine who introducing me using Cyberlink Youcam..

i found photography of own portraits can be that interesting~

having fun laughing at myself~

haha!

you guys should try it out too..

01. normal picture of myself

02.SS~ing warm up 1st

03.xD never saw the many of me before

04. this pose very cute de ler

but i look like evil witch trying to force princess eat apple

hahahaa

05. this effect not bad ler,

emo picture!

Jeng Jeng Jeng!

BEWARE~ the stupid me

06. i look so square with my ulti-mouth size

07. this is the legendary "ha mou san gong"蛤蟆神功

i succeeded learn till level 9

08. trying to be sexy!

oh yeah i did it~

i look sexy ler~

09. the avatar me..

just that I'm not born in blue color~

10. a Love face shape..

just for you!

thanks for watching...

try out the free trial version of

Cyberlink Youcam

BoyFriend n GirlFriend

2010-11-22T16:30:00.004+08:00

I used to teased my brother who are still single..

till now I'm still teasing him and of course he will tease me back..

NOW,

I'm in the age where the elder started to ask me to look for a boyfriend..

especially now in university~

my mum never say a word,

she love to said that

LOVE=FATE

or maybe she just knew that with my personality and attitude and the appearance..

no hope lar~

haha!

but yeah,

i do believe in it..

I still haven't found my fate yet..

but I'm not really hunger for it..

anyway..

thanks for concerning..

talking bout this stuff is quite embarrassing and awkward..

(-^.^-)

i think when the fate had come,

i had no courage to face it also..

my requirement is very high de ler.. hahahaha

************************************************

one song to share out~

very suit the lazy evening mood with a hot cup of tea n feeling the breeze of the wind in my home couch~

❤

spare some time n listen

2010-11-22T03:52:00.003+08:00

I never try hard enough..

I never had the heart to push me to try hard enough..

I'm getting lazier as day pass..

Internet may help U

and

Internet may kill U too

though i did not worth for it..

i still want it so badly..

it had been on my mind since then...

when i will be able to hold on to it..

DIZZY

2010-11-18T23:56:00.003+08:00

So jealous of them..

every week like so free..

taking too much subject really challenging my mind..

though i did not spend lot of time in studying..

but is hard to be home alone and yet can't go back to my hometown..

my mind is so tired..

staying just only at home and facing only laptop really tiring..

early in the morning wake up face the laptop till before i close my eye, the last thing i saw is also laptop..

where is my life???!!!

i should have limit myself not to log in to the evil website again..

I'm too free have nothing to do and think lots of unnecessary stuff~

hate myself because of that..

hate today so much

suddenly being attack by dizzy..

after eating the medicine bring no effect except more dizzy..

can't even face the note right now..

tomorrow some more will face another exam..

sudden miss of home when i called back home...

feel a little more sad when i heard he also back to the home already just now..

T.T

I'm sound so baby~

pathetic!

►Rejected Bloggies◄

learn

start with hate, end with love

水瓶

我的电话

do you want to know?

自卑

暗恋 幸福

a place for us

6/10/2011

Gardening Diary

BadBye

Handicap Me

i don't know

Friends?

ME = Lansi??

I am Fierce

long long long post

World of Critics

rejection

Work Hard

FAILURE

NEW PHONE!!!!!

=(

I x CNY

Addictive

nightmare

Update

working2

Working

2010 Memory

★ Korea~ is been on my dream list..

★ to learn Hangul~ should keep up to it.. 2010 started it but i dint manage to continue to study bout it.. lazy

★ to learn listen to Hangul~ argh! i wanted this badly, i wanted to listen to what korean talking about without subs!

★ Yoga~ learn lots of basic skills in yoga class.. now wanna practice one month at least one time doing some simple pose (LOL)

★ maintain or drop some kilo~ I'm getting fatter.. i hope this amount stop and wont grow.. xP but i seriously need to diet before i saw tire in my stomach =S

★ WushuCLub~ i talk bout this ever since i enter UTAR.. wanna learn Taichi.. but this see 1st.. i really very busy xD

★ Driving~ i wanna learn more driving, now still very noobie and turn more noob as time past.. and my hear beat as if it gonna come out from my chest each time i enter big roads with lots of cars..

★ Hair~ my hair is now totally a mess! i wanna have something different.. hmm.. will think bout this..

★ Programming~ i wanna try my best to cover this thing up!! it's gonna be my career base in future what ==

★ DEAN list~ dreaming of entering this list at least one time? but with my attitude toward study this will be another dream xP

★ successfully go through every semester with no C and C+ AND FAILED AND barred from taking exam~ this is the most important list to do.. pobi pobi.. at least give me pass every semester will do T_T

★ DOTA~ i dream bout playing this game very pro-ly every year but i still don't know how to play this ==

★ FACE LESS COMPUTER~ oh this is impossible, but i want to reduce atleast time on facebook? my hand is started to trembling hard sometimes.. i don't wanna get Parkinson in early age ==

★★ Lomo-Cam Diana F++ with full accessories~ this is kind of unrealistic for me... xD cost almost 1.5k+ and above... maybe an instant cameras? xP

★★ Apple~ not apple that can eat, is I-phone but need to sign contract damn! why don't let us buy i-phone!~ or an Ipod-touch

★★ DSLR??~ lumix GF2 will do xD but this maybe will be 5 years+ onward plan

★★ Coat + scarf + boots~ damn i wanna wear this stuff madly but malaysia is too hot! that why i plan wanna go to Korea during spring time near winter ma xD

★★ Concert~ never been to any concert before.. wish to go but it is quite expensive.. the one i wish to attend most or at least try one time is musical theater^^ or a k-indie concert from whoever at korea^^

SLEEP

Love the day without the Sun

...

Zat~ing

Lomo PhotoShop

SpoonFeed?

Edit Picture

Random Picture

Stop Child Abuse

Cyberlink Youcam

BoyFriend n GirlFriend

DIZZY

暗恋幸福